Role Play Idol [Season One] Challenge #2

Discussion in 'RP Idol Archive' started by Jayn, Aug 17, 2011.

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  1. Jayn

    Sep 30, 2007


    Welcome to Challenege number two! Hooray. You guys have made it this far. It was a hard decision, but ultimately, BlueKingBoy is who went home. Since you guys have a feel for how this will go now, we're going to pick up the pace and the challenges may get a bit more creative as time goes on. Another update is the the judge KingdomHearts530 has resigned. Also, Spaze has resigned.

    Once again, some things on judging are addressed in the spoiler below.

    Your judges for Season One will now be the mysterious FuzzyBlueLights, the role play veteran Prince, and the tasty Ploo-Hems.

    For any of you concerned with biased or unfair judging, SOME of my rules and regulations for them specifically can be found in the spoiler tag. Any unfair treatment will result in the forced resignation of said judge, no exceptions. They've all agreed to the below.

    Being a judge in itself can sound pretty liberating. But it's really not all fun and games. I have quite a few things to let you guys know, but we'll keep it as simple as possible for now. Obviously, this group was made for a reason. To share information and discuss things together between ourselves. You four are the judges. Keep in mind this makes your opinions influence the other members, and also puts you in a position of responsibility.

    You are to be f a i r. When you judge others posts, it has nothing to do with who they are, or if you like them, their literacy, if you've seen them before, how often they role play, blah. I mean, when you really judge them, it's unbiased.

    You are to be h u m b l e. Being in any kind of position of power might boost your ego more so than it may already be boosted. Just make sure you realize we're all just members here. Respect each other. It is important not to discourage anyone, or make them feel like they're unimportant, unworthy, or anything negative. Please use caution and think before you hit 'submit'.

    You are to be be l a w f u l. The next thing I'll cover are some basic guidelines. Rather, areas you'll actually be judging. [...CONT'D ELSEWHERE]

    The Challenge

    This challenge is all about Interaction, so you will be interacting with another contestant that we've randomly paired you up to using this generator.


    Your parings are; (If I get your gender wrong, TELL ME.)

    Dr_Wigglz [m] x Master of Keyblades [m]

    Marushi [f] x Chesterfield Snapdragon Whatever [f]

    Shell Bullet [m] x Ace Phoenix [m]

    Tummer [m] x Bushy Brow [m]

    Britishm [m] x Fuuka Yamagashi [f]

    In this scenario, you've been in a role play for a bit now. This role play has a fantasy plot, and though the world itself is like Earth, you've actually just been accepted into a super strict, badass demon slayer academy. You have one power that you can mention by name (you don't have to), and you can only 'use' in regards to the rules. This academy was created to train people like you to become the greatest demon slayer assembly ever. So, yeah, demons run and rampage outside the walls of this academy, yaddayadda plot doesn't matter.

    There are two roles to be played. There is the Initiator and the Receiver. Now, the Initiator is the role player that will start conversation with the other, and the Receiver is the role player that will be replying to the Initiator. These roles are not predetermined and depend on who posts first. The first person to post in a pair will be the Initiator, and the second person to postwill be the Receiver. (It is a very good idea to try and post first.)

    Please use the character that is your gender in this challenge. This is so that the Initiator will know what your name is/how your character looks based off of what you posted in the sign ups thread. (Shell Bullet-- Please post your profiles in that thread now.) For EXAMPLE;

    Let's say I'm paired up with Fuuka Yamagashi. She is a female, so she'll be using her female character. As the initiator, I'll be writing to her character Tessa River, not Chris River, because Fuuka herself is a female.

    Your job is to have a successful and meaningful interaction with another character. Make the judges feel something. It ultimately doesn't matter who's the initiator and who's the receiver; but as the initiator your job is to successfully and convincingly approach another role player, for a valid reason and interact with them. As the receiver your job is to react appropriately to this initiation and respond accordingly.

    You will be in the dining hall after 'demon slayer orientation', meaning you were just spoken to by the Headmaster about what your duty will be, how you are to train hard in your classes, and the threat of demons running over, etc. Cliche stuff. (The dining hall is where you eat, btw.)

    If you need more clarification, please contact me.

    Rules or restrictions for this Challenge.

    ♣ You MUST interact with your Partner(s) only.

    ♣ Remember that this is a competition. Try your best to impress me, and the judges. If you're not trying, it will be evident.

    ♣ Posts count, so be relevant. Please don't spam questions in this thread about this challenge, contact me personally.

    ♣ You have until AUGUST 20TH, 2011 to post. Preferably before then, because we want as much time as possible for the judging process. <: If you do not make that deadline, you are disqualified.

    ♣ Be creative and have fun! It is a competition, but it's also about being creative, original and letting loose.

    ♣ Graphics are okay to use if you want them. But I'm not making them for anyone in this competition. And if you use them, you're not scoring any extra points with the judges. I've made it clear that graphics does not equal superior.

    ♣ Post your posts in this thread, below my post.

    ♣ Once you submit, that's your post. You can edit spelling errors and such, but please don't add more on. Only because it would be unfair to post, compare to everyone elses post and edit more in based off of what other people post.

    ♣ Only use ONE of your characters.

    ♣ If you mention your power, you can use it, but have a valid reason. Everyone should be in the dining hall, on their way to the dining hall, or leaving it. And powers must NOT disrupt anyone else.

    Members who have yet to post...

    Fuuka Yamagishi - Tessa River [f]+ Chris River [m] DISQUALIFIED.

    Bushy Brow - Izzy Kumo [m] + Ilia Kumo [f]

    Marushi - Lance [m] + Kara [f]

    Dr_Wigglz - Gexln [m] + Rosalina [f]

    master of keyblades - Allen [m] + Mina [f]

    Britishism - Rory [m] + Keira [f]

    Ace Phoenix - Kyatchi [m] + Mizume [f]

    theonly9one - Heather [f] + Brad [m]

    LilBueno - Jensen Hartley [m] + Jayna Gleek [f] DISQUALIFIED.

    Tummer - Hannah [f] + Luis [m]

    Happy role playing. :]
  2. Bushy "Don't think. Imagine!"

    May 27, 2008
    On the other side of the internet.
    Izzy couldn't believe his bad luck...
    Orientation was now over after a lot of boring cliche stuff that everyone had pretty much already known anyway.
    He had gone to check the role-board to see the classes everyone was in, but what he had seen truly sucked. His twin sister was completely in another class.

    He was so accustomed to being with her for most things that now it felt weird to know they were separated. Too weird...

    Dammit... where is it?

    Sure he was confident in his own power, he could most certainly handle a few demons. That would be no problem. His sister was tough too, but he still worried for her. After all, as her brother, it was his job to protect her right?

    Stupid big acadamy of big-ness...
    Ah! there it is!

    He approached the dining hall after getting lost several times in this vast academy.
    It wasn't his fault, he'd lost his stupid map of the school grounds (okay... so maybe it was his fault) and this place was huge. The Academy was a set of old buildings, having survived for many years during the previous Demon eras.

    Or... so they'd been told anyway.

    As he walked in, his appetite had vanished from his worry... He just seated himself by one of the older students, Luis.
    "Hey, Luis... Do you get worried about your girlfriend? I mean..." he paused, thinking how to phrase the question.
    "Like, being in different classes, you can't always be around to protect her right?" he asked.
    It was a similar situation to what Izzy felt he himself was facing, which is why he had asked but phrased it in a way that Luis would understand.
    Of course, the difference was that he was worried about his sister and not a girlfriend...
    Yeah... That'd be weird if this suddenly turned into a huge misunderstanding.
  3. Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

    May 14, 2007
    Luis was pretending to read his used copy of Decapitating Demons: How to Deal with the Non-Living when he saw Izzy come his way. For some reason, Luis got along with girls his age better than he did with guys. Izzy was different though; he was more easy to communicate with. When Izzy brought up that he and Hannah would be in separate classes, Luis let out a slight laugh.

    "Haha, don't let her pretty face fool you, man," Luis said as he put his book away. "Trust me, Hannah's just as tough as any guy our age. I'm really going to miss sitting behind her though. It's just the way fate works; we're all at this school for one reason or another."

    Luis broke away eye contact when he started talking about fate. He believed in what he said, but only partially. He knew that it was fate for him and Hannah to meet to meet last year. He also knew that fate would bring him an amazing friend like Izzy. The one thing he didn't comply with was why he was at this school in the first place. His fighting skills were a bit above average, and he hadn't awaken his true power yet. He was afraid that he would be left behind by everyone else.

    "So, how was your break," Luis asked Izzy.
  4. Glen Returned from the dead

    Jan 18, 2011
    Gexln carefully pushed open the door. His talk with the Headmaster had taken longer than he had thought, and he had only just found his way to the hall due to not listening to half of what the headmaster had said. He looked around the room, noticing all the students there and attempting to find the person the Headmaster had spoken about. What was his name? Albert? No.. he shook his head as in frustration as he tried to remember just who he had been talked to about. "Allen!" he exclaimed, finally remembering the name that had eluded himself.

    Gexln ignored the strange looks of people as he walked past them. He was used to getting strange looks, so he just ignored them and kept walking, finally spotting the person he was looking for. He walked over to Allen and stood with his muscles tensed, ready to jump back at any moment. He trusted very few people, and those that he did often ended up dead. He made his best effort to appear calm and relaxed, and then spoke up. "So Allen, the Headmaster spoke of you. You sound like an..interesting individual. Doubt i'm going to be talking to you much due to being assigned guard duty against the demons..but hey no telling what can happen right? I'll be fine because of my.." he paused, not knowing how to put it. "Talent" he said at last, "but what about you? How do you think a weakling like yourself will handle things?" he asked, jeering at Allen.
  5. MadDoctorMaddie I'm a doctor, not a custom title!

    Apr 19, 2008
    Med Bay
    Heather was beyond nervous. Hey, it wasn't every day that a girl found out that she was supposed to leave her entire life behind to fight against the forces of evil or whatever they were called. Sitting down at a free seat in the dining hall, she poured some watered down grape juice into a pitcher and with an absent-mind looked around the room as she swirled her finger right above the drink, eyes not registering the piles of students coming into the huge dining hall, or the small vortex created in her pitcher. Shaking her head to get back a bit of focus, she dipped her finger in the dark purple liquid, grabbed a napkin and dabbed at it, trying to control the splashes of color to create something resembling a picture.

    The make-shift painting wasn't quite sufficient enough to keep her attention, and Heather pushed it away with an annoyed sigh, dropping the napkin into the lap of the student sitting next to her, and Heather finally noticed the soft-looking girl, maybe a few years younger than her with dark hair, occupying the seat.

    What Heather meant to say was, "Oh, so sorry about that, didn't mean to drop that on you. I'm Heather, what's your name?"

    What actually came out could easily be described as an avalanche of barely coherent words:

    "Ohmigosh, I'm reallyreally sorry about that! I'm Heather, and I have no idea of what I'm doing here, I mean I did do some, okay a lot, kickboxing back home, but that doesn't mean I'm really badass enough to fight devils or demons and stuff... Where are you from, you're from Earth right? Of course you are, the way you dress is really Earthy... I'm from Chicago, how about you? I wonder how long it's gonna take us here, I'm supposed to start my junior year in two weeks! I'm studying to become a gym teacher, although I wanna do some competitive swimming right after I finish college, I'm already doing it a bit, I mean, I just love water, it's like I get this sixth sense whenever I'm submerged, and I just feel stronger and stronger! Oh my God, maybe that's my power or something, they were talking about some supernatural things during that grand introduction speech, weren't they? Are you in college yet? What are you studying? What abo-

    "Oh dear God, what the hell did I just say!"
    Heather buried her face in her hands, drew a few deep breaths and gulped down most of what was left in her pitcher, and with new found clarity smiled at the girl.

    "I'm sorry about that, when I get nervous I babble a lot, as you noticed. Could we start over?" she offered her hand out.

    "I'm Heather, what's your name?"
  6. Lauriam I hope I didn't keep you waiting...

    Jun 4, 2009
    Nonbinary she/he/it?
    Kara turned to the girl and smiled. Being empathic, she knew how nervous Heather was, and whenever Kara met anyone nervous, she wanted to make them feel more comfortable. "It's nice to meet you, Heather. My name's Kara," She said. The best way to make someone feel more comfortable: get them to talk about themselves. "I'm from Earth, too, but I don't live in a big town like Chicago. What's it like there? I've always wanted to see it." While Kara talked, she began to feel the effects of being an empath. She started to feel Heather's nervousness in regard to her own situation. She sure sounds athletic. Is that why she was brought here? I guess she could fight monsters if she had too, but what about me? I'm not athletic at all. I can't even climb that stupid rope at school, let alone fight a moster. What if they make me fight? Sure, I'll know how the demon is feeling, like that's a big help. What if I don't make it? If that happens, what'll they tell mom and dad, and Lance? Thinking about her fiance made her suddenly feel guilty as well as nervous. Oh, he must be so worried. Does he even know what's going on? Is he looking for me? Being an empath was wierd. She not only felt the effects of other peoples emotions, she also had a hard time coping with her own. She needed to distract herself, or she'd start panicking. Glad she'd found a friend to talk to, she turned back to Heather.
  7. CrownMoksha Decimo

    Jan 11, 2011
    On board the DenLiner
    Hearing someone call his name, Allen turned and saw Gexlin. Noticing his muscles tenses, he decided not to say anything about it. When it came to him, this was something that was common. What did the head master say about me? He wondered hearing Gexlin say that he sounded interesting. "Makes sense why we wouldn't talk, since like you just said nobody knows when the demon will show up and with you on guard duty. He said before Gexlin mention his "talent" . "You of all people should not to judge people at first glance. I think I'll do just find, you’re not the only one with a "talent" you know. Besides you never know, sometimes a weakling is stronger than what you expect."
  8. ♥♦♣♠∟uxord♥♦♣♠ Banned

    Jul 19, 2007
    Code Vault
    Black, white, black, white. Kyatchi followed the pattern on the floor as he walked. He recalled what he was told earlier by a random teacher.

    "Look for Jensen Hartly. He's not used to this kind of situation. It might be hard to find him since there is little to know about his features except for his brown eyes. I know you can do this though due to your... ability," the teacher said with a creepy smile. Kyatchi dropped the memory from his head and continued to follow the pattern to the dining hall.

    He kept his head down and searched for Jensen. He didn't need his eyes to tell him that he was on the far side of the room looking out a window. Kyatchi rummaged in his right pocket and pulled out a perfect spherical glass ball, about a half inch radius. The ball rose from his hand as he finally reached Jensen. The ball went up to the back of Jensen's head and melted into it, as if it were water being absorbed by a sponge.

    "Hello Jensen. My name is Kyatchi. I am here to protect you. Don't be alarmed. You aren't going to get hurt. This is just my power. Infiltration with psychotelekinisis. Just answer a few questions. Firstly your opinion of this place. I'd then like to know why you are here. Lastly your power. Tell it to me. Or better yet show me. Show me how strong you are," thought Kyatchi. The message was now inside Kensen's head and he was most likely hearing it now. A clear bump grew on Kensen's head and the glass ball came out and moved into Kyatchi's pocket. Kyatchi waited for a minute and saw that Jensen was starting to glance around.

    "Which are you going to do first Jensen?" said Kyatchi with a smirk.
  9. Britishism Gummi Ship Junkie

    Jun 4, 2011
    Radio Free Wasteland
    beware those close

    Rory stretched and slowly walked down the stairs. The reality of where he was was just setting in. He was at a school for demon hunting. He was going to fight cruel hellspawn. He wasn't sure whether he was excited or not.

    He pushed open the doors to the dining hall and strode in. There were a shocking amount of people. He waved at a few kids and grabbed a seat. The table was near empty, aside from a girl in the seat next to him. She looked older than him, if not by much. He placed his bag on the floor and turned to her.

    "Hey." he said with a grin. "My name's Rory Wilater." he continued, clearing a place on the table. "So... how do you feel about the school? Got any friends here?"
  10. Jayn

    Sep 30, 2007
    Jayn ; Critiques.

    Mmkay. You were the first to post, so congrats to that. Being prompt is important in a role play. Other than that, my critique will be rather similar to last time. Ellipses were still used a bit in over-abundance but you definitely show growth, which is very important. Now, content-wise...Your posts are always very real. I like that about them. It was a nice touch to include him being so worried about his sister. One thing is that you didn't state how exactly you knew Luis. Like, if he was your friend, how you knew his name, etc. Other than that, good job.

    Very good, Tummer. The book made me laugh, in a good way. Very clever to through that in. I really enjoyed your post. You were who I struggled with mostly between Theonly9one. Though neither you or Bushy stated how you guys became friends since you were both new to the school, you stated that you were very good friends, in subtle way with the 'Fate' bit. Your post was emotional, in a good way. Not over the top, but it still made me interested in the character. His self-doubt managed to be heart warming instead of generic angst, and I enjoyed it. Very, very good. Eh. I can't find much wrong with it, to be honest. You did extremely well.

    Your initiation was very creative. Having the headmaster talk to you and send you to find Allen was a good way to start. Howeverrrr, what could have made it an even stronger move was stating exactly why the headmaster had sent Gexln to find Allen. What was special about Allen? That kind of thing. It was also a bit unclear if he was being rude on purpose due to his personality, or if it was unintentional to come off that way. But these are minor things and you, otherwise, did a very good job. :]

    Your post is adorable. You're the winner so I don't want to say anything except for good job. xD Your post was very real, detailed and personality-filled. I like how I could feel your character's frustration, and the innocence behind it was great. You also got into the world very well. The 'Earthy' comment was clever. Great job. You deserved your win. ;]

    At first I was confused when you said 'empath', but after realizing you were referring to her power, everything made a lot more sense. I really enjoy your posts so far. They have a consistent feel to them, with the detail and the gentleness. The way she was so motherly towards Hannah made me smile. When it disintegrated into nervousness impressed me too. Other than that, there were a couple of silly spelling errors highlighted in red. You did well. :]

    I'm glad you had your character stand up for himself and point out the fact that everyone had 'talents'. That reaction had a very real feel to it, so I liked it. Something to work on might be that when you posted, you rephrased a lot of what Dr_Wigglz had already said. The parts in red are the parts that were taken directly from something he had said. I understand that it's conversation, I just advise you to make sure that your originality takes up much more of the RP post than restating something that was already done, IMO. Nothing else big, so good job. :]

    I know it was a mistake, but you changed Jensen's name to Kensen in the post a couple of times. That was distracting. xD;; I appreciate that you put a reason as to why you had to find Jensen. What confused me was why he was so sinister about it. He seemed like a bad guy, like he was harassing Jensen, even though a teacher had pointed out that Jensen wasn't used to it. So I figured it just was his personality? But it confused me. Other than that, great presentation, spelling and grammar.

    Good job, once again. I feel though that the tone of the piece contradicted the personality of the actual character. The words were rather dry, as I was reading them. But it seems that the character was actually pretty social, especially when he approached the girl. For example, the beginning paragraph made me chuckle with the sarcastic hellspawn comment, but then it doesn't continue with the witty-ness, and melts into something more casual, which was a little inconsistent to me personally. I couldn't tell what kind of 'tone' you were going for at first. But overall, a decent post. No spelling errors, perfect presentation, and a good job. c:

    You all did very well. I can already tell this is going to be a hard elimination process. D:
  11. FuzzyBlueLights Traverse Town Homebody

    Sep 20, 2009
    Owl City

    For Chesterfield Snapdragon McFistycuffs;
    You are the winnar. Nothing much to say here. Interaction was the key and you grabbed it and opened the door to Winning. Damn good job.

    For Bushy Brow;
    Big-ness made me laugh. And the sweetness of him missing and worrying over her was overload. But not overloading in a bad way. A more can't get enough "Awwww" way, you know? I think a bit more of you describing the journey to the dining room would have lead you to winning.

    All and all, I like the style you're using to RP. And you racked up points with me by being the first to have your character already know and be on a friend basis with your partner. Keep it uuuup.

    For Marushi;
    Over all you picked a power that added what I told you to would help you plus Kara(with her natural warm, motherly feel). And help it did. Interactions and like I said in the last challenge, feelings. Were both mixed into your post and it gave birth to something good. You. Did. Good. Girl. Though the part about her being from Earth threw me off. Lol but that's because I read the "You're from Earth, right?" paragraph really fast as if she was speaking fast and nervously to me.

    For Ace Phoenix;
    Your intent was great. The character's personality, a bit odd, but okay. The glass ball thing was coooool. You definately would have won had it been a contest on creativity. But what I disliked most about your post was the dialogue. It just felt dull and cliche. You got detail and thought pretty down pat. But that dialogue is what I am nooooot feeling.

    For Dr_Wigglz;
    You were doing well. Nice talk with the headmaster. Inner chat with yourself that wasn't creepy or off topic or not in character. You followed your character's self to a T and also performed today's challenge well, Gexln interacted with his partner. But just doing the challenge and having great detail isn't what's going to win this.

    You're getting much better, your first Gexln post doesn't compare to this one.

    For tummer;
    Giving the book that name was a nice touch to the Demon Slayer School setting. You weren't annoying talking about fate to much. It's also good to see that your character can interact with mostly females, so it'd be interesting to see Luis interact with a guy he didn't like. So I'll keep my eye on him.

    Keep making magic.

    For master of keyblades;
    Unfortunately for you, there's not much good to this post. There was no detail. There were spelling errors, not to many though. And lastly your interaction was just dialogue. Which is not how winnars are made here.

    Come on! >:L You can do better then this.

    For Britishism;
    This piece was great but confusing. You interacted and kept me mildly entertained. But like I said to MoK, you can do better then this. And a bit more specifications about whether he was a new kid that knew of those kids he waved to or that he was new and was just being friendly would have made your post better.
  12. Plums Wakanda Forever

    Aug 21, 2009
    Plums shouts so that the world can hear: "Make me a Critique Magi!"

    Alright, so like Jayn had mentioned, there was still a bit of overuse of ellipses. I think that you could have cut them out at these parts, which to me seemed like they would have had a better effect without the pause:

  13. Arch Mana Knight

    Oct 5, 2007
    Late Critique...but my reasons are valid. B|

    It would've been nice if you really explained how your character knew Luis had a girlfriend or anything. Were they already friends? Was Luis someone that popular for your character to just know? Other than that the post was great. I just feel automatically made your character know details about Luis without showing what were the underlying circumstances that made him know Luis's name and stuff. ...I'm going to suspect that a lot of people will be doing this...I know it makes things easier but there's no reason to circumvent this little issue.

    Well now we got something going here. Nice use of creativity with the book. When I first saw that I felt like you should win(but when voting came I was busy with more important stuff). Anyways...glad that you mentioned your character met Bushy's character and had already become great friends and all that. Personally I like messing with people and saying, "HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?" but that's me. Loved the post and if this wasn't rushed, I'm sure I'd find something to nitpick at.

    Would've been nice to know why the head of a school would single out a student directly to your character. Outside of that detail, it's nice to see that not everyone needs to act nice in their first encounter.

    I'm going to be brutally honest. ...Change your username. Anyways, you won. Why do you need me to tell you that you made a great post? I'd be repeating what everyone else said and that's not really helpful, is it? Unless you want me to insult you for no good reason. ...Do you?

    At least your character admits her power is practically useless in battle. I'm sure if given the chance, she'd find an improbable way to become useful or magically sprout awesome powers and/or fighting ability out of nowhere. Hm...nothing specific to point out here. Just a quick proof-read would do you some good because I see two spelling errors. Your character feels realistic given what you've written.

    D'aw. You should've said something like, "smarter than you expect". Again, that's just my opinion on a general retort. Still, I like the reaction you gave. Hm...feels like you're lacking detail though. why would a "random teacher" tell your character to go protect another student? Just assuming that they're helpless and trying to force it on another RPer isn't the friendliest option out there. You were a bit too "in your face" with your confrontation and used the wonders of "someone told me to.." to get what you needed in order to start an interaction.

    So who are you talking to? The point of this challenge is to interact with another RPer's character. I've seen this problem enough and it's normally solved through convention of OOC talk. You guys don't get the luxury of that so it's best to specify who you're addressing in your post. Who is "she"? Sure I could look at who's paired up with who but that doesn't mean you get to skip pointing out who you're supposed to talk to.
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