Most Likely to Never Hit Premium

I would never spend my ill gotten gains on something so cheap and frivolous as GAMBLING. Come now, good sir or madame, do I seem like an ordinary CAD or PILLOCK? NO! NOT ME GOOD SIR OR MADAME! NOT ME FOR A SECOND. I CANNOT TRULY EXPRESS THE DEPTHS OF HOW EXTRAORDINARY AND HOW UNCADLY I AM. BUT LET THIS BE THE START OF A LESSON TO YOU. A LESSON THAT WILL COME IN FIVE INSTALLMENTS, EACH CONSISTING OF A LARGER AND MORE FULFILLING MORAL THAN THE LAST. BUT ON TO LESSON THE FIRST! THE REASON WHY A BEING SO SUBLIMELY AND EXQUISITELY INTELLIGENT AND SUCCESSFUL AS MYSELF DOESN'T GAMBLE IS BECAUSE GAMBLING IS AMORAL. GAMBLING IS SINFUL AND TERRIBLE BEHAVIOR FOR A YOUNG SIR OR MADAME SUCH AS YOURSELF AND I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE WELL AND TRULY PUNISHED FOR THE KNOWLEDGE OF SUCH BASED AND DEBAUCHEROUS ACTIVITIES. OH, HOW YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED. BUT THAT'S FOR AFTER THE LESSON, WHEN ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN HAVE LEFT AND GONE HOME FOR THE DAY. WHEN YOU ARE ALL ALONE WITH ME AND YOUR PUNISHMENT. BUT ONWARD THROUGH THE LESSON, I SAY. NOW WE ALL KNOW GAMBLING IS AWFUL AND DISDAIN WORTHY, BUT SOME MAY THINK THE SAME OF ONE WHO ABUSES AND ABANDONS FAMILY. THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE QUITE WRONG, HOWEVER. HAHA. SEE, THE FACTS OF THE MATTER ARE THAT A PERSON AS MORALLY UPSTANDING AND UNWAVERINGLY CORRECT AS MYSELF CAN ONLY HOPE TO FULFILL HIS OR HER TRUE POTENTIAL IN SOLITUDE. WHY? YOU ASK, YOU CUNNING LITTLE GUTTERSNIPE. BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS, I SAY. SOLITUDE IS THE VINEGAR SOLUTION FOR THE CRAFTING OF THIS GRAND PICKLE OF SUCCESS. SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED, CHILDREN? NOTHING? WELL, FUCK YOU, TOO YOU FILTHY LITTLE INGRATES. I'LL HAVE YOU DRAWN AND QUARTERED, I WILL. I'LL ROAST YOU ON A SPIT AND FEED YOU TO THE DOGS. Teenager's, you give them an inch, and they walk all over you.

 

I voted for Zelda cause I usually see her post in the last letter first game or banned the user above... doesn't seem to be getting to prem anytime soon with those numbers.

 

U kno tht wth grt powah cms grt responsabrurity, rite?

 

Spoiler: My reply, But really,thanks