KNIGHT's Code

Alaric kind of reminds me of Zack. >> I don't know why. XDD

I liked it. Continue. B|​

 

Mr. Impatient pants. XD

I liked it. 8DD

Continue, young man. B|​

 

If possible try to lengthen out your chapters a little. I know you're going light with this but it's not fun coming here seeing an update and finishing it in two minutes and not getting a full chapter's worth of action, talking, or description. In a novel a chapter is more than two pages, I'd try to gradually get up to that kind of length keeping in mind that events have beginnings, middles, and ends and each chapter should exhibit this to a very subtle extent rather than separating that out into multiple chapters and leaving the reader hanging like that.

 

I don't like the director. D8<

XDD

Very good. I'm wondering where did these demonic wolves come from. XD Can't wait for the next update.​

 

Grammatical error in the first line. Aside from a few of those I don't think there s much I need to worry about but don't forget to be a bit more vividly descriptive rather than blandly descriptive. Keep going on as you've done and you'll improve.

I hate commenting on story lines themselves because of how opinion based that is, but I must say right now that I know exactly where I do not want this to go and hope you don't take it there.

 

At this point giving specific advice isn't really going to help since everything is pretty much an overall thing so I'll just say that you need to keep practicing and learning how to write better than you can now. Constant improvement is important.

I also see that you don't seem to be going where I didn't want this to go so I'm pleased.

 

D:

No, Alaric. ;~;

Very interesting. I'm liking everything so far. :3 *waits impatiently for next update*​

 

Oh wow. You sure did take a while but the chapter was good. Very good. ^^
I didn't see anything grammatical errors or spelling errors. I like that you kept a nice pace when Alaric started fighting.

I hope Alaric can do something about all of this. :3

Can't wait for the next update.​

 

Don't really have much to say. I'd add a few words when Alaric is leaving the van to express more clearly that he's leaving the van and going down the street not just turning away from it. It's easy to get that given what you have now but I think it would be nice is all. It's readable as ever but I did think that you'd abandoned it.

 

Ashley makes me laugh. The way she is towards Alaric is funny. And the tiny fist part made me laugh for some reason.
It was a decent chapter and the last part made me curious. It was short, but good. Continue.​

 

Yay, bestial killings! 8DD
And awesome kickass Irish chick is awesome. XD
Still keeping a steady pace, which is great. And good character development going on, which is also great.

 

Nice. Things are beginning to get a little more interesting. It was a bit short, but good. I'm beginning to feel sorry for Alaric. Can't wait for the next chapter.​

 

Actionness! >8D
At first I forgot why they were in the sewers. I had to go back up and skim a little to remember. XDX
Update moar. B|