It's night

[x] Be the other girl.

 

It's afternoon and you have to be somewhere. When you say somewhere, you mean across the pond. Good thing it's still early-ish. You might still make it. A sketchy fellow named Lucas Easton tried to hire you yesterday-- three days ago, actually but sleeping schedule aside-- you want to know what the bugger is up to. So you made a few calls, had a DNA analysis done on a hair you found that turned out to be yours and waited around a lot. All you learned from that whole deal was he'd be in America tomorrow looking for a sniper. Probably to replace you since you turned him down. That's what really tore it. Whoever he was working for just thought they could replace you like that. They had someone else in mind even. The nerve of it. The sheer unadulterated nerve. So you knew who it must be. That nutter staying in Colorado. Well, last time you checked she was, she might have moved on by now. Absolutely bonkers. She was the only one it could possibly be. Okay, not really, but you're dead certain of this one so just let it happen. Wait. What is that? Oh, yeah. Your doorbell is calibrated to play Tiny Dancer today. Why did you even get that done? It seemed so novel while you were drunk that time. But a month of 8-bit Elton John later and you're just about sick to death of it. It's probably your sunglasses that you ordered last week either way. Is there no way to make it stop? Is there no peace from this torment? It's what you were waiting on anyway. When you open the door a messenger is there with a package that's labeled with the same brand as those sunglasses you ordered. He asks for a signature. You

[] grab the package and slam the door.
[] sign your current alias.
[] sign something else.
[] start flirting with him.

Spoiler

 

Oh god it's like we're starting the whole thing again.

[] sign something else.

 

[x] open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the DINOSAUR.

 

[x] open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

 

HIs nametag says Ben. Ben... You haven't had this one before. You briefly think of adding him to the count but he's not really that good looking. In fact he's almost as short as you. Lame. So you grab the package from him, start signing your current alias but then decide to finish with a new surname. You can't be too careful around folk these days. He smiles at you revealing a set of crooked, yellowing stereotypes. You slam the door promptly, only hoping his face was close enough for you to knock a few of the buggers out for you. You run the box through a metal detector next to your door. It's clean. Though there are a few chemical weapons that could be hidden in there that don't need any metal, they'd hardly make it through a trip in a box like this one. So you tear it open. Big surprise. It's sunglasses. Why did you even want these? Ray Bands? Ray Brands? What even does that mean? You toss them aside. If you weren't paid so damn well, you might have a spending problem. What were you doing again? Oh yeah, you've got a psychobitch to see. You were about to print out your plane tickets before you were distracted.

What distracted you?

Spoiler

 

Some crooked-toothed delivery guy.

 

your pantslessness

 

Spoiler

You need only look down to realize what's up. So to speak. You were looking for some pants. Er, maybe a skirt. Something short probably. No point in having legs like yours if you're gonna go around dressed like a dude, or worse, her. Then before you'd found some appropriate netherly accouterments the good old 8-bit Elton had gotten your attention. That's totally what happened. It's your own damn house, the nether garments can wait until you are damned if modesty is gonna dictate how you dress even once. Now it's time to get those tickets.

Your computer is a new one and that's about all you can say about it. Computing isn't your thing. You've used the same Mokia Brick since you can remember having a cell phone and you try to have all your meetings in person. It's old fashioned with this video chat stuff you've heard about but it give you a chance to up your count and seal the deal in a more personal way so you prefer it. Tech should only be used to kill people and maybe do one or two other things. You nod to yourself slightly. The airline website is pretty awful you discover after about ten minutes of fiddling and futzing. You really wish you'd done it earlier now, but hindsight is 20/10, you guess. You're a little far sighted so you have to fix the metaphor to apply to you. You don't like wearing your glasses though, because you think it makes you look kind of plain.

After ten more minutes you've got your tickets. You also make a note to file a complaint about this. The whole thing is an unmitigated embarrassment and should be repaired post haste. Now you've got your tickets. As you recall you were going to

[] remember how nothing you've eaten today.
[] clothe thine self.
[] admire your awesomeness for a moment.

 

[x] remember how nothing you've eaten today.

 

Admire awesomeness, and perhaps legs.

 

Yeah that's right, you haven't eaten since last night. You're supposed to be on a diet, but let's be completely honest with yourself. You've never been fat by any stretch of the imagination unless you're counting some of your more conspicuous endowments. You are well the hottest person you know. It's a good feeling being the queen. Why were you even on a diet? Maybe it's your generally unhealthy eating habits you were trying to fix. Regardless of any of that pointless drivel, you've got a pizza with your name quite figuratively on it. Alright. Here it is in all its cold, hard, day old glory. Your banana, pineapple, jalaepeno and pepperoni pizza. As you're working your way through your first slice, you realize it's missing something. Yeah it's missing something alright. Needs more mayonnaise. After you've rectified that oversight in the manufacturing process it's time to get a move on. Seriously, you have somewhere to be, what's all this wherewithall about pizza you've got going on. There are people that desperately need you to get revenge on them and a psychobitch who is going to help you do that whether she is aware of it or not. You've got an hour before you've got to leave for the airport. You haven't packed your... anything, yet. Perhaps now's the time to get on that. You

[] Pack up a set of cute clothes and check to see if your package has made it to the States yet.
[] Pack up a set of conservative clothes and call a guy about a gun.
[] Pack up whatever and get a move on early.
[] Don't pack anything and stop by Lemarckus' place.

 

[x] Pack up a set of conservative clothes and call a guy about a gun.

 

[] Pack up a set of conservative clothes and call a guy about a gun.

 

Spoiler

Your head is oddly clear. No internal arguments, just a single driven purpose. It's less interesting but it saves time and effort. So you grab an outfit that won't stand out. Something that exudes that air or demure and reservation that is precisely antithetical to your personality. They'll be completely and utterly fooled. The tossers. Whoever they are. They'll see you and they'll think you're innocent and pure as a freshly fallen snowflake. Or a nun. Nuns are pretty nonthreatening. It's just a sweater and a long skirt you remind yourself. Nuns have wimples. Those things are probably the only threatening thing about nuns though. Never know what's under those... Maybe even baldness. Shudder. You also need to see if your Dragunov is done. It took a tumble back in Belgrade that you thought was the end of it, but Snowflake had been kind enough to salvage it for you and have it sent to your repair man. She always had a way with guns. You're pretty sure her sexuality is somehow related to it. She's never been with a man or even a woman for that matter in all the years you've known her but she sleeps with that damned pistol EVERY. FUCKING. NIGHT. It's absolutely bonkers, could a piece of cold metal ever feel as good as a real... You call Calvin to see if the gun is finished with repairs and wipe the drool from your mouth. Come on, have some damn poise, ya lazy little wart. He doesn't pick up. You text his cell. He doesn't reply. What is this witchery? You have to

[] make your flight. Fuck the gun, you'll buy a new one later.
[] go see if Calvin's okay. Someone might have stolen your gun.
[] leave now, they're after you.

 

[x] make your flight. Buy a new gun later.

 

[] go see if Calvin's okay. Someone might have stolen your gun.

 

Spoiler

Those cuntwankers are in for it, you're going to rain your own burning, lead filled brand of hell on those b-- You know what? It's fine. But then again... Calvin is a good resource. You're not gonna find another repair man whose as good at his job and other things as him. No! No. You don't need a pity gun. Because that's what the Dragunov is now, a sign of that bitch looking down on you. Well, you don't need it. You're going to make your flight with time to spare. Good job, you. Hell, you're going to get there with time to spare and look like a perfect, sweet little angel. You can almost feel that halo glowing above your pretty little head already, damn you're good. You change into a set of clothes matching your packed set and leave your house.

Not much happens on the way to the airport. Some bum tries to cop a feel, you crack him good with your elbow and tell him not to bother. You're way out of his league. He rubs his cranium with confusion and scurries off like a rat. Maybe you just look more like a quiet victim stereotype in these clothes... Bugger that. No way you're turning back now. You've arrived at Calvin's workshop. Okay, maybe you do care about him a bit. You have extra time. It'll be in and out, everything outside even looks fine. You

[] had better check again, people can be sneaky little rats if they put their pea brains to it.
[] walk in the front like normal. Play it casual.
[] Walk straight by. PITY GUN! DON'T NEED!

 

[] had better check again, people can be sneaky little rats if they put their pea brains to it.

 

[x] had better check again, people can be sneaky little rats if they put their pea brains to it.