It's December 21st 2012

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by Jube, Jan 16, 2012.

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  1. Jube Formerly Chuck's

    Joined:
    May 6, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Guess
    633
    1,193
    And the predictions were true, the world is nearly destroyed after a devastating meteor strike.
    Cinvilzaiton is scattered, resources are sparse and the only tool you have to help you survive is this...
    http://thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi

    What is it?
    How will it help you?
     
    Jube, Jan 16, 2012
    Jube, Jan 16, 2012
    #1

  2. Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Location:
    Moe, Victoria
    1,258
    878
    It's a waffle iron that hums incessantly!
    Guess I'm making human flavored waffles tomorrow.
     
    Jiku Neon, Jan 16, 2012
    Jiku Neon, Jan 16, 2012
    #2

  3. Krown King's Apprentice

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Location:
    Candy Land
    55
    456
    Kingdom Hearts

    Kingdom Hearts is a fridge magnet that's only visible under ultraviolet light! It can be taken apart and reassembled in thirty seconds and has a built-in calculator.

    What is this sorcery?    ​
     
    Krown, Jan 16, 2012
    Krown, Jan 16, 2012
    #3

  4. Te Deum Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Gender:
    Male
    536
    680
    It's a skateboard that blocks UV light and records memos.

    Totally want this.


    And I typed in Sora...

    Sora is like a normal letter-opener, but it can go from 0 to 60mph in three seconds.


    And Keyblade...

    Keyblade is a briefcase that makes money fast! It looks like a pot-plant.


    And...

    Fuck is a bar of soap that self-replicates and counts your loose change.
     
    Te Deum, Jan 16, 2012
    Te Deum, Jan 16, 2012
    #4

  5. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2011
    Location:
    The Matinée
    1,207
    1,516
    It's a jetpack! It can play the trumpet!

    It will allow me to get away from society and may earn me money and favors if I play it for people.
     
    Makaze, Jan 16, 2012
    Makaze, Jan 16, 2012
    #5

  6. Misty gimme kiss

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2006
    Gender:
    Cisgender Female
    Location:
    alderaan
    6,590
    9,106
    Shelter :v
     
    Misty, Jan 16, 2012
    Misty, Jan 16, 2012
    #6

  7. Patman Bof

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    France
    672
    1,537
    It' s a computer mouse that floats in water! It records memos and plays the American national anthem.
    It won' t. I discard it immediately and start searching for items that could actually be useful.
     
    Patman, Jan 16, 2012
    Patman, Jan 16, 2012
    #7

  8. Lite The Future

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Enby
    386
    1,068
    What is it?

    It's a hearing aid that recites haiku and is powered by a single hamster.

    Will it help?

    The hearing aid: No
    The hamster: Possibly...
     
    Lite, Jan 16, 2012
    Lite, Jan 16, 2012
    #8

  9. Arch Mana Knight

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Anywhere
    2,430
    4,602
    It's a knife that fetches sticks and is water-absorbent.

    Knife for hunting, sticks for firewood, and water-absorbent just for the hell of it. I know something like that is actually quite practical.
     
    Arch, Jan 16, 2012
    Arch, Jan 16, 2012
    #9

  10. Spike H E R O

    Joined:
    May 12, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Some pub in Montreal
    460
    1,497
    What is it? It's an armband that keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks, cures all known illnesses and has a built-in motion sensor.

    Will it help? You tell me.
     
    Spike, Jan 16, 2012
    Spike, Jan 16, 2012
    #10

  11. . : tale_wind Ice to see you!

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Cisgender Male
    Location:
    The Realm of Sleep
    3,754
    2,848
    It's a t-shirt! IT'S UNBREAKABLE!

    Well, as long as I'm wearing it, no one can stab or shoot my upper torso! :D
     
    . : tale_wind, Jan 16, 2012
    . : tale_wind, Jan 16, 2012
    #11

  12. Te Deum Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Gender:
    Male
    536
    680
    /retrying

    It's a fusebox that can only be operated by a trained professional, has a mind of its own and traps mice in a humane fashion.

    No...



    It's a burglar alarm that operates on a quantum level and smells of flowers.

    No...



    It's a shower head! It moulds to fit its user!

    Moulds?



    It's a strain of bacteria! It can easily be recycled!

    Well no shit Sherlock...



    It's a new type of vegetable that fires plastic darts! It slices vegetables.

    A vegetable that slices vegetables.

    INCEPTION



    It's a suppository that doesn't need batteries, is laced with vodka and can be taken apart and reassembled in thirty seconds.

    Well if my ass itches, I'm covered.



    It's a teddybear that contains the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica and changes colour to reflect your mood.

    THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS



    It's like a normal letter-opener, but it clamps to your wrist.

    Weapon :lolface:
     
    Te Deum, Jan 17, 2012
    Te Deum, Jan 17, 2012
    #12

  13. Pinekaboo Chaser

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2011
    Gender:
    Female
    1,389
    1,166
    ...not sure if useful.

    Showerhead that takes photos of people while they shower?!
    WHY DIDN'T I HAVE THIS BEFORE?!
     
    Pinekaboo, Jan 17, 2012
    Pinekaboo, Jan 17, 2012
    #13

  14. Nate_River Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2007
    Gender:
    sneakynandossexual
    Location:
    1942
    2,020
    704
    You use it to pleasure yourself.



    "It's a pair of shoes that uses captured Martian technology and talks."

    If it tells me how to survive, I'm okay with this. Otherwise I'm ****ed.
     
    Nate_River, Jan 17, 2012
    Nate_River, Jan 17, 2012
    #14

  15. Feenie Finny, Fin of the Feenie Fish

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Aberdeen, Scotland
    405
    1,170
    Useless.

    lolwat. I'm a human lie detector? Mmkay.

    Okay now I know something is wrong.
     
    Feenie, Jan 17, 2012
    Feenie, Jan 17, 2012
    #15

  16. LostMemory Destiny Islands Resident

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Location:
    Wutai, Gaia
    6
    56
    Mikki

    Mikki is a toothbrush that looks like a fish! It has been featured in Star Trek and catches small fish.

    How did it know?! :O
     
    LostMemory, Jan 17, 2012
    LostMemory, Jan 17, 2012
    #16

  17. miaulement Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Location:
    The Nether
    28
    162
    ... Hells yeah!
     
    miaulement, Jan 17, 2012
    miaulement, Jan 17, 2012
    #17

  18. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In your breadbin
    2,762
    3,070
    "It's like a normal energy drink, but it folds away when not in use."

    Well, I feel useful...
     
    Ienzo, Jan 17, 2012
    Ienzo, Jan 17, 2012
    #18

  19. Midnight Star Master of Physics

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2009
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    983
    753
    It's a rubber fish that walks on three mechanical legs! It can be implanted into the arm and will not work outside of the UK.

    Okay then... At least I live in the UK.
     
    Midnight Star, Jan 17, 2012
    Midnight Star, Jan 17, 2012
    #19

  20. Bushy "Don't think. Imagine!"

    Joined:
    May 27, 2008
    Gender:
    Male,
    Location:
    On the other side of the internet.
    750
    1,311
    "It's a pair of roller-skates that shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger, is perfectly safe to use and never gets tired."

    Wow, just what I need... a pair of skates that will shout WARNING every second because we'll be in danger all the time since the world would be ending.

    ...I could do that much. for a price *shot*
     
    Bushy, Jan 17, 2012
    Bushy, Jan 17, 2012
    #20
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