You are a 25 year old squeaky clean virgin who's never so much as held hands with a member of the opposite sex. Until recently you never gave it much thought, but it being your birthday and your parents' recent interest in your life, it's all become a little more real and present danger to you. You look across the table of your apartment from the birthday cake (bought by you) and the candles (placed by you) with the plates stacked next to it (unneeded) to your phone (silent) and sigh (heavily). You already knew your friends were going to flake out on you again. You realized it when they called a few hours ago saying they might be late because of.. you actually had stopped listening to their excuse. This is normal. This has been happening since they all paired off and got hitched. This is normal. You look from the birthday cake (untouched) and the candles (thankfully unlit) with the plates stacked next to it (just put them away already) to your phone (it might just be dead) and sigh (resignedly). This is normal. It's getting late. Well, you're going to be alone tonight. Again. Might as well...  Have some cake.  Put everything away and fire up your battle station.  Put everything away and go outside.  Put everything away and go to sleep.