Your Funniest Moments

<<me, my sis, and my cousin at wal-mart>>

cousin (on the phone with his friend): wow, u wont believe how much stuff i got in my pockets.

*faint mumblings from the person on the phone*

cousin: yeah, i got that 5-fingered discount

me: wow, that amp looks just small enough to fit in ur pocket.
---------------------------------------------------------------

<<me and cheal in cartooning class>>

me: ACHOO!!

cheal: bless you

me: dont say that!

cheal: oh yeah, i forgot u worshipped satan

me: oww, it burns

cheal: what burns?

me: i sneezed in my eye

cheal: how'd u do that?

me: i dont know, especially when i have glasses on

 

Once in 4th grade, we were reading a book on Pennsylvania history, and I was in my own little La-la-land, until my teacher asked me to read. I thought that a town named 'Cumberland' was 'Cucumberland'. It was really funny.

 

Once I was in ma RE class and this happened:

Kyle (me) = Look what a can do *smashes head off table* *silence and stares*

Friend = I think people noticed that...

Teacher = Kyle..... do you have problems?

Kyle - I....

Friend = Yes miss, he does he has short term memory loss....

Teacher = Is it contagious? (for a second we thought she was serious)

______________________________________________________________-

In Home Ec class

Kyle = *shouts OMG!! randomly*

Teacher = Whats wrong?

Kyle = *stares blanky for like 2 mins*

teacher = *reachs out towards me, saying my name*

Kyle = * I grab my seat and put in middle of classroom and just sit there going "OMG!! OMG!!*

then the bell rang

Kyle = *gets up* well time to go *leaves*

______________________________________________________________

Again in Home Ec class

Kyle = *sleeping through a video*

Friend 1 = KYLE!! WAKE UP!! *HITS ME ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD*

Kyle = what was that?

Teacher = Craig and Greger go an clean up in the Cooking room *They leave and I follow them*

Friends 2 & 3 = We're finished, miss

*I walk in*

Teacher = Kyle I didn't tell you to go and clean up

Kyle = I forgot

Teacher = Oh ok

______________________________________________________________

In Home Ec class once again ( but in Cooking room this time )

Kyle = *I jump up onto ledge type thing in middle of room*

Teacher = Kyle!! THIS ISN'T A YOUTH CLUB FOR DEMENTED TEENS!! GET DOWN FROM THERE!

Kyle = *mutters under breath* motherf***ing b**** I F***ing hate her!! HOW DARE SHE CALL ME DEMENTED!! SHE'S THE ONE THATS ******ED!!

Friend = eh Kyle you sed that the tiniest bit loud

Kyle = *turns round* *gets stared at* "Oh Sh**!!"

 

On msn with Darkwatch....


Darkwatch says:
*opens one and licks it happily*
Darkwatch says:
...
Darkwatch says:
wow it took me this long to realize how rediculous that sounded...
Mish says:
xDDDD!
Darkwatch says:
*Takes that out of context*
Darkwatch says:
Opens-licks-happy.
Darkwatch says:
o_o
Darkwatch says:
*die*

.........................
Harhar. Try and guess what we were talking about before Darkwatch went and said that. xD

 

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
I LOVE YOU!!

Darkwatch says:
Uhh...
o.o

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
i never had the guts to say it but I LOVE YOU
Darkwatch says:
Um...
I love you too?
O.O?????
*confused*

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
so... wanna help me make babies?
O_o

Darkwatch says:
Uhh...*inner sigh*
why?

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
because i love you
and i want a sports car
you idiot, buy me a diamond ring!

Darkwatch says:
Well the last time I did the store was out.
JC-pennies isn't that reliable.
I mean I baught this zip up sweater once...
I couldn't even FIND the zipper on it.
o.O

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
O_O
sue JCPenny

Darkwatch says:
I'm sueing, I'm sueing...
*Calls front desk*
":Hello?"
"yes...I'm looking to speak to the manager?"
"No...no this is not a prank call..."
"yes...er...no, we do not any free internets..."
"No we do-- just look, let me speak to the damn manager."
*Put on hold*
Damn elavator music...><

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
hehe

Darkwatch says:
"Oh yes?"
"Yes I was shopping the other day for a ring"
...
"How does virus protection have to do with jewelry?"
"LOok...i...no this is not a prank."
"NO..DONT HANG UP!!1"
"I said I AM NOT CAAAAALLING for that reason!"
"No y-..."
*click*
*looks at you*
IMMIGRANTS!

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
O_o
NUU!!!
runs back to Mexico

Darkwatch says:
D:
Not you.

Kairi ... I <3 Roxas <_<;; says:
oh
<_<;;

Darkwatch says:
The clerk was jamacian. ^ ^;

 

Wow, so many random MSN Convos (especailly ones with Kairi in it) XD
Here was a random convo i had with 2 friends last night

Craig (me also known as Dark): Dis with hid power of druel will try and conqueur the world with his empire called Legend of Fantasy on one person can stop him................................Featherman
Kraker (Friend): featherman?
Craig : ..............yes
Craig : Dis can't stand feathers
Kraker : o.o
Dis (other Friend): I like feathers
Craig : well i'm allergic to them
Craig : seriously
Dis: *points and laughs*
Craig : Well Kraker is allergic to...............................................YOU
Kraker : *slaps dis with a fish*
Dis: I found out I was allergic to your mum last night, dark
Craig : thats nice, i never knew my mum liked the annoying pervert kind
Kraker : dis cant handle all the excitement, his ***** blows up
Dis: How did you know

 

*Once when me and my friend Kyle, who is _riku_ btw

*Us talking about something*

Kyle: ..hey! Something just hit my head!
Me: Huh? What?
*we look behind us to see our friends Michael and Kerr
Michael:...Ummmm Sorry, I meant to hit Craigs shoe with the rock and I guess it bounced and hit your head
*Me and Kyle look at each other*
Me: Ok firstly, why the hell did try to hit my foot and secondly you got a terrible aim.
*We all laugh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<<another time walking to Lunch with my friends Daniel and Kyle>>

Danny: WEeeeeeeeeeee I can fly
Me: Ummmm...Ok, hey wheres Kyle?
Danny: Dunno
*we look behind us to see Kyle riding a lamp post*
Me&Danny: KYLE!!
Kyle: Ummmmm, you saw nothing, SAY IT!
Me&Danny: We.....Saw nothing...
*back at school everyone knows in like 5 minutes.

I have...Really odd friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*A free period where we should have been doing P.E but we had to go to a physics room instead*

*Me, my friends Ross, Craig and Gregor sitting a table, all of playing with our phones except Ross*

Craig: Smile Ross! *takes photo*
Ross: What The, hey delete that now.
Craig: *Hysterical laughing*
Me: Ummm?
Gregor:*Now laughing aswell*
*Craig bluetooths me the pic he took*
Me: *Now laughing aswell*
*The pic Craig took made Ross look as if he was wearing lipstick, a powdered face and eye liner*
ALL(except Ross): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<<5 minutes later in the same class>>

*Me playing with my phone now recording people*
(Everyone saying weird stuff)
Ross: Y'know Craig, I just wan--*falls off his chair, I have it on my phone and we all laugh*

 

Me and my Friend Andy at school.

Andy: 'Tis a beautiful life...
Me: ...meh...
*some minutes later*
Andy: Hey George, did you ever figure out the meaning of life?
Me: Oh yes, to be born and then die. :)
Andy: No...I mean...what IS it?
Me: F*** if I know...>__>
Andy: But then why'd you promise me the answer?
Me: Because you were crying on my shoulder, why do you think?
Andy: I told you never to speak of that again...
Me: *turns music louder*

 

im bio class waching a video about cane toads in australia(this was today)

guy on vid: i like the toasts i turn the light on to atract them sometimes we leave them some wiskets

ME (in my head):wait did he say wisket what is a wisket??(it is a biskit i think?)
guy on vid and you can hear the sound of them mating thats what i like the most!

Class:*loud burts of laughter*


another person in the video who goes out of his way to run the toads over

Guy: you know you have made a nice clean kill when the toad makes a poping nose kind of like a baloon

Class:thats disgusting


after seing toad eat a mouse

class:*startled faces*

Teacher: you should have seen the look on all of your faces!

girl in class; oh my god it just ate the mouse!!

it was VERYYYY interesting!!!

 

(As I was going to music class, my friend stopped in the hallway to walk with me)

Me: *Eyes bug out* What do you want?

---

(This was a really long time ago, fyi)

(Me, Element, and my sister were walking home from school)

Me: *Nudges Element to the side, she falls onto the ground, then my sister trips over her*

Me: BAHAHAHA! You guys suck!!!

---

(As I'm walking to Forgien Language, I see Element and our friend walking to their Forgien Language classes too)

Me: *Pokes Element in the spot where you're really spastic right under your rib*

Element: Nieek!

Me: *Starts laughing*

Element: I wasn't ready!

---

(Every Tuesday night, we go to Baskin Robins.)

Me: ICE CREAM!!!!!!!

Sister: Wtf?

Me: CHOCOLATE MILK!!!

Mom: ...!

Me: Yesss

Mom: Shut up!

Me, five seconds later: I'M A HORSEY!!! CHUD A BUMP CHUD A BUMP! NIEGGHH!!

Mom: She doesn't need any ice cream...

Me: I WANT MY ICE CREAM!!!

 

Hehehe.

Splendid and I were walking to French class one day...and I happened to push her. She attempted to push me back, but ended up hurting her shoulder really bad on the floor. It was really, really funny. ^_^

 

Okay, so there's this really gross kid our school. He just happens to be in this one.

(Me and Element are waiting for the bell to ring, and this really gross kid comes)

Me: (Talking about something dumb) Oh no! Here comes Ray!(gross kid)

Element: Don't breathe!

 

I have too many funny moments to remember, most are inside jokes. But here are a couple with my friends that just stick out the most...

---

[My friends Edie, Julie and I are watching Spiderman]

-MJ kisses Spiderman, who is upside down-

Edie: Look! She's eating his face. He'll have no lips. They'll be gone... He will be... LIPLESS SPIDERMAN!

Julie and Me: -stare- ...

-long silence-

Julie and Me: BWAHHAHAHAHA! XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

---

[During lunch at school]

Laura: Food. I love food. I could live off food.

Me: I could live off food too. 8D

---

[In chatroom, with my friends Izzy and Andy...]

Me: God, Izzy, you're such a whore.

Izzy: I know. I am.

Andy: ... ... ... >.> <.< >.> How much do you charge?

---

[During a writing class, my teacher left the room, so naturally, my friend Sara and I talk, then the teacher comes back and we go back to writing our short stories]

Me: Our conversation on Harry Potter, Liam Aiken, and what cell phone Cloud has got me so off track, I lost my train of thought in my story. So now I'm just ending it where it is.

Sara: -looks at my paper- Then you're ending it in the middle of a sentence...

Me: I know. Talk about cliffhanger ending. You don't even know the last couple words.

---

[...random sleepover at my friend's house 8D]

Julia: I like the moose... -pets my other friend's hippo plushie-

Me: It's a hippo, you ******.

---

[random conversation]

Edie's cousin: How do you know the light in the refridgerator really goes off?

Edie's mom: I guess it's just one of those things you have to believe in...

---

[During choir]

Veronica: 8D And this is the awesome Shanny. -points at me-

Me: -grins stupidly and nods- Uh-huh. 8DDD

---

[During writing competiton, with my friend Sara, who is the same Sara from the writing class...]

-There's a DJ and music for entertainment, and the Chicken Dance is on-

Me: I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my butt...

Sara: How does shaking your butt resolve the fact that you don't want to be any kind of poultry?

---

Yeaaaaah... those are some moments...

I'll like... remember the funnier ones later. xD; Probably in Study Hall. Where I will suddenly chuckle. And then get yelled at for laughing...

 

There was this one time between me and a friend on MSN.

JoN: Me
Sean: friend from school
Susan: friend from school
Flora: random girl
Wendy: random girl

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
are u and ean good friends or something?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
*sean

JoN says:
so and so

JoN says:
why do u ask?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
oh

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
i was wondering if u want to know hoo he lyks

JoN says:
no clue what so ever

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
i noe

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
do u want to know or not

JoN says:
ok

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
do u relli wanna know?

JoN says:
i guess...

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
yes or no!

JoN says:
yes

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
ok

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
um

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
well its complicated

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
so yeah

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
first in term 1

JoN says:
...its a love triangle?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
he lyked me

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
then

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
he lyked flora

JoN says:
okay...go on

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
then he was 2 timing which was flora and wendy

JoN says:
wait, how did u know he liked u, and flora?
JoN says:
and...WENDY?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
so love triangle

JoN says:
holy crap...

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
yaki told me

JoN says:
ah

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
she knows everything about him

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
yes

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
so ....

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
love triangle

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
with flora and wendy

JoN says:
i sure wasnt expecting that

JoN says:
do they know?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
then it bacame a love square

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
i noe flora knows

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
stop interuppting me'

JoN says:
ok...

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
qu after

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
ok

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
so becme love square

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
which was

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
flora, wendy

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
and

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
um

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
susan

JoN says:
O.O ...is this the part where I shout sean is...well, u know...or I just remain silent?

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
say it

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
yes?

JoN says:
HOLY F-CKING S-IT

MANNERS:continues to pick his nose SAM:crossdresser JON:H.M.H HENRY:The Ragger TONI:Frying Pan SUSAN:The(coff)...never mind says:
lol

 

This one happened recently

A proffessional poetry person had come to our class to give the most annoying lessons on poetry for ten days. At this point she was handing out books for us to look at. Denis is my friend.

Me: *cackling with denis at the disgusting poetry in the book we took*
Denis: holy sh**. I can't take this, let me rest for a little while.
Me: ok, on to the next page *sees a drawn picture of a man trying to suck his own *** with a poem about lettuce above it...* *SART ROFLING LIKE CRAAAAAAAAAZY and book flys out of my hand litteraly 1.5 seconds after i see the pic*

Denis: wtf? looks at book. HOLY ****.

*We laugh for the rest of the class like crazy and try to understand how someone like this author became a poet*

 

On a note, tied to a balloon we let loose after a pep rally at school: "Your balloon was molesting me, so I sent it back. *insert school phone number here*"

At lunch, randomly: "Ah! I'm covered in tree sperm!"

And all the random perverted conversations that we had at lunch. I miss high school. Our discussions included the number of holes in the human body, anatomically correct Barbie and Ken dolls, a Build-a-Broad, what the school food looked like and much more.

Oh! And I forgot, putting our friend Chris to bed this past weekend. We had to drag him into the bed and watch him until he stopped trying to get up. He'd been up for 73 hours when he finally went to sleep.

 

Ok this happend today- Me and my friend were disscussing bananas(dont ask) and all day i was like I WANT A BANANA!!!! and then in third period we had a sub and geuss what
He was eating a banana!

 

Element has an odd obsession with trying to prove I'm a fangirl (which I'm not!). And, I wanted my action figure that's supposed to come in. It came in today. =3

(Me and Element were in Study Hall)

Element: "So, ..., what're you gonna do when you're action figure comes in?"

Me: "Huggle it." =3

Element: "... Fangirl"

Me: "I'm not a fangirl!" >.>
---
My Friend: "..., who do you like?"

Me: "No one."

My friend: "Oh, come on! You have to like someone!"

Me: "Well, I don't."

Element: "She likes Sora."

Me: "Nu-Uh!"

My Friend: "C'mon, a real person you like?"

Element: "...'s 7 inch boyfriend"

Me: >.>

 

>_> *giggle*

Me and MIsty in study hall
-----------------------------------
Misty:*english howork* *starts laughing*
Element:Glares *starts luagh*
Study hall teacher: Wtf?

 

Well, I was at this casino, and this dude was african american, so I figured, "HEY, I can say his name" so I did and was like "XOBILE!" Because it was actually spelt "!XOBILE" and I thought you had to start BIG because the exclamation was at the start of the name. Because if it was a question mark I'd be like "Xoobiilee??" But it wasn't so I was like "XOBILE!". And so finally when I did it...


Me: !XOBILE...!!
Casino man: Please do not yell in the casino...
Me: Sorry man, I can't pronounce your name. ><
Casino man: That is not how you say my name.
Me: Alright fine, how do you say it?
Casino man: my name is pronounced... *tongue click*-elay.
Me: O_o...


After ward: HE HAD A CLICK IN HIS NAME!!!! *wants my first child to have an african name*

------------------

Cin and Sara on MSN ~

Cin says:
Epona's song ish ma favorite Zelda song
Cin says:
Du du du
Cin says:
Du du du
Meghan: Walls are round says:
Song of Time...
Cin says:
Du du du du du
Meghan: Walls are round says:
*thinks it's funny that's all Malon does all day*
Cin says:
Well
Cin says:
It was an old videogame
Cin says:
They couldn't make her do chores like they can now...:3
Cin says:
(Wonders if she'll be in this game)
Cin says:
Malon is my favorite female Zelda character
Meghan: Walls are round says:
Why? ARE YOU SAYING NINTENDO'S SEXIST?!
Cin says:
Course they're sexist