Yay a problem

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Magick, May 7, 2015.

  1. Magick ~Meaner then my demons~

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    Buckle up cuz this is about to get confusing.

    I used to work in a grocery store for almost two years. You meet some creepy people in grocery stores at night, but there was this one coworker I had. We'll call him D.

    D is slightly autistic, but he can still drive a car and hold a job. At first I didn't have a problem with him, but he started to become obsessive with me about two weeks after I started, calling me "his", putting his hand on my shoulder and checking when I would work. I talked to management about it but their efforts were minimal.

    After I quit, my new job opened a branch at the same grocery store I used to work at (my current job is a bank.)
    As my luck would have it he is a member and comes in every day he sees me working to make me do his transactions.

    My managers are nonexistent and his managers refuse to address his behavior, which has caused other girls to quit. I feel that I can't be rude to him because he's a customer now but it has gotten to the point where I hide if I hear him coming so he doesn't think anyone is around. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
     
  2. Meilin Lee RPG (Red Panda Girl)

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    I don't know if this is a bit extreme, but have you tried talking to the police about this. I wish I can think of a better solution, but if managers seriously can't do anything, your options are kind of limited.
     
  3. Misty gimme kiss

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    I think the better question is, have you spoken to him? It seems you've attempted to go through management, both at your new and old jobs, but they did little about it. It's possible they didn't speak to him at all. Many autistic people struggle to pick up on social cues, like that you're not interested in him and want him to back off. If you're uncomfortable doing it in person, a Facebook message or something explaining that you're not into him and establishing some boundaries (like that there are other people working in the bank that can help him) could go a long way.
     
  4. Magick ~Meaner then my demons~

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    I've done it before when he started putting his hand on my shoulder and he backed off on the physical contact but he won't stop the other activities. I've also told him that it makes me uncomfortable when he stares but he continues to do so.
     
  5. Explode Who?!

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    Is he going in just to see you, or does he actually have other business there? Sorry, I wasn't totally clear on the situation.

    If you feel like he could be potentially dangerous, you should report him. If you're on the fence about it and you don't want to totally burn that bridge, see if you can learn more about him. If he has an attendant, or someone in his family that you can talk to. See if he has any sort of history. But if your gut is telling you he's dangerous, better to err on the side of caution.

    If there's no danger, there may not be much you can (comfortably) do about it. Everyone has people in their life that they may not want there. Until you change jobs (or request to be transferred to another branch?) you might have to make the best of it. Be honest with him about things that bother you, without being hurtful of course. As Misty said, a lot of people with Autism don't pick up on subtlety or sarcasm, but they can also be extremely sensitive, so there's an especially fine line you'll have to walk to avoid upsetting them. It depends on the person, but If you bottle up your resentment until you end up shouting at them, it could be a traumatic experience for them.

    Hope it works out for you :)