What is it you find attractive in a guy/girl?

Appearance
-I like a guy who takes good care of himself and is healthy looking and not sickly
-Green eyes and dark brown hair is a plus~
-I would like a guy that is taller than me (at least taller than 5'6")
-I really can't stand those really buff guys that look like they have no necks, it's just gross looking and not attractive at all
-Tattoos are sexy as hell especially those tattoos that cover the arm
-I really don't mind most piercings but nipple piercing are pretty nasty lol :c
-And I also love guys who have a nice smile (:

Personality
-Sarcastic and witty
-Has to be pretty easy going
-Intelligent
-Can't be a hardcore party monster who gets shitfaced every chance he gets (huge turn off for me)
-Smoking is gross
-Has a pretty decent taste in music (doesn't have to have the exact same taste as me)
-Honest and doesn't lie to me all the time
-Doesn't let everyone push him around and will defend me if I'm in trouble
-Has a nerdy side

These are just some things off the top of my head. The guy doesn't need all of these things but a few of them would be nice.

 

Appearance

Just no major deformities, and not for attractiveness' sake...I'd just feel really bad for them, even though I know they wouldn't want to be treated any differently, my heart would ache constantly for them and I couldn't be in a relationship where I constantly sympathized for someone. ; ;

Other than that, I really don't care much. I don't think appearance matters, PERSONALLY FOR MYSELF, because my mind doesn't work in that "omg he's so hot" way. I don't really see the attractiveness or unattractiveness of someone until I know them. If someone's a jerk, I honestly think they're ugly. And if I like the person, I think they're handsome. Being that way, when I'm with someone I DO think they're hot no matter what. xD

Personality

Funny. I've always liked funny men, men who could make me giggle easily and who knew what made me laugh and AREN'T AFRAID TO LAUGH TOO. I hate guys who think they're too cool to laugh at my jokes and do that gay chuckle thing that makes it obvious they're hiding a "HAHA" back. Just laugh!

Sweet. I'm a big sucker for compliments and snuggly "I love you more" moments. I like to see that a guy can open up enough to feel comfortable around me being romantic. I don't need expensive things, but even a note passed in class or something with a heart on it makes me happy. xD

Manly. Though I like him to have a soft side, I've always loved a man. I get so tired of these guys who start crying "oh my gawd, I thought you loved me and then i saw your 'hey.' facebook message with that guy. who's that Aron guy, huh? You whore, i knew you were cheating on me *hyperventilation/tears* how could you?!" So annoying. If something's wrong, sit down with me and talk about it. And don't run away like a pussy, I hate that. If something's wrong and I confront you, DON'T RUN AWAY. just be honest with me.

Trustworthy. If I'm doubting you every second you're away, or I can't look you in the eyes without feeling like you're hiding something from me, I can't be with you. They need to be trustworthy. And not like "oh, lets get together and see if you can trust me." way. More like, I already know I can trust you with my life and there's no faltering in that.

Loyal. Someone who will defend me over anyone and always be by my side. Someone I can always go to if I need, even if we're in the middle of an argument. Someone who won't even ditch me or chose someone over me or stop fighting for me over something ******ed.

Smart. Someone who's smart and actually take education seriously. It gets on my nerves when someone's smart and yet thinks school's stupid and gets really low grades just because they're lazy.

Open-minded. I don't really like guys who are as stubborn and opinionated as I am about things and won't budge. It's one thing to believe in something, which is attractive, it's another to be intolerant of other people's opinions and deny facts and evidence that proves what you claim as "fact" wrong. xD

Tolerant. Not just of opinions but of me. xD I'm into a lot of things most guys aren't. If you can tolerate me and support what I like as well, big turn on. And I'll gladly do the same for him. You don't have to be an anime nerd like me, but if you can tolerate sitting down and watching and episode of Jigoku Shoujo with me a Saturday night then maybe I'll watch a football game with you sometime if you're into that. That kind of thing.

Turn offs

Overly-shallow. I hate it when guys are like "I like you because you're hot." It's like. "Yeah? And...?"

Intolerance. I hate it when people go around telling other's that their opinions are wrong. Just shut up if you don't like it, there's no need to be rude.

Disrespectful. Even if you're the sweetest guy in the world to ME, if you disrespect your teachers or parents or other people in a major way then it'll turn me off completely.

Overly-perverted/sexual. I really don't mind the occasional joking around when it's with ME. But when it gets to the point that you're going around with every girl flirting and making sexual comments, it really hurts me and I end up loving you a lot less for the simple fact that you aren't being loyal.

Incredibly lazy. To the point of sitting around doing NOTHING all day everyday. To the point that you can't send me a text with more than a sentence, or talk to me when we're on the phone, or reply to my emails. That's a huge turn off. Even if you aren't looking for a job (depending on your age and what you do at school), it bugs me a bit. And if you have zero ambition, no goals and don't want to do anything with your life. It's annoying and pathetic. (Still, depending on age. It bothers me if you're a senior and aren't doing anything. If you're younger than that then I don't mind as much, I think you should be a kid for as long as you can but there's a time to grow up.)

Eh. I think I'll just stop now before i write another five pages.​

 

I'd never thought about this too much, but my opinion is...

Love.

Love can clear imperfections.
Love can purify.
Love can change perspectives.
Love can overlook.
Love can exude true beauty.

If there's love, then everything will fall into place. It can happen that when we least expect it, love comes in the strangest of ways, and even when it's not what we expect, we still accept it in the end.

 

I can't think of many physical characteristics, haha. Controlled hair (not too long, urgh), tall, and I like a kind of geeky/preppy style. And I don't know why, but blonde hair just seems gross on guys to me, lol.

As for personality, just someone I get along with. I suppose just a good sense of humor, not one that's overly self-deprecating or asshole-y, even if it's a classhole thing going on.

Oh yeah, and their name has to sound right with mine. xD That's just an OCD thing.

 

One more:
I like someone who i can lay down on the couch, hold in my arms, and watch TV with. I don't care what we're watching, but I just love that. It's like Heaven to me.
Also one more:
I like someone who'll buy me little things once in a while. Anything, even like a bag of sunflower seeds or something without me asking. When she just thinks about me when I'm not around, and she shows it in that way...I just LOVE that.

Also, turn offs:
-short lesbian looking hair
-too much makeup
-fake eyelashes(i hate this so much)
-Plaid shirts(Seriously, this is just disgusting to me.)
-Overly liberal(I can respect her views, but if she's going to bug me about it all the time, go away.)
-OMG SAVE THE RAINFOREST
-OMG SAVE X ENDANGERED ANIMAL/Member of PETA
-Obsessed with Twilight(I don't care if she just likes it, but some people are ****ing crazy about this book.)
-stares at other guys right in front of me(I don't care what she does when I'm not around.)
-Spends all of her ****ing money on clothes.
-Has like a 500 dollar purse
-Headstrong feminist
-????
-Profit.

 

/half my wardrobe

Also, I forgot to mention this (plus I want to make this post not-spam), but I like big Buddy Holly style glasses on a guy. :B

 

Appearance
Shorter than me(i am in luck, i am 6'3"), average hair length for a girl, As Jayn stated, no major deformities, i don't mean to be shallow. That's really all, not much to it for me.

Personality
Not shallow
Smart
Must be a gamer girl, i have dated a non-gamer girl before, it never really worked.
Loyal

That's really all I've got.


​

 

seriously. most guys I know are maybe just over 5 feet ><​

 

Long list time.

Physical:
Tall. Hug -> face in boobs is not okay.
Dark hair. At least brown... I've never really liked blond guys. And hair has to be in good condition, not greasy or really mussed up. And it must be soft <3 Hair length all depends upon the rest of the person. Some can pull off long hair, some short.
Striking eyes. It doesn't really matter what color they are as long as they catch my attention.
Contagious smile
Muscular but thin, not burly
Hands. I think I have a hand fetish, because often the first thing I like about a guy is his handshake. Strong, not clammy, nails aren't bitten. Piano hands ftw.

Personality:
Intelligent. Intelligentintelligentintelligent. I must be able to carry on a normal conversation with him.
Outgoing and confident. Someone who isn't afraid to make a fool of himself in public, who values fun over the social norm, and who can bring life to most any situation. Spontaneous.
Good sense of humour. And tasteful, please. I enjoy a well-executed perverted joke, but not turning everything into an innuendo
Thoughtful, not overprotective. Someone who will get me a pack of gum once in a while, or who will carry some books for me. Nothing much, but little things make all the difference. Loving may seem like a durr, but... loving. Someone I can hold hands with and curl up on the couch next to.
Likes the same music/movies/games as I do
Dislikes the same
Able to quote from movies and other obscure references
Trustworthy
Has other friends that he hangs out with, but is able to make time for someone else
To the point, without being rude. I don't like it when anyone bends around the truth for the sake of flattery, or when they don't say something because they think no one would want to hear it. And I'm extremely indecisive, so I love decisive people xD

 

Okay let's see..

looks:
-He has GOT to have great hair, I prefer a fohawk but to be honest, I love grabbing the hair behind the back of their heads, close to the neck..great amounts of hair in there: HOOOOOT.
-I am a sucker for green eyes.yum yum..and brown eyes are nice too.
-A guy either taller than me or just about the same height as me, I'm pretty tall and it will downright suck if the guy were to be smaller than me..haha. Height doesn't matter though but still..
- Big arms/hands..not bulky though, just about right.
- Facial hair please. I LOVE caressing a man's face with facial hair..besides, it looks hot.
- and of course, a lovely smile.
- ALSO. GREAT SMELL. I LIKE ME MEN WEARING SEXY COLOGNE. YUMYUM.

personality:

- definetly out going.
- spontaneous
- adventurous :) I want him to at least take me to places i've never been or always wanted to go, be a little wild!
- determined in his goals
- smart..gugh a guy with brains..yum.
- he has GOT to have geekyness x3 I find it adorable when a guy explains to me his geeky stuff.
-great sense of humor..someone needs to keep up with me! and a little sarcasm wouldn't hurt haha.
- aaand a laid back guy is good as well.
-not a complete sexist *******.
- not the jealous type..okay it's cute when you just say "who is that guy HUH?!" in a joking way..but please,don't go all psycho boyfriend on me.
- he has got to have his own buddies too. Also, not a cingly type please. ._.-last but not least..a guy who loves me just the way I am.



..yuuuuup ..that is about it.

 

Am I the only one who thought of Bridget Jones? xD

 

Read: don't expect me to change for my lover.

Popular media has overused the phrase "love me just the way I am" since the dawn of time. And why shouldn't it? It basically tells you that love means you can kick back and wait for the right person to arrive, and that everything's supposed to be smooth sailing when they do. No wonder it's popular.
People who look for someone who "accepts them the way they are" or "loves them for the way they are" actually reveal their unwillingness to change for the one they supposedly gave their heart to. Is that true love, I wonder?

A word of advice to all who would heed it: don't accept ready-made ideas about love like the one above without at least trying to untangle their meaning yourself. There's often a lot to look past.

 

Oh God, this.
If I met someone who I really loved, I'd definitely change for them as much as it takes for us to both be happy.

 

Except for the fact that you can't always change certain things. Appearance, for one.

And if the person fell in love with me for who I am, and vice versa, why change?
Also, how is it your decision to tell people what's right or wrong to look for?

Anyway, for me it's personality, interests, sense of humor, supportive, and someone that does love me for who I am. I was somehow lucky enough to find all this in a certain guy, and I honestly have never been happier.

 

Does the simple fact that some things cannot be changed mean that my point is invalid? Of course it doesn't. But thanks for being someone who I can give this year's "no shit, Sherlock" award to anyway.

Because the features you fall in love with aren't necessarily the ones you'll end up loving.
Because your mommy didn't warn you about those painful surprises that may come after a year or so for the hell of it.

Falling in love with someone doesn't mean that you know all the ins and outs of your crush. Often you end up with more than you bargained for, and your relationship may even require effort to keep alive. I think you know this to be true as well as I do. One can't help but wonder why you brought it up then, but I'm sure you have your reasons.

Ah you see, your little "what gives you the right?" grumble would have made sense if I had been giving orders or had used any other form of coercion. However I did not. I merely gave advice and opinions, which as I recall is still legal in whatever state you live in.






Anyone else up for questioning a generally accepted truth?

 

I have to agree with some thing you said styx but what I was really refering to was apperance, like wolfie pointed out clearly.

 

Well, that's another story. I thought you were incorporating personality and appearance alike. I guess what I said isn't applicable to you then.
Appearance can be changed to a certain extent I guess, but I don't think love should require you to do so. It's supposed to go beyond the physical aspect (although it can be just that what attracts you to your future lover in the beginning).

 

Well, there are some things the person should love the way they are, or at least for the sake of love accept them. Like for example, there are aspects of appearance which I cannot change.

Adding to that, there are also some personal aspects a person should not ask you to change, unless they somehow are devastating enough for a relationship(drugs, alcohol, ect.)

Love isn't merely a feeling. The love you feel for a person is what makes you wish to change-albeit, good changes-and try and be a better person. It also makes you accept the differences and defects of another person. Love in it's truest form, in a relationship works, because they both give, and out of the same love they also receive. Love in reciprocation is what makes relationships work.

Sometimes you will have to sacrifice and fight to keep things afloat, and that's where love comes in.

"I love him, and therefore I will..."

"I love her, and that's why I must..."

We've all heard these, and in a way they explain what I'm trying to convey.

@Wolf & Styx:

You guys clash too much. And yes, I know you guys may say something along the lines of : "I was merely...", well tergiversating things still lead to some crude results. Consideration may be at order.

 

Lol I love how this topic was just about what we find attractive and everyone pretty much described their perfect person.

 

Sorry, what? This is the first time I've posted in a serious discussion recently, let alone respond to Styx.
It's my opinion, you don't like it, that's not my problem. But I'm not about to sit around and apparently get the "No Shit Sherlock" of the year award, as Styx so kindly put it.
There is a physical aspect of me that I can never change, which is why yes, it was rather important to me that the person I love does love me for who I am.