Things Your Mom Would Never Say to You

1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
2. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
3. Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another week.
4. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
5. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
6. Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
7. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.
8. Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
9. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
10. Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.

 

11. Why don't you add me on Facebook?
12. Oh, it's okay f you don't do your chores, I'll just do them when I get back from work.
13. I'm gonna go to the bar, you want anything?
14. If you need some money, I'll give you some.
15. You can just stay home from school; you need your sleep.