The Scientist

Discussion in 'Archives' started by MadDoctorMaddie, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. MadDoctorMaddie I'm a doctor, not a custom title!

    Apr 19, 2008
    Med Bay
    TITLE: The Scientist
    AUTHOR: TheOnly9one/Divine_Lunatic
    GENRE: Song-fic, humor
    SONG: The Scientist by Coldplay
    SUMMARY: Yeah, I know, 'wtf, Vexen song-fic???? DX'. I had that reaction too when I got the initial idea.
    CHARACTERS: Vexen, a little of Lexaeus. Some of the rest of the Org. VERY briefly.
    WARNING: This fic contains a profound lack of interpreting symbolism, an even more profound lack of understanding chemistry, and lyrics taken way too literally. This fic isn't meant to be taken seriously, under any circumstances. Maybe some OOC:ness, depending of how you see the character xDx
    DISCLAIMER: THEY'RE ALL MINE, MINE I TELL YOU!!!!! *is carted away by men in white and a lawyer leaves the message "Not hers." behind*
    A/N: Well, this turned out a bit different than planned xD Oh well. I had fun. Hope you do too.

    The Scientist​

    Come up to meet you
    tell you I'm sorry
    You don't know how lovely you are.

    The Chilly Academic stormed into his laboratory, muttering to himself, "Oh, the nerve some of those brats have! Thinking that my experiments are drinks, ordering me around like an underling... And that good-for-nothing leader of ours, having absolutely no control here!" His tirade went on, as Demyx, Marluxia and Xemnas all heard exactly what Vexen thought of them. Or rather would've heard, had they been there.

    Still fuming he went to the cupboard where he kept his chemicals. "But not to worry, my loves, now we have all the time we need..." he mumbled to one of the bottles, emitting a high-pitched cackle.

    I had to find you
    tell you I need you
    and tell you I set you apart.

    Frowning to himself, Vexen noticed that he had taken the wrong bottle. He started rummaging through the cupboard, and one walking past the laboratory could've heard some interesting noises. "Now now, come back to me, dear!" Crash. "Ooh, you're one sneaky little fellow, aren't you?" Clunk, thump, bonk. "Ouch, how did you get there?" Rummage, rummage, crash, rummage. "Ah! There you are, my beauty..."

    Tell me your secrets
    and ask me your questions
    Oh let's go back to the start.

    He walked over to a cup of something green brewing on the lab table. Crouching down, he poured a cup purple liquid into another bottle, and set it too on the heater. Now all he could do was wait... No! He could start mixing more chemical, albeit not as important ones... Yes, the green-purple chemical mixture came first... But he had some free time now. He could play around. Each new experiment would give new answers... But at the same time, they would just ask a new question...

    Running in circles
    coming in tails
    heads on a science apart.

    He walked in circles around the room, as he pondered what would be useful for him to do. What would be useful for a scientist to do.

    Nobody said it was easy
    It's such a shame for us to part
    Nobody said it was easy
    but no-one ever said it would be this hard.

    Absent minded, he made his way back to the cupboard. Maybe he'd just toy around with things. He was experienced enough to not cause an accident, wasn't he?

    He grabbed three bottles randomly (gold, red and a silver liquid could be found inside them). Quickly glancing at the labels, he unscrewed them, and poured the gold and silver things into a same bottle. He handled the red stuff a bit more carefully, as it could light up if used callously. Vexen set his forearm on the table to steady himself, and began sloooooowwwwllllllyyyyyy dribbling the liquid. One drop. Two drops. Three dr–Boom.

    Oh take me back to the start.

    Lexaeus was walking in the corridors coming out of the gym. Unfazed by the sounds of explosion, he poked his head through the lab door. Half of Vexen's hair was ignited, there were no eyebrows to be spoken of, and his face was charred with strange reddish ash. "Help?" Lexaeus asked quietly. Vexen 'humped', and nodded, "A fire-extinguisher would be appropriate."

    I was just guessing
    the numbers and figures
    pulling the puzzles apart.

    Now Vexen was rattled by his failure. What could've caused him, an expert in chemistry, make such a bad mistake? He grabbed a piece of paper, and started scribbling different formulas and equations, all the while giving an occasional mutter and high-pitched laugh.

    Questions of science–
    science and progress–
    Don't speak as loud as my heart.

    He felt a strange rush spread from the pit of his stomach, through his chest, and then to his head, making him feel giddy and exited. What he didn't realize that the original two chemicals had long since started to boil, creating a toxic fume. His equations got more and more silly, but he didn't realize that. He was completely intoxicated by said fumes and head over heels about his CALCULATIONS!!!

    Tell me you love me
    then come back and haunt me
    oh when I rush to the start.

    The sound of sizzling was coming from somewhere in the lab, Vexen couldn't tell where. Puzzled, he began twisting and turning, trying to locate the new distraction.

    Running in circles
    chasing our tails
    Coming back as we are.

    After a while of futile searching, Vexen decided that the sound was just somebody's... errr, Nobody's tea-pot boiling over. Despite the fact that the kitchens were located 5 levels above. He took a glance at his paper work, suddenly noting how the equations were simply perfect. He let out yet another gleeful laugh, as he made his way back to the chemicals. Again, he mixed the gold and silver liquid, and then dribbled exactly two and a half drops of the red liquid in. The mixture turned black.

    "YES!!! I HAVE CREATED...." Vexen checked his notes, "FIRE!!!! DARK FIRE!!!! NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!"

    Well, everyone knows what happens when this line is uttered.

    Nobody said it was easy
    It's such a shame for us to part
    Nobody said it was easy
    but no-one ever said it would be this hard.

    During his dance of joy, the hand holding 'fire' came in contact with the heater. With the over boiled green and purple chemicals on it. Yelping in pain, he dropped his newest creation, which tipped over, splashing the other two bottles, and knocking them all on the ground.


    I'm going back to the start.

    The second explosion caused a far smaller reaction in the castle's lounge than the first one. No-one fell off their couch (Demyx), and no-one got distracted enough to reveal their poker cards (Luxord and Xigbar). No-one looked up from their book (Zexion, of course), and no-one paused their sword-polishing and looking important (Saïx). Lexaeus, however looked over to the entrance, where a extremely confused looking Vexen was emerging from. "Fire-extinguisher?" was the only thing he asked.

    Hope ya liked it, I'm addicted to reviews, and constructive criticism is always welcome. So doooo iiiiitttttttt, you know you wanna 8D
  2. In explicit Angst Gummi Ship Junkie

    May 18, 2008
    Hidden in a messy room
    This was pretty good. I loved the ending. It was really funny xD