The girl I love is with someone else

First let me echo the sentiments of those who posted before me in stating that breaking up this girl's relationship is a bad idea. This is not a tv show where if in you break them up then she'll come to you as a rebound. Hell, would you even want to be considered a rebound? I sure wouldn't. But it's more than likely that she'll never want to see you again when she finds out it was you that broke them up in the first place.

Secondly, this one is not the only girl in the world. Let her go. You might find another girl who likes you and then it'll be happily ever after. But you'll never know because you're still emotionally attached to a girl who is in a relationship already. And you're making yourself look like a desperate stalker at that. Your opening post just gave off that vibe with 'she belongs to me'.

 

It sounds like it's your life problems that are affecting you with the girl you like, then.

Have you tried talking to a trusted relative or friend or seeing a counselor?

 

If you would do anything for her, then you would let her date whoever she wants not matter how much it hurts you.

 

I feel that I have no one I can trust, mostly everyone I meet talks behind my back, mostly because I have an odd voice, I don't fit in, etc, etc. I feel that with my friend that I love, she has never done that to me, she told me that one time she would never talk behind my back.

 

Everyone has a reason for acting poorly--it doesn't make it okay. It's understandable, if someone has a history or other things affecting them, but it's still not okay. Everyone's past shapes who they are today, and trust me, you're not the only one with that's been through ****. This section alone has tons of stories of people who have endured really terrible things. But they don't take it out on the people they care about, and if they do, I'm sure they regret it. Don't give people a reason to call you these things.

 

Psychonautsmaster. Honestly? I feel like you need to understand she might not like you in that way, alright? She's with someone now. She sounds like a fantastic friend, congratulations. But the very fact that you would break her and someone she loves up means that although you love her, you might not nescesarily care about her feelings.

 

No man, it's the other girl from the block. I think he means her, and he's pretty serious about this.

Wish I had something good to say to help you in this time of need. But I don't your weird, or not fit in. Your funny and pretty cool in my book. So don't worry, you got friends here as well.

 

Yes, we understand that some girl broke your heart, but we need more info.


Have you ever confessed your feelings to her? When did she start going out with another? Blahblahblah


We need more background information.


Being all "some girl is with another" won't do much. We'll just say "Well then, there are other people out in the world. She may be with someone else, but there can always be another girl. You are alright, don't let others bring you down because of who you are. And don't try to break them up. You are in a bad state at the moment. If you do anything stupid, you will end up feeling mad at yourself in the end, when you come back to your senses."

 

Right. First thing's first: Don't break them up. While there is a small chance she'd forgive you, it'd take a long time for her to. It's possible she may not forgive you for it at all, and then not only will you not have someone to love, but you'd have one less friend to. Just wait, if it's meant to be it'll happen. Fate may have failed you before, but that doesn't mean it will this tiem. Like Britishism has said, wait to see if it works between them or not. If she means that much to you, wait. If it works out for her and the other guy, at least the one you love is happy and that's one of the most important things, if it doesn't work then make your move then.

 

Yeah nobodies had this problem before you.. If you love her as much as you say you do, then either wait(most relationships at our age don't last too long, although it would be nice if they did) or be happy for her and move on.

I've had girls cheat on me, dump me over texts, lead me on, etc. I thought the one who cheated on me was the best girl in the entire world, near perfection. Nobody is perfect. I was torn up about what she did, but I moved on. Now I know someone who really is one of the most wonderful girls around, not perfect, but like I said, nobody is. I wouldn't have taken the chance with this wonderful girl had I not gotten over my past endeavors.

Good things come to those who wait, but nothing happens if you sit on your hands. You have to make your own way through this sh!tty world we live in and keep moving forward.

 

Everyone saying get over her, you're stupid. That's NOT that ****ing easy.

With that said...

That is the ultimate truth. I know you probably wanna beat the dude's ass, ruin the relationship, and just spazz out but that wont help you. I've been there before. More than once. It sucks, but you have to let her do what she wants. Just be there for her because honestly "being there" is as close as you may get to being her man. Who knows, maybe it'll work out for you but in the 3 times it's happened to me, it didn't. I know how you feel, but don't let how ****** your life is be an excuse for making other people's lives ******.

I know you feel like you've got nothing to lose, I've been there too. I've been called all those things you said people called you, I feel the same way about life but guess what? This is your life, that's hers. The line between people's lives is a thin one and if you ever want to hold the position you want in her life, ****ing with her life as it is now will NEVER get you there.

 

Let me introduce you to my life. I used to fall in love with a girl back in grade school that has never stopped until I learned to accept the circumstance and fell for another. She's been my best friend for the longest time, and everyone was very aware I had feelings for the girl. I've confessed it to her countless times, and even up to now, she still doesn't feel the same. It made me furious knowing about the guys she like. They're nice and all, but all end up treating her very poorly. As her best friend, I always want what is best for her, and having feelings for her often times make me feel like an option.

The more and more I realize that she just won't feel the same for me, makes me regret I didn't put other time and effort into making myself feel presentable towards other girls who might have been interested in me. I realized that other girls liked me, and yet my focus has been on a woman who as much as bonds with you in every possible way, can never love me in a way I want her to.

Save yourself the trouble and relieve yourself of heartbreak. I know it's difficult, but often times, knowing you can another can fate make you meet the right girl. I'm very sure I did after completely accepting my best friend's decision, and I don't regret any moment I spend with my girlfriend.

 

Let me be the one to say this: YOU ARE IN A SERIOUSLY ****ED UP STATE OF MIND OVER THIS GIRL! She just sounds like a really good friend tbh not everygirl whos nice to you likes you like that seriously the things youve said here are like serial killer confessions man *sigh* ok now that im through with that heres the simple truth: you cant force it. the world can be a messed up place sometimes and i get if thats bothering you but you cant change reality im sorry but the things youve said here are very disturbing

 

I don't think you love her, I think you're obsessed with her. If you love her you let her do what makes her happy but from the way you've described the situation it sounds more like you're jealous that someone else has what you want.

 

If you take offense to this, it's for your own good. I have been the same way as you are.

I'm going to be blunt here.
You have misunderstood what love is.

If you truly love her, you want what's best for her. No matter how much it hurts you, that's what you are going to do. If not, you are, as you stated yourself, a dick.
Did you ever consider this?; If you break them up, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll get her. Actually, probably the contrary will happen; she will understand you did it, and because of this, she will hate you.

I often feel the same way, but I'm not that evil that I would ever break them up. I may want to do it, but will I ever do it? No!
To me it seems like you obsess over her, and you don't love her. What you are feeling now, seems to be fear. You are afraid she will abandon you because of this other guy, and if you've known her for so long, she won't.

I'll say this again, If you truly love her, you want her to be happy. You want her to be the happiest she can be. All that should matter to you is her happiness, disregard your own.
Right now, I love a girl who I most likely will never have. I want to do whatever is in my power to make her mine, but I would never break a couple up.

Once again, if you truly love her, grow up. Stop being possessive. You believe she's yours and no one elses. It's jealousy and possessiveness, which are two childish traits. I'm not gonna tell you "there is probably someone somewhere for you," because obviously you don't care. But dude, Grow up.

 

This pretty much sums it up.

Although on a side note one thing you should know is even if you two were together she wouldn't be yours. She is her own person for one thing and I don't think she would like to be with someone who is just thinking about themselves.

Also I don't think you understand what love means. There is a huge difference between being in love with someone and actually loving them. No offense.

 

Yeah, the last posts are summing this up pretty good. Basically, you're kinda obsessing over her, and you just want her near, you don't actually love her. I don't think you actually care too much for her, because otherwise you'd let her go with someone else if she's happy with him. That, and I've been scanning so I'm not sure, but you would also tell her how you feel and she how she reacts

 

Most else has been said already.

No responses for a while. Let us see what this does.

Let us assume the worst, shall we? She knows how you feel about her, had doubts about dating him but did it anyway. She likes him more than she likes you. What is the probability of this happening? How will breaking them up change this if it is the case?

Another scenario. She knows that you like her and is dating him to get to you, causing jealousy. How likely is that? Not very. How would breaking them up change that scenario?

Another one. She does not know that you like her and she is dating him because he confessed to her first. How likely is this? How would breaking them up change this scenario?

Similarly, she does not know that you like her and she is dating him because she finds him more attractive or more compatible with her personality, at least for the time being. Another side is that she thinks that he likes her and you do not, making him a better choice. How likely are these? Would breaking them up help you in either of these scenarios?

Have you concluded anything from answering these, or did I waste my time typing them out? Perhaps it will help you regardless.

Editing. Why do you love her, do you think? If you cannot think of specific reasons, then it is probably not a deeper feeling. A gentle kind of love is what I am thinking. If yours is strong and quick to act without thinking, then it is more infatuation than love as others continue to say. This has been talked into the ground, and I cannot put my finger on how to end things. The most important thing is to think on this objectively instead of getting angry at her for acting outside of your expectations. She is not going to penned in by how you want things to happen, and she is not going be standing around and just happen to fall in love with you. Such things are fairly unlikely, and it did not happen that way. Consider how to get things to go your way before this kind of thing occurs, or get out of her way. Unless you are confident that you can win her away. Unlikely again...

 

To Be Honest I know how you feel man, and they are right you are obsessed with her, and I know how that feels but in the end it'll hurt you bad in the end, it won't be physical pain, it'll be emotional pain, pain that's undeniable, trust me man, I've felt it and I don't want to go back in that state and I don't want you to do that either, I want you to respect their relationship and just wait and see what happens with them because you may think they'll last but they really won't, there's never a perfect couple even if you believe there is.