The Corrupt-A-Wish Foundation

Wish granted. You get a bar of soap. Enjoy.

I wish that a guy would love me. ;~;

 

Granted, but he 10 seconds to live.

I wish I could jump 50 feet into the air

 

Granted but you fall at 100 mph and die.

I wish I could see the future.

 

Granted. Cue sitcom plot.

I wish my arms were made of trout.

 

Granted. You now have less friends due to the odor of your arms.

I wish my dog could talk.

 

Wish granted. Your parents disown you both because he never shuts up.

I wish I could put people under mind control at will.

 

Granted. Except when you t RISE ZOMBIE ARMY SKITTY IS OUR MASTER DESTROY THE UNCONTROLLED

I wish I were smartererer.

 

Granted. Then you realize that KHV is a waste of time, you leave, become empty, and kill yourself.

I wish I had more self-esteem.

 

Granted, but it makes you into a terrible person and every stays away from you.

I wish that I had peace in my mind.

 

Granted but then the world seems even more chaotic to you and you become more stressed than before.

I wish I could live in my dreams forever.

 

Granted, but they are nightmares, and you are alone forever.

I wish that I could control my dreams.

 

Wish granted, but now you can't tell dreams from reality.

I wish my brother would return from the war.

 

I hate to ruin this but it's the rules of the thread... ;~;

Granted but he's severely injured and you can't see him for a year as any kind of stress could be fatal.

I wish that the world wasn't so cruel.

 

Granted. The world stops being cruel, but humans can't, as it's how we were raised and has become part of our permanent lifestyle.

I wish I had a PS3.

 

Wish granted...............nuff said.

I wish I had moves like Jagger!

 

Granted but you spent the last of your money on it, have no games or internet access, and starve.

I wish people could understand how shitty they make my life sometimes.

EDIT: Damn you ninjas!
This was for Britishism.

 

Granted, but they enjoy knowing that.

I wish that I had some good ramen noodles right now.

 

Granted, but Ken Doi dies immediately after.

I wish I had a badass mermaid.

 

Why would you do that?

Granted, but the description is literal, in the worst possible way.

I wish that Ken Doi was alive again.

 

Wish granted but soon after he dies of a heart attack.
Too many damn noodles.

I wish the power was back on in my house.