I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?' Again, the answer was 'No!' By now I was starting to smile. ' Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?' Again, they all answered 'No!'. I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?' A six year-old boy shouted out 'YUV GOTTAE BE FUCKN' DEAD..........'
