That story of how I became Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

This is a tale explaining the manner in which My way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location And I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California commonly referred to as Bel-Air (coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778 )

In the western region of the "City of Brotherly Love" known as Philadelphia my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood in my mother's care The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my friends When a couple of gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief Began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being And she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister's husband in the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago

Yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony) Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-neighborhood of Bel-Air commonly live Indeed I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver and as the driver approached I observed his California vanity plate which in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word "fresh" and from his rearview mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games

In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique Instead I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community of Bel-Air We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o'clock And in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odor through my sense of olfaction I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival Where I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the community of Bel-Air as monarch

 

o_o

I <3 you

xD Nice thread.​

 

In a certain area of a certain city in Pennsylvania is an area of flat concrete, the kind of place used as a basketball court or similar, near to a school building. If you wait in this area on the 10th September, you will eventually be approached by two youths with an aggressive demeanor about them. The youths will challenge you to a fight, which you must accept. Following the brawl, return to your home. It is important that you tell your mother of this incident. She will become perturbed by your tale, and order you to leave for an area of Los Angeles. You will be compelled to obey her.

At the nearest taxi rank, whistle for a cab and one will approach. You may see that its license plate reads "FRESH", and there will be novelty dice dangling from the rear-view mirror. Do not be disturbed by the odor of the cab's interior, and speak only the words "Yo home, to Bel Air" to the driver.

When you arrive in Los Angeles, seemingly only seconds later, you must speak again to the driver, this time saying "Yo home, smell ya' later". DO NOT LOOK BACK AS THE TAXI LEAVES. You will be dropped off at the entrance to a large mansion. Approach the door and knock three times. If you follow these instructions exactly, you will become the star of a popular television sitcom. However, after 5 years, 8 months and 10 days have passed, your life will end in the most unimaginably hideous way.

 

tl;dr

/ariiiiba ariiiiiiiiiiiba

 

Mmm delicious copypasta.

 

............. I was rofling @ this the whole time (from my computer chair) XD

 

The moral of this story?

Stay off of /b/