Summoners and Keyblades

Discussion in 'Archives' started by My Oh My, Aug 6, 2010.

  1. My Oh My Merlin's Housekeeper

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2010
    Location:
    In Never-Never Land <3
    3
    30
    This story includes many KH chracters - which I DO NOT own any rights to- and FF characters, which I also have no right to. Please enjoy my story!! ^_^

    Chapter One-High Seas


    It was a calm, hot night on Besaid Island. The quiet Besaid village lay undisturbed by the loud crickets chirping in the air and the low snores of the tigers in the nearby cave. But two teenagers stood outside of the Besaid Temple, their faces hidden by their long, black coats. One of the teens turned to the other. She spoke in a low voice.

    "Milady, what do we do now? I don't think that this temple is open...." the other girl, shorter than her companion, shook her head and took several steps forward.

    "A temple never sleeps. She said to meet her after the village people fell asleep, so they wouldn't see us." the teen said. She ignored her companions soft mutters and walked to the large doors at the end of the stone walkway. Her companion glanced behind her every so often, glancing at the looming,stone columns surronding the two teens. The columns circled them, the moonlight shone through, making all the shadows narrower and longer. The girl opened the doors, stepping into the large, candle-lit room. In the middle of it, kneeling on the floor, was another girl. Her brown head as bowed and she was silent. Then she stood, and turned to look at the two cloaked girls.

    "Hello there," she bowed to each of the cloaked girls,saying their names," Kairi. Namine. I'm very glad that you could come here at such late an hour." the girl bowed again. Kairi, the taller black cloak, took off her hood.
    She had long, red hair that just touched her waist. She wore short, black shorts,a short purple top with a black sash tied tightly around her waist,and knee high, black boots. She had dark ocean-colored eyes. She smiled at the girl.
    The other, Namine, chuckled.

    "My, you're quite formal, Summoner Yuna!" Namine said jokingly. Yuna giggled. Namine removed her hood to reveal shoulder length blond hair and pale-blue ocean eyes. She wore a long, blue tank-top with a white sash tied around her waist. She wore a short,blue skirt and golden,hoop earings. She






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    Will edit later. ^_^
     
  2. Loxare Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2009
    Gender:
    No
    Location:
    Flower Field
    906
    659
    Keep going!!!!! you have a few punctuation issues, and you definately need to finish that last sentence. ^-^ other than that, the sentence structure is good, the plot is interesting and the descriptors are decent, but inconsistent.