Should I Worry About How My Mom Spends Her Money?

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Amber, Aug 21, 2012.

  1. Amber PLUR

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    Is it normal for my mom to go out and get beers every night?

    I mean, she only has one or two, and she doesn't come home drunk or angry, so I wouldn't call her an alcoholic, but still. It's become a regular thing lately, and I'm worried.

    We've been having money problems lately. We can barely afford food, and we've been late on several bills. I don't know the full details, because it's not my money, but still, I can tell that we're not doing very well. I'm moving to college in a week, and we still haven't gotten bedding or towels yet. They're always talkiing about how money's so tight and how we can't afford certain things and whatever.

    Today, on our way home from visiting my old anime club, she was wondering out loud, "Should I have a beer at home or go to <bar name>?" I told her she should drink at home to save money. A little bit later, she was like "Oh, but it's happy hour! I can get it half off!" I was silent. "Can't I just have one or two? I wanna hang out with grownups!" I was still silent. Why was she trying to negotiate with me? When we got home, she was like "Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to <bar name>." I got out of the car, and she drove off.

    When I went up to my room, I started crying. Seriously? You can't afford my bedsheets but you can afford to go drinking every night? What a load of BS...

    Should I confront her about my feelings, or just let it be and let my parents manage their own finances?
     
  2. Misty gimme kiss

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    If money has been tight and such, your mom might be feeling really stressed right now--her going out and having a beer or two with friends may be her way of unwinding a little. I wouldn't hate her for it. Now, if it's getting in the way of you getting what you need for school, I would approach her nicely about it. Just say, "hey mom, do you know when we'd be able to get some of the stuff I need before I go to college? I understand that money is tight right now but I don't need too much, if we scrimped a little I don't think it'd be a problem." I'd avoid mentioning her specifically, because it sounds like she's already trying hard to justify it to herself, and she may feel like you're attacking her.

    Going out and drinking every night might not be entirely healthy, but a beer or two isn't much. And if she's not getting smashed I don't think there's too much to worry about.
     
  3. Patman Bof

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    I suspect the point is to "hang out with grown ups" rather than have beers. I assume she' s single, correct ?
    I' m often tight on money myself, even in dire situations I end up spending money in futile things, because as futile as they may be they' re the one thing that will brighten my day and help me forget all the other privations for a little while. I don' t know all the details, but if she' s a single mum raising her kid(s) on her own with the lousy pay she gets from a dull job then it' s completely understandable that she would look for a way to release steam. You should speak to her and try not to make it sound like a confrontation, just to see if I' m on the right track.
     
  4. Amber PLUR

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    She's actually not single. She's a stay at home mom, and Dad works overtime (think 10-12 hour days on a regular basis) to make up for her not having a job. She is taking a couple classes at the local community college though. As for kids, my older sister is grown up and supports herself, I'm going to be gone soon, and she homeschools my younger brother.
     
  5. Patman Bof

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    Ah, it does sound suspicious then, especially if she does it daily. Well, our advice still stands, it' d be better to ask her what' s what an tell her how you feel than to start imagining the worse.
     
  6. Mysty Unknown

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    It is normal to worry about what your mother spends. You don't want her to spend it all out of fear that you may end up on the streets. Talk to her about it and such.
     
  7. T'Challa Wakanda Forever!

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    Pretty much this. Obviously, if there are money problems, your family may have to cut back on things that aren't necessities (for example, beer).
     
  8. Mysty Unknown

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    I read that as beef and started to yell. Yes, cut out all the alcohol. That is a good step.