Sexuality

Discussion in 'Discussion' started by Amaury, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. RavenFiresinger Merlin's Housekeeper

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    I find this article very positive. As a mostly closeted lesbian (I live in a very anti-gay community, but my closest friends are privy to my orientation), I like the way it points out that you do have to keep an open mind about sexuality in orientation as well as acts. It is true that the only thing that defines orientation is whether or not you conscious find yourself thinking "I want to have sex with men/women/both/all/none". I'm not saying that it is a choice. For me it definitely wasn't. I tried with all my might to force myself into fantasying about men. I was severely depressed my high school years because I thought I was defective because of my sexual preference. I have only accepted it within the last two years and started healing. I will openly admit that I did experiment with males in order to suss out if I could form a true attraction to them, but the majority of my sexuality is pointed towards females.
     
  2. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    Personally, I feel you should do whatever makes u happy and no one should belittle you for whatever you chose to do with your life, even if they don't understand it.

    One of my friends is bisexual and gets a lot of stuff from ppl about it. I feel badly for him/her b/c ppl r that way toward him/her. I'm gonna support my friend no matter what. He/She is a great person and I love them and think it's not fair that ppl judge other ppl that way. I have personally been attacked online by ppl for being demisexual. People told me my sexuality was stupid or anyone could be considered a demisexual, when in fact, they can't. I was called names for defending myself by explaining what my sexuality was. I mean, why does it matter that I'm not asexual, but not straight, but not gay? Why do people care so much? Why do others lifestyles bother them that badly when they're got their own lives to live?

    How do you guys feel about this? Or just the subject in general?
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
  3. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Judgment applies when making decisions. If you are making a judgment regarding sexuality, the only decisions that should be guided by that judgment are those relating to having sexual relations with the person in question because those are the only decisions where this is a factor. What they are aroused by has little to no effect on you. A person's sexuality should not affect your judgment when making decisions about anything other than pursuing them either romantically or sexually.

    In summary, judgment based on sexuality is impractical and irrelevant under all but a few circumstances.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
  4. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    I totally support that. Well said. I'm just to unsure why ppl have so much hate in their hearts for others and can't overcome their own circumstances sometimes or don't think about how they would feel if the roles were reversed.
     
  5. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    On a side note, I am bisexual myself. I haven't come out about it to the people in my life because they would have a serious problem with it. Those in my family who did not think me confused would think me mentally ill. Many would think that I had to choose one or other. Some would think that it meant I would sleep with anyone/have no commitment. We have it really rough.

    I try not to bring it up because it has so little bearing. I know that they will judge me for it out of context so I make sure they have no idea out of context. It sucks, but that is sometimes all you can do in situations like this.
     
  6. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    In a
    In all honesty, I don't think bisexuals are sick at all. You know what you're attracted to, what's wrong with wanting it both ways. Also, did u ever consider that you maybe more pansexual than bisexual, or do u see looks as a contributing factor?

    I understand how difficult people can be about these things, in fact it kind of just happened w/ a friend of mine who found out their besty was gay. she's crushed b/c it conflicts w/ her religious beliefs, but she still loves her. I don't get what the big deal is though. I mean, I haven't told my mom that I'm a demisexual, but given that I have a bf, she probably won't mind. A couple of my relatives are gay or bisexual, so it's nothing new for my family.


    Also, I'm proud of my sexuality and still say proudly that I'm a demisexual. If only it were that easy for others. :(
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
  7. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    I am a demi-pansexual, but bisexual covers enough bases that I am willing to say it applies as a way to break the ice. Looks are a contributing factor, but genitalia isn't. Looks are less a factor than personality because of the demi part; I grow more sexually attracted to a person as I get to know them with relatively weak attraction to start.

    All of that is something most people would not even be able to understand let alone judge, so they would shorten it to bisexual if not just outright decide for themselves that I must be gay.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
  8. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    I understand, ppl pass judgement on bisexuals a lot.

    When I first tell ppl I'm a demisexual, ppl say, "A what?" Then I go to say, it's all about the personality which is why I never get into actors that way. I don't know enough to obsess over ppl.

    i hope things get better for you soon. You seem like a great person.
    :)
     
  9. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    It honestly doesn't affect me that much. I'm not bothered by people not knowing because I personally do not think that my sexuality matters that much to who I am. In spite of that, I definitely won't complain if I can tell my family without worrying about the consequences.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
  10. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    Wish ppl felt the same way as far as veiwing it as no one's buisness but ur own and it not really mattering.
     
  11. Fellangel Bichael May

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    I was born and raised in a Christian family. Now before you start chucking stuff at me and calling me a heathen or something, I want to point out something. Unlike the very radical and outspoken Christians, I really don't have a strong negative attitude on people that are heterosexual.

    In fact, it's rather the opposite. It's not the case if you are not heterosexual. If one is opposed to all other sexual personalities other than heterosexual, then that person gets pinged and flamed down to hell. The society has grown from having this negative look on non-heterosexuals to defending them. It's very surprising how much society can change.

    I stand on a neutral plane. But sometimes, that isn't enough. You either are for or against it. There is no middle ground according to the general public. Just not having a stand is enough to get people to look down upon you. If you asked me years back, I would've dropped those kinds of people to the lowest point. Now, I treat them like any other person. I even have friends with a non-heterosexual lifestyle.

    Does it bother me when they go in depth about it? Sure it does a little. But I don't hate them for that. Everyone has their preferences whether it be food, entertainment, clothing, and all sorts. This is no exception. It's that this topic has gone to a point where everyone has to make a big deal about it. You come to me whatever sexuality you are, I wouldn't give a damn as long as you're nice and respectful, I will do the same.
     
  12. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    No judgement, I was raised the same way and know that not all Christians are that way. I feel that not having a position. Thing. You have to be for it or against it, no matter what it is in life. I don't see things that way, but others do. Sadly, there is a such thing as being neutral, too bad others don't accept that. I've been asked before how i feel. Once more, I feel ppl should do what makes them happy. It's their lives. do u wanna be surrounded by unhappy, depressed, stressed out ppl who are like that b/c they're not doing what makes them happy. The world would be a better place if ppl didn't judge each other o how they live and worried about ppl's well-being at hand.
     
  13. Amaury Chaser

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    There's already thread for this here.
     
  14. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    not really the same, no offense. Different name. If i wanted to talk about that, i would have used urs in fact i searcher for that and didn't see it, sorry. No offense once again.
     
  15. Amaury Chaser

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    Different thread name; same topic. A different name does not necessarily make it different.
     
  16. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    understood, but in all fairness, i looked and really didn't know, i'll look harder next time.[DOUBLEPOST=1403156490][/DOUBLEPOST]the last post was like jan 2014, am i expected to look that far back?
     
  17. Amaury Chaser

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    Yup, that's what the search feature is for.

    As far as the last post date, that doesn't matter. If your post has something constructive to add -- and yours was constructive -- you are more than free to bump the thread. This applies to every forum except The Spam Zone, where if a thread has gone a month without activity, you should make a new one. :)
     
  18. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    Thanks for letting me know.
     
  19. Patman Bof

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    That' s a false dichotomy though. A more fitting question would be are you against it or not.
    In a courtroom the judge won' t ask if your verdict is guilty or innocent, he' ll ask if it is guilty or not guilty. Big difference. If your answer is "I don' t know" or "I don' t care" I think the judge will take that as a "not guilty".
     
  20. mindy lover Destiny Islands Resident

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    Understood, but in truth, some ppl don't have an opinion on lots of things. For example: If you're talking to me about some video game I have no idea what ur talking about and have not the slightest idea what i think about it. Or if i felt certain topics aren't things i can have an opinion about so i don't have one.