Sexuality

I certainly hope so. We will have to wait for Myst's response, I suppose.

cstar.
pegged as: pansexual
unless you do not experience sexual attraction, in which case... romantic asexual
piffling pigeonholes! just my two cents

 

So there's this guy on YouTube who's homosexual and does blogs shirtless who sometimes does questions and answers, where he gets questions from heterosexual and homosexual people alike.

I recently found this video that brought up good points and wanted to see what you guys thought.

This video contains some language and crudeness, but Plums said it was okay to post it as long as I gave that warning and put it in a spoiler:

Spoiler: NSFW

I agree with a lot of his points. Like if a homosexual is attracted to a heterosexual, all the heterosexual has to say is that he's heterosexual.

The only thing I don't understand is when he says, "How do you know you're straight if you've never slept with the same gender?" Wouldn't it be the opposite gender?

Discuss.

 

I think hes saying 'how'd you know you're not gay if you've never had the D'

 

He's essentially saying "don't knock it 'til you try it." I mean, I can say that I don't like sushi, but if I've never tasted it, then how would I know for sure?

 

Not necessarily, they are saying the same thing.

How would you know you're straight if you've never slept with the same gender
How do you know you're gay if you've never slept with the opposite gender.

The premise for both of these is, "How do you know you are something if you've never done something."


Ignoring semantics, I disagree with that statement.

 

I think the phrase has sense in same gender and opposite as well.. even straight people that are virgin, know that they are straight you don't necessarily have to have sex to know it, before you do your body respond to "a gender" (or it would not be possible to guys have any kind of sex, if you know what i mean).

 

Personally, I don't have a defined sexuality. I am something along the lines of demi, only been truly sexually attracted to 2 males I actually knew (one on the internet, the other graduated from my school last year) and a fictional male character by the name of Schneizel. I do, however, not really like man parts and in general I'd rather be doing things with females, if I had to do something at all. (Their parts are so much more attractive and ah.)

But I don't ever think about sex or anything, at least for myself. It's completely unappealing, and I have no sexual attraction to literally anybody anymore. There's three or so that I'd like to kiss and snuggle, but I don't want anything in me. kthx.

But I digress. I honestly have grown up in a 5k town in the middel of nowhere and there's nobody really gay here or well, openly gay, and honestly I experienced culture shock when I went to pride last summer. However, despite that, I don't really care who does what with whom. It's not my business. It may be unappealing to me and sometimes cause culture shock, but it's not my place to give an opinion.

Do what you want. Your body, your life, your love etc etc. I have no say in it.

 

I wasn't going to post any more in this thread, but as I skimmed it I read something to the effect of 'people shouldn't be compelled to classify themselves as this or that because labels are merely a title,' and I feel like giving my two cents. It was Misty, I believe.

I can understand the sentiments behind that line of thought. It is true that people will often adopt certain labels like Straight or Gay, effectively shoehorning themselves into either/or. However, it is flawed in that it doesn't take into consideration other fluid sexual orientations like Bisexuality, Demisexuality, or Pansexuality -- sexualities which, by definition, acknowledge that sexuality is indeed a sliding scale; freedom of uber proportions is granted to those who identify with the aforesaid. There's nothing particularly constricting about identifying as Pan or Bi. But yes, if you are only looking at Heterosexuality/Homosexuality for answers then your perspective is a tad skewed. There are applicable labels for nigh everything, I don't appreciate it when people shirk them just for the sake of it (see: Morrissey, the self-proclaimed celibate nonsexual to whom no labels apply [don't be a Morrissey]).

For reference, this Robyn Och quote that's been circling tumblr as of late:

(As for myself... When prompted to answer in a social setting, I answer Bi. Albeit in private I identify as Pan, I don't expect the average layman to recognise the term so I don't even bother. Bisexuality is not inaccurate per se, it simply doesn't resonate with me as strongly as Pansexuality does. It's fitting enough for the public eye to digest, it gets the meaning [or the gist of it] across anyways.)

 

( didn't see this until just now oops )

But yeah, that is an excellent point and I didn't mean to say that there's nothing to be found in labels, that they don't have a purpose, or that all are restrictive. It's excellent that there are so many labels because they can label those of a more fluid sexuality (like demi or pan etc.). I've just seen a lot of people overwhelmed by the labels out there, or pressuring themselves to 'fit' a certain mold, which I feel is unfortunate. I'm just more of the mindset of "you do you, don't worry so much about words."

 

I think people should really let everyone do whatever they want and be whoever they want. As long as you're not hurting anyone, why does it matter if someone is gay?

Anyways, I believe sexuality is very fluid either way and that in the end it doesn't matter, what matters is that you're happy and who you end up falling in love with

 

So I found out, not too long ago, that pansexuality does NOT fit it. In fact, it appears to be a common mistake among a lot of people.

It turns out I am demisexual... but people tend to take a lot of parts of demisexuality and categorize it with pansexuality.

• Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of all gender identities and biological sexes.

• Demisexuality is the lack of sexual attraction outside of strong emotional connection. It is distinct from, but related to, asexuality, the complete lack of sexual attraction.

Sorry I put LARiA in this, you were just the one who pegged me as pansexual and I needed to link that comment.

But, I hope this helps clear things up for people who may have this confusion? I doubt it, but I figured I'd address it here.

 

Isn't that bisexuality?

 

Kind of, I might not be the best at explaining it, but it also includes transgenders and other gender things like that... someone better at explaining this should probably jump in after me.

 

Figured I'd share some videos I saw last night, which I will give my thoughts to at the bottom of the videos.

The first one contains some language, but nothing terribly bad or overused. Also, if you're interested in checking out the channel NateTalksToYou refers to, just search CaidenCowgerShow on YouTube.

These next two are by The Young Turks, a newsgroup:

I agree with Nate. Obama didn't make kids gay. They were already gay, but by Obama reaching out to support them, they were more comfortable with themselves and came out of the closet.

In regard to Caiden Cowger, I don't personally agree with him on this particular subject (just see some of his other videos on the subject). At the same time, though, while I may not agree, he's only 15 (I believe -- he was 14 when he made headlines last year), and I don't think it can be all him. His parents could have influenced him, he could just be doing this for attention and doesn't actually mean what he says, etc. Additionally, when he gets to be, say, 20, I'm sure his views will be different. We're most of the time never the same, personality-wise or whatever else, when we age. For example, at age 16 I could have been this wonderful kid, and then once 19 came around I could have be out doing illegal drugs and committing crimes (which I obviously don't). Take Plums as another example, in that he didn't used to accept homosexuals, but now does.

Another thing is that he is only 15, though the incident was back when he was 14. I don't know about you, but I don't think it's possible to know that much about politics and other similar matters at that age.

Thoughts on the videos and my thoughts?

 

I found a more professional video without crudeness and language, if anyone's interested:

Anyway, my main reason for bumping this is because someone here, I don't remember who, said that they didn't mind homosexuality or homosexuals themselves, but that they didn't really like the flamboyant gays -- those that don't have a "normal" appearance and dress in skinny tight jeans, wear heavy piercings / jewelry, etc.

My question is how can you tell if a homosexual is "flamboyant" or whatever term you want to use the essentially means the same thing? (I mean no offense by this.)

For example, I have a homosexual friend that's a little older than me (he'll be 23 on December 31) that used to live here, but moved to Texas a few years ago. Anyway, he likes to take and upload "sexy" photos of himself, such as being in nothing but a hooded sweater and his underwear touching himself or being completely naked, but only going as low as he can before parts start to show (due to Facebook's rules). He'll also do things involving graphics where he takes a photo of himself, adds a jungle-like background and adds a caption that reads something like, "Rawr! That means **** you in dinosaur!" Would that be considered "flamboyant"?

 

Flamboyant is a French word, it means exhibiting flame-like qualities, more precisely its in-your-faceness. Flames, even when seen from the corner of your eyes, will immediately draw attention to them due to their flashy colors and constant movement.

A flamboyant gay is someone who not only doesn' t hide the fact that he' s gay but flaunts it through his behavior and his looks.

For instance given its glitter, fluorescent colors and Bat-nipples overdose, I think it' s safe to say Batman and Robin is a flamboyant movie.

 

Flamboyant is being right smack dab in your face and drawing immediate attention to it. A flamboyant gay would be someone who makes that the first and biggest detail you recognize, they flaunt it through clothing, general appearance, behavior and the like.

Basically, what Patman said. He explained it better. xD

I wouldn't say he's flamboyant about being gay so much as he is flamboyant about his body. A relative of mine also does that on Facebook, and they are heterosexual. (If anything, it's probably just an example of body positivity, but that's a separate discussion in itself). If he was being flamboyant about being gay, he'd likely call it (him being gay) to attention pretty frequently, and/or over exaggerate typically feminine styles of behavior.

 

Seeing as I'm gay I'm fine with it but I have met people who aren't or have that 'it's okay for the other gender to be gay but not mine' this really bugs me and it doesn't help my dad is like this and he even said to me 'You you were my son and gay I would disown you'. Another thing is when other gays don't like straight people, my ex as like this and let it known to me (at the time) and her friends she didn't like it.

 

All right, makes sense. :)

So I had this homosexual classmate in my Junior English class (2010 - 2011) who wore skinny jeans, sagged heavily, even with shorts, and wore heavy piercings. He also had a friend that was the same plus colored hair. What would they be called? I don't think that would be flamboyant.

Also, this is kind of off topic, but it relates: With males, why does it seem like sagging seems to be a thing only with those that are heterosexual? I rarely see homosexual males sag. I don't mean any offense by this, it's just something I've gathered from personal experiences.

 

They aren't, you're right. If they were both actively flaunting the piercing/hair color around to you, other people, or just in general, that would be a flamboyant behavior. Someone with flamboyant personality would be a heavy Type A, in your face, outgoing type person. Flamboyant as a descriptor is basically just bringing some part of yourself to the center of everyone's attention.

I wouldn't call them the Flamboyant Gay because they don't sound like they're making the fact they are gay the centerpiece of everything. I would just call them dudes who happen to have a lot of piercings and a funky hair color.

It's likely it's just a fad for dudes in general, and gay dudes might not typically do that either (likely the ones you've run into just, on average, cared more about keeping a cleaner appearance). Likewise, ladies can also sag, so it's not a sex exclusive thing either.