running away

yes i've thought it, but i never talk, nun the less yell. i just can't force my self to do it. i guess i'm scared she will get madder. i don't know how to do it at all. well i did one time in a letter. she got really mad and started slamming me around. never did that again.

 

.....
Ha now I'm thinking you should run away. *smirk*
Just to make he not the truth.. leave another letter and like go to the police or something when you have some kind of physical damage.... but that's like... wrong.. it feels wrong and I'm not helping in any way..
.....

I'm sorry... V.V

 

but i've never told a human in real life. i'm to scard for that. that is why i planned leaving. just leave them it all in my thoughts.

 

Just leave without reason.. that's what your thinking. So they can worry some more, sleep and feel bad about it.
But if you leave a note with one word on it, I think they'd get the picture.

 

i would lave a note but not tell her where or when or any of that stuff.

 

Yeah, I'd just let them know the reason behind my leaving. So they can look apun that person and think bad things... >_>

 

ya, the way u worded that XD
i have one, well a list i keep updated for years.

 

I'd leave the top person...
>_>

 

what? what do you mean by that?

 

jettie, don't run away. Your mom is someone who has anxiety and yells and screams a lot over small stuff. She's stressed but she needs to learn. She's not really abusing you other than verbally and frustrating you. It's not a life or death scenario like I thought I was in when I was 13 because my mom was a freaking psycho. I even 'trained' her in the end because well, after a certain point she couldn't even hurt me anymore physically.

The thing I'd suggest you do instead is try to stand up for yourself some more. You say you keep a lot inside of you. I have a couple suggestions for you to try perhaps but I really do think you should -confront- her on the issues if all she does is throw tantrums where she says stupid things and maybe tries to hit you now and then.

One is that you tell her straight out something to the affect of "Mom, we need to talk. I am tired of being hurt and you probably are too. I want a better relation with you and I want to stop feeling like dirt because of the stuff you say and do. You've gone too far and I don't need the stress. I'd help you but you've got to back off me more so we can work as a family." Saying something like this may make her mad and fuming but you can also tell her if she refuses to talk and just starts screaming "Talk to me when you can do so in a calmer voice and actually want to listen to my side for a change" and walk away. Sometimes to stop the cycle of stupid abuse the kid does have to take charge and show some maturity.

If you cannot do that because you really do not like confrontation... I suggest this. Write a note to her explaining your feelings that you have about her scolding, chastising and belittling you. Tell her in the letter the things you'd want to say to her if you were standing in a room with her in a controlled environment where she couldn't hit you and you know some force would be keeping her quiet. Also, tell her you love her and want to resolve things but you cannot deal with things as they are and both of you need to change and have better communication. Save the letter for the next time she yells at you and really hurts you. Then take it out, drop it or put it on the table where she can see it and say Read the letter, I'll be back to talk'. Take a walk around the block, go spend a couple hours away from the house if you need to. Go do something to try to relax.

If you stay around the house tell her you won't talk to her until she's read the letter. Sometimes you do need to take a stand and let the parent know he/she is going too far and if it can be fixed without running off, it's worth a shot so you've tried all angles before taking the big step to saying 'farewell to this crap'. You are right in that running away is an eye opener, but it also causes you more pain than it can be worth. Running away should be the last option and if you are willing to go through with such an act, why not try the lesser thing first which is to fix the family problems at home? I'd suggest doing one of these acts before you decide to pack up and say toodles so that you know if things can be worked out at all. Maybe someone else has some other ideas they've used. Just, you may have to confront some issues before they are going to get better. Running away is the option when all other avenues fail and if you have to go then, at least you know you did everything in your power to make her listen first so you gave her a chance and you a chance. In life we just have to sometimes take a stand and if that doesn't work, yeah, we gotta move on.

 

Why do you want to run away? Is the reason your family? Don't like school? Don't like your life?

 

i actually did the letter thing. i have the last one that i wrote her. but i should make a new one that she might respond better to. i'm not confronting her. a controlled environment? what do u mean by that? so a letter with me feelings is what it should have in it?

 

Basically, write a letter if you want to go that approach and say in it the positives and negatives. Let her know that you are upset with her that she yells at you all the time and you just cannot talk to her at all when she's like that. Explain you care and want things to get better but they never will as long as she keeps mistreating you and that you are mature enough to handle talking to her calmly to resolve things and want to make the family scenario work but she has to also be willing to. Express your feelings on how you feel when she does scold you and scream at you and that you just can't say anything back because it's extremely hard to talk to anyone who is very angry. Make it a letter that shows that you are willing to work with her but only if she will tone down her anger and talk to you civilly. That's basically what I mean. Show that there is some kind of positive that can come out of it such as you both getting along much better with each other and helping each other out and well, doing things as a family would. But at the same time let her know the current relationship is just not working out and it is really getting you very upset and angry yourself.

Does that help to explain it more? It's a matter of being in depth with both a future of wanting to work together and yet addressing the heart of the matter which is things can't go on as they are.

 

Think this:

If you ran away...where would you run to?

 

yes of course all of that helps. one last thing is when do i lay it out.

 

I advise not to run away because where are you gonna go? No one is going to take you in to there homes. You will end up on the streets alone and starveing. People will just pass you by without a care in the world and pay no mind to you. Also the things that you have packed away wont last, and then what will you do. Its a very, very, very, tough world out there. You might think you got it tough now, but wait until thats if you choose to run away, you will see how hard and harsh it really is...............SO DON'T RUN AWAY!!!!!:nono:

 

i know now. i've decided to try to fix the problem first. if not, well i guess it will just go back to the same spot.

 

Pick a time when she is definitely home and will get it. Either wait until she starts yelling at you and just put it down and say 'read it' and head out of the house for a bit or do it at a calm time when emotionally she doesn't seem stressed and you can then stick around or go for a walk. Either or works. Just make sure you don't just leave it laying around somewhere that she can't find it and know when you lay it out that she should read it sooner or later so then you are prepared for her reaction.

 

okay i will do that, thanks for everything again, all of you.

 

What you need is a life change.Do something a bit impulsive.It helps just don't let it spiral out of control.If you don't feel like that buy a good book.It really helps to get your mind off things by delving into a good book.Find outlets for feelings like listening to music you like.At this very moment i'm listening to linkin Park and it really helps me when i amn't feeling well or have something on my mind.