Push your balls into your abdomen

Tape your penis onto the back of your groin
Use the skin from your balls to hide the penis.

Enjoy.

 

Wait, what's an abdomen?

 

you've done it too?

-feels better-

 

But really guys, don't do it.

I had a friend who tried this and got his balls stuck. At first he didn't want to go to the doctor because he was embarrassed but then he started passing out. It turns out his balls had moved from his abdomen into his lungs (due to gravity) and caused a buildup of white blood cells that would randomly send out anti-virus cells (to attack the sperm gland inside of his balls - the body doesn't recognize sperm as a human cell) that would cut off airflow to his heart. They had to amputate his balls and his lungs and now he no balls or lungs and is kept alive by an artificial lung. It's sad because he was very convincing trap and the sex was amazing.

 

Gravity goes up. This is true.

 

That may be the saucesomest paragraph I have ever read.

 

In other words, super sex?

 

Super Masturbation, it sounds like.

 

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