Okay, so I'm in the hosptial

Ah, that makes more sense.

Will a new heart create more problems than it fixes?

Also, have you finished those letters?

 

...Do you need a hug?

 

I think it'll fix many of the problems and the doctor told me about people who survived the transpalant and are living normal lives. And, I really need to get back on the letters, not that I think about it.

and a hug could be helpful...

 

*hugs*
Feel better soon. <3

 

:/
I wish I could go and hug you right now D:

 

Thanks guys, I really mean it.

 

I just looked up a few statistics.

If you end up going for the transplant, I'd make sure to have those letters finished. The numbers don't look good, to say the least.

You've been dealt a bad hand in life. I'm extremely impressed that you're so positive.

EDIT: Why does everything I say sound so cruel? Seriously, good luck.

 

Aw man =/.
tummer, have hope, we'll all be praying for your safe return.

 

Thank God, that scared the crap out of me. From what I understand, the more heart transplants you have the higher your rate of rejection gets. Scared me for a minute there.

 

Well, I'm also surprised that I'm a little calm. I think the only thing that's keeping me hopeful is my faith, which surprisingly is not dying out. I feel I have a purpose, so I have to live. Again, this is all faith driven, and there are thoughts of doubt, but that just makes me human.

 

I honestly find this train of thought peculiar. Wouldn't the promise of an eternally happy afterlife make you MORE likely to want to die?

 

Yes, I thought of that, beleive me. But there's people still down here that I actually like being around and I feel I still have a mission that's gone unfinished. While I like the fact that I could join my savior, I still want to be in this world simply because I haven't had my fill yet. I love livng on earth, and hopefully I still have a mission to do and still live.

 

I think I get it. It's the idea of a purpose being set out for you. Your faith gives you the definite idea that there is a purpose for you, and because you feel that purpose is unfulfilled, you want to continue living.

On the other hand, if you took an atheistic approach, you'd have no assurance that there is a reason for your existence.

 

I understand what your saying. I beleive actually because of my heart. The stats say that I should've died a few weeks I was born, but I made it to 18 years is crazy and is seen as scientifically impossible. The doctors have not helped at all besides giving me my medicine that I forget to take half the time. Sometimes, they do stuff for the worst. I died twice when I was really young, both during surgeries.

 

You have a really different viewpoint to me, and I'm somewhat jealous. :p

I look at the sentence, "I've had heart trouble my whole life, and have almost died multiple times" and think "You really have awful luck." You view the same events, and come out of it with the mindset of "There must be a god. Look how lucky I am!"

I'm not criticising you for it. It's just a foreign PoV to me.

 

It is peculiar in a way, but I find many Christians to be rather peculiar. I mean you don't get much more crazy than the teaching that you should bless your enemy. The "going the extra mile phrase" is actually from a teaching in the bible. When a soldier forced a Jew to carry thier equipment it was mandated by law that they would have to carry it for one mile at witch point they could not be forced to carry it any further. But as a show of love they would carry the equipment for two. And by the way, Jews and the soldiers didn't get along too well. The best example I can give would be a Jew doing this with a Nazi, though it isn't quite that severe.

But yeah, bit of a tangent there. It actually makes perfect sense that a Christian wouldn't be simply content with death. The foundation of Christianity is in the first four books of the New Testimant, also known as the Gospels which litterally means good news. Just what we call those books can teach something without even looking into it. When you hear good news does it sound crazier to go "Well I know it and that is good enough" or do you want to tell everyone you know? I remember my friend getting his first kiss he was telling people he didn't know.

One of my favorite lines on the subject actually is from the song in my sig (unfortunately it isn't in the part I quoted) but it says "Save sorrow for the souls in doubt" What a Christian dreads in his death is not a fear of what they are entering but a fear of what they are leaving behind. If a prolonged life could help bring even one more person with you to paradise, wouldn't it be worth it?

 

I understad what you mean by forign view points, and I respenct it. A lot of people are quite surprised by my world view.

 

I just realized I went off with my rant and never actually made a direct comment to tummer.

You are one of the brightest people I've met. Both intellectually and spiritually. I mean we're discussing how there is a distinct possability of you dying soon, and your faith is still strong. I would be amazed if you haven't already made a difference already. All the same I see a lot of potential for you and would hate to see your time on Earth end here.

And don't worry about any doubts you have. Many people seem to think that there is no room for doubt in Christianity when that simply isn't true, though I can see where people pick that up. Looking at Mark 9:14-29 we see Jesus becoming angry with the deciples and calling them fathless one moment, but then blessing the father by healing the possessed boy. The key seems to be that the deciples were trying to make it seem like they had everything together and hid the doubts that they had while the father came straight out and said "help me in my unbelief" Doubts are fine, as long as you bring them to god.

 

Wow, thanks man. I understand the doubt, I am only human. I know that whatever happens, there is a reason behind it. I do turn to him for my troubles and he hasn't let me down. I'm scared, but I have a feeling that whatever happens happens and I need to keep my head up.

 

Thanks for the history, I didn't know that about the extra mile.

So the reasons are twofold: You're sad for what you're leaving behind, and you're a missionary, trying to take as many people with you as possible?