Oda's Songs

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics' started by Odamadillo, Dec 20, 2008.

  1. Judge Sunrose Destiny Islands Resident

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    Gah, I'm horrible at this, being my second try and all, but onto CnC-ing.

    I'd rather avoid repeating what other members have already stated, although I feel it is necessary anyway. Your progressive lyrical development is quite noticeable. Every time you write a good piece, the following becomes even better. Such is the quality of your art. I see it reflected on others' comments saying that "I like this last one most".

    Another aspect to point out is your ability to consistently rhyme. Most poets (myself included) tend to eventually take a break from the rigid chains that are rhyme and meter. Not you, though. Don't get me wrong, that's a great thing, mainly because few people can pull it off and still make their work sound fresh like you do. Even so, my personal suggestion is to try out some free verse. It won't hurt you, so give it a shot, if you haven't already.

    Finally, this can't get any better:
    Keep topping yourself. If you ever need help on whatever, which I doubt you will, shoot me a holler down at my poetry & lyrics shop. I'll be more than glad to serve you.
     
  2. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    New lyric and I am sure quite a few people may like this
    Bring Our Chorus Back

    Stop just stop being so sad
    Let your sorrow flow away
    Life isn't so bad
    No matter what you say
    Now compare me to you
    And be surprised at what you see
    I do not feel blue
    Despite my dark history

    So let it out and sing
    Join your friends in the sweet melody
    We all know what joy is can bring
    Become part of our symphony
    So let the angel hear our plea
    There is now a joyous backing tracks
    So please listen to me
    Bring Our Chorus back

    Inside every heart here
    There is a voice to release
    You know a friend is always near
    And here we live in peace
    It may not be logical
    But it is a simple fact
    Make a new pal
    And join in our vocal contract

    The saintly founder hear me
    Many are willing to give their voice
    And I know we will all be happy
    But is still your choice
    So I will say this now
    You deserve a Hero's plaque
    And you know how
    To Bring our Chorus back

    I may not have been involved yet
    But I still feel like part of the crowd
    And the stage is now set
    So lets sing out loud
    The success from the past
    Will always be there
    And the joy will always last
    Since we have friend everywhere

    So hear my simple request
    Grant my wish
    I don't want to be a pest
    Forget what you have on your dish
    So please I'm asking you
    Rise above the pack
    You know what I say is true
    Jayn Please Bring our Chorus back.
     
  3. Railos Hollow Bastion Committee

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    This was really good, even better than the last ones, in my opinion. It showed me what the meaning of the KHV Chorus was, and I agree with you. Jayn, please bring the chorus back.
     
  4. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    One thing before you read the word Taid is what I used to call my Dad's dad. And this one is quite longer than my normal ones because I had a lot to say.

    Do you hate me?

    I lived blissfully, for oh so many years
    Now I can't, hold back the tears
    I used to be, exactly who I wanted to be
    And I can honestly say, I was happy
    Following the words, my Taid spoke
    Until the day, my heart broke
    The day fate, gave me a cold slap of reality
    The day my Taid, was taken from me

    Grief filled my heart, to overflowing
    I'd lost the man, who seemed all knowing
    My father fell, onto his knees
    My brother spoke, to god making pleas
    My mum didn't know, who needed her more
    On that day I, my grief stricken father swore
    I ran outside, and was hit by a car number 823
    And asked god, Do you hate me?

    I never quite, fully recovered from that day
    Part of my sorrow, chose to stay
    In school, the bullying began
    Just because, i wasn't a football fan
    I felt pushed, into playing the game
    After one kick, my eyes were never the same
    The ball hit my face, right on the eye
    The pain so great, I began to cry

    The hit had, a devastating effect on my sight
    And my future, didn't seem so bright
    My sight damaged, from the blow
    And a new joke, i came to know
    Cursed to wear glasses, from that day
    I just wanted, to run far away
    Run to somewhere, I'd feel free
    Asking the world, Do you hate me?

    It was then i found, a place I could belong
    And with weeks, I felt again very strong
    I found a place, on the internet
    Knowing that I, wasn't beaten yet
    I made friends, far and near
    And I'd lost my, own dread fear
    My future seemed, like it'd be great
    But was I, tempting fate?

    It was then I, met a guy in grief
    Who helped me remember, My Taid's belief
    The man was seeking, the final shot
    He thought it was then end, I proved it was not
    Until my net brother, said something to make me blue
    He simply said, "I don't talk to the likes of you"
    Words like that, could have an impact on anybody
    My net brother, Do you hate me?

    I set out, to prove my worth
    I'd be, a great friend to all on earth
    I did all I could, to aid all in need
    But others thought, i was acting in greed
    The guy I saved, began to turn away
    He said I was, Playing a part i shouldn't play
    He claimed, I was turning cold
    He said my will to help, was like Mitus's touch of gold

    All I knew I gathered, in one place
    though granted it, was not face to face
    I asked why they, was pushing me aside
    Their answer was, "Because of your pride"
    I seemed to have, gained a pride in my aid
    And why they liked me, had began to fade
    For all of them, it was easy to see
    And I asked them, Do you hate me?

    I was told, I have a lot to prove
    So in time, I made my move
    I gained back, the friends I knew
    And my lonely days, became so few
    But the one I saved, still kept away
    That stayed the same, until one fateful day
    I asked him, Why so distant my friend
    He answered, Because I want YOUR life to end!

    I didn't know, how to react
    But I knew, that was a fact
    It was then, I left him alone
    And my heart, slowly became stone
    I pushed, everyone away
    I was emo, until one day
    I saw who, I used to be
    And asked a mirror, Do you hate me?

    It was then I found, a new place from the old
    And in a battle field, I found my gold
    I also found, a game worth playing
    And slowly became, obsessed with what they were saying
    In time I, lost my reality
    I knew, I needed to set myself free
    Then then, Quit the net cold turkey
    Waiting for the strength, to return to me

    While I was gone, I was actually missed
    And upon my return, I wasn't ever dissed
    I found my home, back where stood
    And I felt now, I could do more good
    More friends were, made with a smile
    Happiness filled, Until someone put me in exile
    I have no idea, why this came to be
    But once more I find myself asking, Do you hate me?
     
  5. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    That was really good Oda, I have a better understanding of how you feel and I'm so sorry for how others have treated you. I can't properly understand why they would turn on you like that. You were obviously quite close to your Grandfather and I'm sorry for your loss.

    One thing I admire about you though is turning pain and suffering into song- it's good to get it out as it'll make you feel better. Translating such sadness into something beautiful is hard to do but keep at it- we don't hate you. I hope these people don't form a solid template of the human race in your mind- I hope nicer people come along to show you the best of mankind (they are out there).
     
  6. Technic☆Kitty User Is Inactive

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    Oda, that was an outstanding piece. I had no idea all that had happened to you. Honestly any "friend" who would say things like that to you ins't a friend at all. It's sad how much pain and suffering we all go through, some more than others. Though it's times like these, when you can take that pain and suffering and express them through art that we find ourselves rising above it all. Bullies are terrible people, but not all people are bad. I'm also sorry to hear about your grandfathers death. We all lose people we love sometimes.

    IF you ever feel like people are bullying you here, you don't have to stand for it. This community is supposed to be a safe haven for everyone to enjoy. You don't have to take that kind of stuff Oda, if you ever want to talk about anything we're here for you.
     
  7. Railos Hollow Bastion Committee

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    Oda, this was a really great poem/song. I never understood what you were really feeling until I read this. This explains why you act like you do, and to be honest, I'm glad with the way you turned out after all that had happened. You are a strong person Oda, I can endure things like that, but there's no way I could end up as friendly and cheerful as you after all that has passed. I'm also sorry to hear about your grandfather, he sounded like a great man. Oh and about that "friend" of yours, if he acts that way then there is no way that he is still your friend. If he hates you then just ignore him. Like my friend said, "There's no use dwelling in the pass.", or like what Master Oogway said in Kung Fu Panda "The future is a mystery, the past is history, but the present is a gift.". Forget about the past people who have treated you badly, what's important is the people who care about you now, like your friends and family. People like me or some other friends you have here.
     
  8. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    Has my friend walked away?

    I felt so happy
    I had my reason to stay
    But something has happened to me
    My reason has weakened this day
    But I will stand strong
    I will stick through the despair
    A place where I belong
    I wonder if I am there

    But that matters very little right now
    Since a fools words had an effect
    I do not know how
    But I seem to have become a reject
    The place with lots of bling
    someone who liked to role play
    Now I find myself self asking one thing
    Has my friend walked away?

    We used to talk quite a but
    About a hell of a lot
    There is a pain above my gut
    I feel like I've been hit with a goodbye shot
    I don't like to seem so weak
    I try to remain strong
    But this just feels so bleak
    And I've been like this for too long

    So I call out to know
    Is it time for me
    To let you go?
    What ever the answer may be
    Until I know for sure
    The question echoes each day
    Within my head more and more
    Has my friend walked away?

    Grant me what I ask
    I beg of you here
    This is a simple task
    Let me rid myself of this fear
    I know you are busy
    But all I ask is one thing
    I will stand here like a tree
    Waiting fr the answer you bring

    Here I am calling you out
    Being from the sky
    And I will continue to shout
    As I watch time fly
    I'll learn my answer right here
    I will know one day
    I'll ask as you draw near
    Has my friend walked away?
     
  9. Aelin Best Waifu

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    Nice poem yet again oda. you are really good at operating how you feel through your opens/lyrics. Keep it up
     
  10. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    Here is one of my more recent writings I hope you like it
    Who I want to be

    We all have a story
    One we dread to tell
    The one with no glory
    The day our spirits fell
    But I'll simple say
    what I now strive for
    Is to forget that day
    And not be who I was anymore

    I want to watch as the sun is sets
    When the day comes I leave this mortal plain
    I don't want to have any regrets
    When that time comes I want part of me to remain
    I can't stand up and sing
    But I'll sing along happy
    A guy worth remembering
    That's who I want to be

    When you see my name
    I don't want you to cringe or curse
    I don't want to feel that shame
    I won't let this get any worse
    I write from the heart
    I write to spread the joy
    I'll do my part
    As I try not to annoy

    I wish to be a hero
    I wish to save the day
    I wish to be the guy you want to know
    I wish to enjoy each day
    I'd put myself aside to save you
    I'd forget what limits me
    A hero through and through
    The Man who I want to be

    I know even the greatest
    Have a bad day sometimes
    I do know what is for the best
    Or what will come from my rhymes
    Some days even a hero
    Is someone to save
    So the joy can flow
    As we all are brave

    Written from the heart
    To send a message out
    To a friends I've torn apart
    So here I shout
    I've acted like evil scum
    But that is not me
    So give me a chance to become
    Who I want to be
     
  11. Technic☆Kitty User Is Inactive

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    Nice piece Oda. You're expressing your feelings through your words, and that is truly what art is. Again though, watch your spelling.

    Other than that, great job ^^
     
  12. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    I wasn't sure if I was going to post this one up but I decided to in the end so here enjoy my dedication to my deceased Grandfather
    He was my hero

    Grief is a very funny thing
    It is something we never want to feel
    We feel it as our hearts start to sting
    It reaches even the hearts of steel
    In your grief many things happen to you
    Even a trauma can be caused
    As you start to feel blue
    A cycle begins that can not be paused

    I didn't know I was still in grief
    Until this very year
    And it is my belief
    I was too young to shed a tear
    I was so young when he passed
    But he was a pleasure to know
    My Taid a great man who left so fast
    He was my hero

    "No man or woman are not equal
    No child has no rights
    Given the chance we can all stand tall
    All they need is a little help in their plights
    So will you be the one person
    On whom they can rely
    There is no man you should shun
    For we can all succeed if we try"

    Those wise words always
    Were spoken in my ear
    And in my future days
    They became more and more clear
    As time went on he suffered alone
    Ad his pain he would never know
    I just he he had known
    He was my hero.

    I was there to witness him leave
    Yet I was only five years old
    I didn't know how to grieve
    And I soon forgot what I was told
    My head made me forget
    That I was there at all
    And it has been my regret
    That I didn't know him before his fall

    That is what I believed for years
    That I never knew him
    But recently I shed some tears
    And my past proved more grim
    I remembered all that I can
    And my heart began to grow
    I'll remember the great man
    He was my hero
     
  13. Aelin Best Waifu

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    Wow Oda these are great. You do a great job of showing your emotions through these poems. Keep up the good work.
     
  14. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    Here is my newest work I hope you like it.

    Why trust in me?

    My life is nothing special
    I am an ordinary guy
    Yet you seem to think
    I'm someone whom you can rely
    I know I asked to learn
    Of what you hide
    So you no longer
    Have to bottle it up inside

    I have heard so much
    Good or bad matters not
    I'll be there for you
    And give all I got
    Still one thing remains
    through out my reality
    I always question
    Why trust in me?

    I'm a simple man
    Who resides in this place
    Yet many confess to me
    Without knowing my face
    There is no way of knowing
    I am who I claim to be
    So tell me how
    You can speak so freely

    I've heard tales of jerks
    And monsters alike
    I've heard first confessions
    And from the guy who stole my bike
    I heard stories of horror
    And news spoken joyfully
    Yet I must still ask
    Why trust in me?

    I've heard from the cursed
    And people yet to be wise
    And all said to me
    Is the same in my eyes
    Never to be spoken
    To any other
    Kept in secret for
    My sister or my brother

    Some of what I'm told
    Is known by very few
    But mostly known by
    People in real life they knew
    I'm the first not seen
    Face to face clearly
    And to that I must ask
    Why Trust in me?

    I may be kind
    And be there for you
    I strive to help
    Anyone who feels blue
    Yet I know one thing
    The thing I hold dear
    I know that I am
    Needed to be here

    You all should know
    The simple fact
    And that I will make
    The same binding pact
    I won't judge, and keep my lips sealed
    And I can say that honestly
    Remember that even if I ask
    Why trust in me?
     
  15. Judge Sunrose Destiny Islands Resident

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    I must say, you sure are one to constantly top yourself. These last three four pieces are of very high quality in terms of flow. And you rhyme so naturally that I can't even hope to understand how... As always, you bring an imense deluge of improvement.

    My favorite from these most recent pieces is Who I Want To Be. It shows that you are not restricted by form, only empowered. Now, delight us with fresher work, hm?

    EDIT: Uhm, I'm not too fond of pointing out mistakes, but be careful with that grammar over there.
     
  16. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    Has my friend walked away?
    A very nice flow with lots of emotion attached. You present a good sense of despair in your choice of words and I hope you make the right choice over whether to walk away or not. Sometimes people just aren't worth the pain they cause you and it is better to walk away. Very beautifully transcribed.

    Who I want to be
    Beautifully scripted once more, I especially like the opening to this one because it did get me thinking about my story and how to tell it. You gladly tell yours through song so keep it up.

    He was my hero
    I'm sure your Grandfather would love to read this, it's a lovely Ode to him. You have definitely written with such powerful emotion and that is important.

    Why trust in me?
    A very interesting question you raise, done with such grace. People see you differently as to how you see yourself though, I personally trust you because I am a very trusting person (nothing major has happened in my life to prove me wrong yet) and I can sense the raw emotion behind your work and perhaps some maternal or caring instinct flickered alive. So I trust you because I have no reason not to, there are people I am very wary of and don't trust but you aren't one of them. But yes, good work- and you may be an ordinary guy but that doesn't mean you aren't special.
     
  17. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    I thank you for your comments my friends and I hope you enjoy my newest lyric.
    This one was inspired by a few things I just hope you understand it's meaning
    The darkness beckons

    In this world
    So much Chaos has come to exist
    And the pull to join
    For some it too great to resist
    But which talks to you
    You can not know
    There are so many
    That change as we grow

    You could be a child
    Who is forced to go school
    Or you could be a college
    Who is treated like a fool
    You can be naive
    Or be very wise
    Just know the darkness beckons
    To your friend as she cries

    You could be a young boy
    Who just came out
    With your parents
    Saying not to shout
    Forced to hide
    Since your folks can't accept
    Demanding that
    Your secret is best kept

    As the days fly
    By in a breeze
    Your folks continue
    To ignore your pleas
    You've had enough
    And hear a call
    The darkness beckons
    As you tell all

    There stands an old man
    Far past his prime
    Wondering when
    It will be his time
    As the days
    Go by one by one
    Every second of the day
    A little more of his strength is gone

    Every Saturday
    His grand kids come by
    And he weeps knowing
    He can't run to them is they cry
    He suffered so long
    Thanks to all his ills
    The darkness beckons
    As he takes all of his pills

    Next sits a small child
    Innocent lost in bliss
    Passing all saying
    Hello mister or miss
    Each day
    Always the same
    As the child walked by
    Treating life like a game

    But one day The child
    Was snatched by some guy
    And did some vile acts
    To the child as they cry
    Such horror done
    Just because he can
    The Darkness beckons
    Thanks to that vile man

    Last we have
    A self proclaims Hero
    The kind of person
    People want to know
    Trying to help
    Fix problems not their own
    And will always listen
    As other continue to moan

    A place worth being
    Is where the hero stands
    Count on them
    As they hold up their hands
    But even as they
    Perfectly do their part
    The Darkness Beckons
    As they hide what's in their heart.
     
  18. Aelin Best Waifu

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    Oda that was really good, but also sad. I really enjoyed and keep it up
     
  19. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

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    Thanks sis and I just wrote this one and many people have a mention even you. And I am sure many people know the reason I wrote this.

    Be strong

    It started out so easy
    But then something came over me
    I felt like something had just occurred
    And a question was then spurred
    I went about asking all who matter
    While worry was driving to become the mad hatter
    "Are you ok my friend" was spoken
    And yet my worry hasn't broken

    My sister Cloud proved well
    As did my brothers Tummer, Nights and Reinzel
    PaW, Ienzo, Amaury and F were okay
    Arch, Terra and Ven are fine today
    Even learning so many were just fine
    I just moved on to the list's next line
    My feelings have never been wrong
    But will my friends prove to be strong

    I have asked Noel, Bloo and Midnight Star
    Are you ok? Please tell me you are
    NemesisPrime, Darkhorse d and strfruit reply fast
    My worry grows as each second has passed
    Now my thought drift to Joey
    HoL, Beau, Fearless and Misty
    Jaden, Rai, HoT and Jin
    Please tell me what state your in

    Plums, Stardust, Jayn and Amethyst
    Zelda, Neku, Heart and Myst
    Please prove to be alright
    Pleas let the words "I'm fine" appear before my sight
    StardustXtreme, Fred and Brooklyn are you OK
    Please prove to be well this day
    Let that feeling prove wrong
    Let my friends be strong!

    What?, Roxam, Fuzzy and Bushy be good
    And show that to me if you would
    DT, Maka, DarkVen and Below
    Llave, Flowergothic Ai and all the people I know
    I asked how you fair this day
    And Need to know what you will say
    I worry for everyone here
    Please help me get rid of my fear

    I got a feeling of something bad
    And fate has proved every feeling I've had
    I ask that you do one simple task
    Be fine is all I ask
    Say "I'm alright don't worry"
    Please say that to me
    Prove my feeling to be wrong
    Please my friends Be Strong!
     
  20. NemesisPrime Hollow Bastion Committee

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    I can feel you are an empathetic soul who worries for others much like me.

    The brush of darkness has tainted us but like Riku has made us stronger. I long to be the hero for others to admire but by my own faults I cannot.

    Kindred spirits we are in this world and fewer know.