So the first boss has a huge ass. I notice this a lot because it's slow and the least dangerous place to be is its flank. But this story is not about ass. For everyone who hasn't given it a spin, the first boss is a huge, fat, oafish-looking, axe-wielding orc demon thing. I think it's called Big Pilgrim? Yeah ok. So the first time you see it, you run. Or, well, you should run. Your weapon at the time is the hilt of a sword--not even the whole thing, just a busted-up hilt. Next time you enter the room, it's from above, on a small platform. In the room before then, there's a message telling you how to do a plunging attack as you fall. So ok, there's basically a dive-bomb mechanic, and I'm looming over this thing. Obvs I'm supposed to use it. So I'm gearing up, yeah? Making sure my items are in proper order for the battle. And I hear a rumble that nearly makes me void my bowels. So I unpause, and the platform has crumbled and I'm falling and 90% of my health is gone. THE BITCH SLAM-DUNKED ME WHILE I WAS IN THE PAUSE MENU. Let's break this down. How many things did this guy just do that almost no other video game boss has the basic emulated intelligence for? (1) He spotted someone higher up than his forehead. (2) He did not wait for me to finish preparations. (3) HE FUCKING JUMPED UP TO HIT ME. In some games, the boss patiently waits for you to enter attack range before cutting your nipples off. IN DARK SOULS, THEY BRING THE NIPPLE-CUTTING STRAIGHT TO YOUR WAITING PECTORALS. 10 MINUTES OR LESS OR THE DECAPITATION'S FREE. tl;dr This game is the smartest game
If that's true, that AI is ****ing ace! Rarely do the enemies ever seem to care too much about me being there.
Man, all this talk about Dark Souls is really making me more and more excited. I really should get it since I loved Demon's Souls.
Hey guys? You have to run at the dragon. Just remember that. Yeah, these dudes are clever. The AI is tighter than ever. Even in Demon's Souls, it seemed to actually see you falter and move in for the kill, like it was alive, watching. Waiting. I promise you, it won't disappoint. Still feels like the D'sS experience but with plenty of new twists to keep the vets interested. It's not the pain I enjoy so much as the two hours stranded in the middle of a horde of monstrous foes, running out of heals at a crucial miniboss fight, then fearing the worst when descending an elevator to the next area... only to find that it has led you back to the starting camp and you can now heal and cash in on all those juicy souls you collected. :'D
Nooo. Reading this just made me more excited, but I have to wait until the end of the month to get it. HEAVY SIGH. Also, Big Pilgrim is an awesome name for a boss.
