NoN's book of poems

Poems that I have written over the years. Hope you all like my poems^^ :registro5B15D: :D :<3:

The Light in Night
The anger and pain
are the only things that keep me sane.
That blocks me from the light
stuck in a forever night.
An eternal fight.

But there is one light.
And that is you
my moon.
The only light
in my land of night.

I'll see you soon
for you are my moon.
In this land of night
You are my light.

 

You really need to work on your spelling & grammar. There's so many mistakes, like the misspelling of 'Satan', and the "you're" 's ect.

I do understand that you wanted something long, awesome, but divide it. It tedious to read such a long piece and not know where the stanzas end. I do commend you for it being lengthy...

but this particular piece is just a dragged on repetition, like a chanting, but even if it was, it's still not done correctly. the words light and night and fight and sight plague this piece and it seems like you've run out of vocabulary, and it just made me want to skip chunks of it.

I enjoyed the end, it seemed the only thing different from the whole poem, but that still doesn't change the fact that the poem seems cluttered and somewhat overloaded with the same words. Well, just keep going at it, you seem good, but still needing to work on some things.

 

woops sorry that was the wrong poem :sweatdrop: that one I'm still working on so thats why its so lengthy and bad spelling/grammar but thanx for telling my of my mistakes^^

 

Okay, but could use some work

Sorry to say it but I agree with Chevalier . . . it is a bit crouded . . . a bit less than great on the vocabulary choices . . . a bit ummmm Night Fight and such is used to much and . . . the grammar is a bit bad, which is okay in groups n' stuff but in threads grammar is like gold with daimonds, christmas and presents, halloween and candy you should practice with that and expand your horizons a bit more, choose a new variety for your pieces rather than just dark and light and such use something from your experiences, or something you feel like writing . . . if dark and light is what you feel like writing about thats okay just don't make it number one. Anyway it's time for my usual signature for threads in I read it form . . . There it is, I enjoyed it :) ((((((whoops, sorry Okay that is a lot better but the above statements are the same for the poem your working on and again light and dark is just one of the many poem starters anything is a work of art, a paper is a work of art rather it be words or pictures the only thing it needs is for you to uncover it's beauty with your pen )))))))

 

Phew, I'm glad to see you replaced the block of text with something much easier on the eyes. (:

Hmm.. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this poem. I would usually scold you for overuse of the same words, but the repetition seems somewhat sweet. The symbolism using the moon was a lovely, if commonly used, idea.

"Sain" should be spelt "sane" and I'm afraid that the line which says "I'm in a forever night" doesn't make sense to me. Replace "a forever" for "an eternal" and it would be perfect. :3

Listen to Chevalier's advice; mind your grammar. You have random capital letters in the middle of lines where the word does not require one. Reading your poem aloud may alert you to where you've used periods unneccesarily, and help you replace them.

 

I like it, I find it sweet...Thing is the rhymes just seem to bombard you...It may be better if the rhymes were more spaced out or if there were less altogether...Other than that I loved it...The way you used repetition worked quite nicely for the style of poem. Just keep writing and you'll get better and better...I do like you're style though I look forward to the next poem

 

Thanx all I'm going to work on some of my past works to fix them and to put them on here by tomorrow or next week. I'm glade you all like them.^^

 

For you my love^^ :<3:

Haha i got another one finished^^ i made this one a wile ago and fixed it up some. I hope you all like it^^

For you my love I give my heart
so we can never be apart.
For you my love I give my hand
so we can forever stand.
For you my love
I give a dove,
to show our love is pure and true.
For you my love I'll wait for you
and wait to say 'I do.'

 

I loved it, and hate spilling coffee

Loved it . . . wait . . . oh no *starts crying*. It was excellent, you have managed to make a poem with a good structure and the right amount *is there a right amount* of rhyming. Keep up the good work. There it is, I enjoyed i- ahhh man *spilled hot coffee on lap* man this is just awful, good thing it was ice coffee lol paradox, keep up the good work. Seriously this time. There it is, I enjoyed it :)

 

I Am

Thanx Night I made another but its not as lovey dovey as the last one. But still enjoy^^


I am unique and creative.
I wonder where I'll be in the end.
I hear the creaking of the trees.
I see the trees rocking in the night breeze.
I want to run with the wolfs.

I am unique and creative.
I pretend to be something I'm not.
I feel lost but not afraid.
I touch the wood and the moss at my feet.
I worry if they'll ever find me.
I cry when my friends are hurt.

I am unique and creative.
I understand what people are feeling.
I say life is to easy when the times get ruff.
I dream of roaming the world with the pack.
I try to hide my true feelings.
I hope that one day I'll be brave.

I am unique and creative.

lol heres another that is about love I'm sorry for the spelling mistakes in this one but my spell check is broken and can't be fixed yet so we'll all have to suffer a litte (you with back grammar and me and the bill of fixing it :cryinganime:)

Lovey Dovey
Open hearted
Very special
Every thing to me

:<3:

How do you revile boredom?
Well first you go to a magical kingdom,
that will lead you
to a magical shoe,
and in that shoe is a place
that looks a lot like space.
In that space there is pie
flying oh so high.
As you take a bite
you hear a sound so light.
The sound
brings you back to the ground.
Your back in reality
what a tragedy.
But your friends are here
so don't you fear.
But know you know when ever your boredom
comes back just remember that kingdom
of your imagination
what a celebration!


LOL was so bored in class i wrote this wile my teacher was talking^^ he saw me wrighting it and read it out loud thinking it was a note^^ my classmates loved it^^

 

NOOOO, part of my signature *dies a little inside* nah just joking, I really liked the second one but couldn't understand the first one *I am a little hyper right now and umm the mood thingy doesn't have hyper* btw you put an extra a in the first poem first sentace "I am A unique and creative" but you got the other lines right. The second poem did have a few grammar mistakes but I got over it cause it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland a bit. Drink me ill make you smaller, eat me ill make you larger, but bite me and ill bite you back. There it is, I definitely enjoyed it :)

 

Thanx Night I'll fix the "A" problem A.S.A.P. and it was a I Am poem showing how I feel. My enlish teacher wanted us to make them. But I wanted to post mine^^ And ya my spell check broke down on me wile I was making that poem I'll have to fix that one too :sweatdrop:

The moon is red, as red as blood
as you leave from the flood.
You lived yet died but crying so.
You could never stop the flow.
but I'll be
and will forever see.
I'll be here
forever and ever dears.
So cry your hearts out. I'll be here
to wipe away those frightful tears


A poem for all my friends to show them I'm always there for them^^

 

Excellent, and thank you for letting me and everyone know you will be there for us. You are a true blue, green, purple, yellow and all the other colors friend. Because you are a rainbow . . . the grammar and spelling was excelent, the word structure was pretty good. So I feel the need to say >>>>>> There it is, how much I enjoyed it you may never know :cryinganime:

 

Aww thanx Night now don't you cry your going to get the computer all wet. *wipes away his tears* there all better^^ Thanx for the comments guys^^

Burning bright
The fire burns bright
As you say good night
You kiss my head
As I go to bed
Your arms hold me tight
Let our love take flight
My heart feels warm
As I'm in your arms
It's as warm as fire
Yet it never tires
The night is black
But I know you'll always be back​

 

Lovely, absoluetly lovely. I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes, the structure looked good and the ryhming was also good. Keep up the good work *gives ten thousand thumbs up* There it is, still lovin' it :D

 

It's odd that the first thing that struck me when I saw "Burning bright" was how fond I am of the red and black colour scheme. xD

Basic rhyming, and typical similes like "as warm as fire", but overall a very neat and pleasant to read poem. (:

 

Breath

I'm falling.
Seeping into the earth.
I try to get out.
But I'm stuck.

Breath in.
And out.

It's up to my waist.
Pulling my in.
Pulling me down.
I'm stuck.

Breath in.
And out.

One last try.
A try to escape.
Escape this earthy grave.
I'm stuck.

Breath in.
And out.

I wiggle and pull.
Slowly breaking
the earths death grip.
I'm free.

Breath in.
And out.

I pull myself out
of the mud.
My legs are able to move.
I'm free.

Breath in.
And out.

I escaped this time.
But the next time
I may not be as lucky.
But till then I'll keep trying.

So I breath in.
And out.


A poem from when I got stuck in the mud and couldn't get out^^ lol I almost never made it but I'm glade I did^^

 

Me too^^ this was great, most poems *from what I have seen* don't ryhme when they are about a very important event in your life. There are a few spelling mistakes but they are only simple ones most people make. Other than that it looks great, sounds great too. Keep up the good work. There it is, :cryinganime: thank goodness you made it :cryinganime:

 

Demon

Why is my heart full of pain and hate.
When some say I am a saint?
But others say I am a demon.
I'm starting to believe 'em.

I'm bad but good.
I feel misunderstood.
Why can't they see
the real me?

They jump to conclusions.
Thats never the solution.
They never listen for the real me
but i hope one day they'll see.

But till then I'll make them pay
for what they say.
For I am the demon of the school!
You better run you fool.

I'm a monster thats misunderstood.
I'm bad but good
All at the same time.
So hear my roar chime.

For I am the demon of the school!
You better run you fool!

 

. . . Lovely, and dark the best kind of lovely. Starts out sweet ends in defeat *not really, it ends in fool^^* There is one thing I spotted but I don't know if it was a mistake or not. Third verse, second line you put salutation, did you mean to put solution. If you are using word then it does that sometimes but if you meant to put this then I couldn't see any other problems.

Spoiler

There it is, enjoyed it so much I made you click a button to find out how much^^

Spoiler

:ff10sora: he loves it too^^