My whole family is falling apart...

I know I sound like a drama queen but I need to let it out...

...Well....yesterday, my sister and I were in the kitchen because I was sweeping and she was cleaning out my niece's high chair and suddenly, she starts yelling at the top of her lungs at me and I yell back. So my mom runs into the kitchen and tells us to stop yelling and Caitlyn, my sis, started to yell at her. Then they pushed each other and my mom runs into a cabinet. My mom has a bad back so when she ran into the cabinet, her back started to hurt her. Caitlyn was all like "Quit faking" and "You know that didn't hurt" and all that junk. Then my mom grabs the broom from me and chases Caitlyn into my bedroom and their on my bed, hitting each other. So I had to wake up my grandpa because I couldn't get them off of each other by myself and somehow, their fight ended up in our front yard. My mom told Caitlyn that if she didn't stop, that she would call DHR on her so my niece would get taken away from Caitlyn. Caitlyn tries to strangle her and I'm outside to so I have to run over there and try to separate them. Caitlyn's boyfriend came and picked her up soon after.
I love my big sister and I don't want to her not to be in my life anymore and I want to see my niece.
I don't know what to do, I mean its like war at my house....I have to listen to my mom have a yelling fight with her on the phone and it sucks.

And on top of that, my dad is being such as assshole.
I mean, he wasn't really a father in the first place but I tried to get closer to him again but he chose my little half-sister over me and my other sisters. I mean, he didn't even call me on my birthday...

I just don't know what to do about all of this...

 

By what you are saying here, I see this as a case of when the baby bird is ready to fly away from the nest. Your sister is angry and doesn't want to be bossed around, doesn't want to work with the family in some things and feels she has a right to hit your mother and in her way proclaim a dominance. This does sadly mean that she may have to move out in order to keep the family from totally separating on the issue. What I mean by this is if she left, things would cool down and she would fix her attitude up in the real world without mom and dad protecting her and your parents would get to calm down as would you.

It could also just mean that there had to be a big fight in the family to cool down ego. With your mom's threat and possibly your dad backing it, because certainly most families won't let a kid hit the parent or they are gone, your sister has to now think. Does she want to move out or is she going to calm herself and accept that she's not 'queen bee' right now? If she thinks she is going to be a dominating force like that in the family, the reality is that your parents aren't going to let that happen. They have no reason to as it is their place. So, if she does calm down and see it was wrong to hit and get in a fisty-cuff with your mom, maybe they can work this out. I don't know if the parents would want to work it out if she's not wanting to be forgiven and actually is apologetic.

However, on the positive here, if she did have to leave, it does not mean you could not visit her and your niece. It also doesn't mean that she won't be fine if she finds a stable place to go. In time also, I'm sure your parents would let up on their grudges. Most parents have to. They can't just keep being angry at the kid because hell, all kids and parents have it out sometimes.

Does your sister's boyfriend have a place by any chance or is he still living with his parents? I do hope whatever happens, things calm down for you and your family. I'm sure your mother and father would not want your sister to leave into the unknown, but at the same time she is making things very hard on herself and them by pushing so much. Sometimes a big blowout like this can get people talking though. It seems your parents and your sister have some issues they do need to straighten out with one another. If they cannot though, do not feel you are losing your sister or niece. Both will still be in your life and though it's painful, it may be your sister's time to get out of there. I will hope for you it isn't since you seem to want her to stay even if she is being very argumentative. Hope this helped at all. It's definitely not easy what you are going through. I've kind of been through it myself in some ways and in the end it turned out for the better, even if at first I thought it sucked. So hang in there. About the only thing I think you can do is to perhaps try to encourage the parents and sister to talk it out since you are stuck on the outside.

 

To be honest I do think your sister needs to move out I also agree with Repliku that there should be no problem with you visiting her and you neice. Over the years she has probably felt more and more held back by your parents and felt more and more angry at them. She also probably feels she is surrounded by to many rules which means she can't do alot of things she wants.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this, Emmy. :(
It seems that you and your sister need a break from each other for a little while. I can't really give you much more advise than what Repliku has already said. There's not much I can do, but if there is anything, tell me.
*hugs*

 

I understand that things are tough. The thing to remember is that they are still your parents and you can't leave until you are 18.

 

We all have a time when we will start being our own lives. It's like an animal sequence. The baby is born, it is cared by her mother, and when it's old enough, it will be on its own. I know how your sister feels. I threatened my mom that I was going to leave back then. But this doesn't mean she hates you or anyone else in the house. It just means that she has to finish her lifeline by herself.

 

I've heard of that kinda things. Maybe you should be compulsive and force your dad to sort things out in your family. Sorry if thats poor. Best i can think of.

 

Since we live in the 21st century now it's most common for people to go get therapy. It really helps you discover the root of the problem and then you can fix it. I've never been so I can't say much more but it is supposed to help. (it's not just for nutjobs)