Moving on

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Glen, Jun 28, 2015.

  1. Glen Returned from the dead

    Jan 18, 2011
    I will try to keep this as short as I can.

    About a month ago, the only relationship I have had face to face came to an end. Ask anyone I know and they could tell you how very much it meant to me, and how happy it made me.

    I could see it going all the way, but I guess I was the only one. Since it came to an end, some days have been easier than others, but there are far more days that i find myself unable to cope.

    Today is one of those days, and so i find myselc seeking help here. I am doing what I can to be friends with her, but internally its destroying me trying to stay friends because while we get along just as well now as we always have it really hurts knowing that that happiness I once had may never be had again...

    What am I supposed to do? I can't talk to her about it because that would upset her and I dont want that, but I really dont know how I am meant to just get rid of any romanti feelings i have.

    I know people will say time heals all wounds and maybe it does, but seeing as every day is more of a struggle...time is something I'm not so sure I have..
  2. ♥♦♣♠Luxord♥♦♣♠ Chaser

    Jan 13, 2009

    First and foremost, you are going to be fine (and trust me when i say, I know how annoying hearing "it's going to be fine" can be). Nevertheless, you are going to be okay. I can assure you that.

    As for coping with a relationship ending, the best thing I can recommend is to get busy. You don't have to look for other people right away, but getting a good hobby or keeping yourself on schedule (get up around the same time every day, eat healthier, work out if you can). All of these things will help you significantly The worst thing you can do for yourself is bottle up emotions (or even worse, bottle them up and assume that doing so is an okay thing to do). This can (and in my experience, as well as many others) and will make things way worse for you. Try to realize that just because sadness and anger can hurt you, doesn't mean they are bad emotions. If you let things run its course, you will heal.

    The worst thing you can do while healing emotionally or even physically is to concentrate on the problem. I mean, imagine if you broke your arm and all you thought about is how bad it sucks to have a broken arm. Until you heal, you will be miserable because all you can think about is what is hurting you. This is why doing things like that is a bad idea. Also realize that there are people all over who are more than willing to help you in the ways that they can. People on here may not have a ton of spare time, or might just flat out not know you at all. However there are a bunch of good souls here (despite the edgy spamzone posts) and I am sure somebody is willing to tend to your emotional wounds.

    Try to stay strong, you'll be in my thoughts :D
  3. Misty gimme kiss

    Sep 25, 2006
    Cisgender Female
    In addition to Princess's post, I'm going to reccomend keeping your distance from your ex, at least for the time being. I do believe it is possible to be friends with exes but while you're still getting yourself together and moving on, being around them a lot acts as a constant reminder of what's now ended and generally makes the process longer and harder, if not impossible.

    Taking up a new hobby is useful in that it gives you a distraction and fills the time previously spent with your ex. I took up running after a breakup, for example.

    There's always a way through buddy, you'll get there.