Many Arguements

Well, down in my family everyone seems to target me. Not sure but what ever I say sounds wrong to them. They get mad at me and freak out of me.

From my two siblings, they get mad at me for saying something to them...both of them don't like me kidding or joking or anything else. I'm a target to them, a punching bag. They two seem to be yelling at me all the time, or insulting me. Sometimes they something like " I wish you died." to me, which really hurts me alot. I feel like i'm not wanted to them like a rag doll, stashed in the toy box.

Everyday I would get a slap or kick or punch in the face or back or..legs. Which hurts. Sure I would like to get them back with a beating but... I tell myself that I shouldn't. I'm stronger then both, with all my strength inside of me I could bruise them, depends. But... this happens everday, I feel like crying but I hold my tears for four or five months. Sometimes if it happens repeatedly in one day I'll burst out in to tears..but not in public, in my closet.

I'll be asked to get them their stuff they need or I'll be asked a favor. Ofourse I say yes, I know what happens if I say no, they'll get sad, curse at me and walk off. Yeap... this is my daily life. Which hurts me alot, I don't know what I'm doing in my family.

Sometimes I just wish I lived on the streets, alone.

 

I feel the exact same way. Though I only have one sibling ( baka onii-chan), both her and my mother target. Even when I have done nothing wrong, I still get yelled at for doing something wrong. When I am doing something the way they told me to do it, I get yelled at for doing it wrong. The only comfort I have it that 99.999% of the time I am home first so I get time to myself. I also wake up early but I think my mom has figured out when I get up. So the only advice I think that might help is to know that you are not alone in your suffering. Sometimes people just have to face these horrible truths and keep living like there is no tomorrow.

 

the problem is that you're kind of LETTING this happen. you're not doing anything to discourage this action. if someone treats you like crap, you shouldn't do favors for them. and if someone hits you for no reason, you are entitled to hit them back.

 

There's one thing to do...go live with other relatives.Who're your favourite relatives???your aunt...your uncle...your cousin....Whoever seems to understand you and someone you'd like living with.Mexony your always in the help with life thread and all you get is consolance but now you need to do something about it.Go live with someone else.Even if a friend would allow you to live with them that would be OK.Once you've gone you'll feel better because you live with someone or some people you can stand and your parents and siblings will get how bad they've come off to you and try and improve if your lucky.

 

Yeah but if I do any of that then I will get some beatings. It's hard for me to stop all that, even when I try it repeats.

 

Mexony just read my advice.It just may be what your looking for.

 

Yeah but..I'm not sure if it's possible. My whole family are having problems, so many yelling it hurts my head. I don't want to live with them if it happens everyday...all though I don't think my friends would allow it. My other family members won't accept it, they have problems of their own. But if I leave somewhere, my family members would miss me. I acutally believed that. I'm a fool for believing. They don't miss me at all when Im with them. My words are lies to them.

 

Well, the only way you can really fix it is to talk to them about it. Trap them emotionally if you have to, so you can have their serious attention (assuming they wouldn't give you the time of day).

Otherwise, I think it is somewhat sad they don't have a sense of humor with you. Seems almost cruel.

 

My first suggestion to you is that you learn the art of sarcasm and how to not take your siblings so seriously. You know they'd miss you if you weren't there. Maybe they just feel you are around too much and yes, they are being rotten.

As for them hitting you, don't hang around them so much and that might slow or even stop. If they do try to hit you, move and leave them. I'm not sure how old you are and am thinking by how you describe your predicament you may be the youngest of the siblings? You can learn to block though some hits and just steer clear of them. A suggestion here is to perhaps find some friends around where you live so that you can hang out with people who aren't trying to be so mean. Do you have any friends you can hang out with around there?

As for doing the sibs favors...say 'No, not until you actually appreciate what I do', or something along those lines. You don't -have- to help them. If you want to assist them genuinely, do so. Otherwise, if you don't want to, don't. They push you around primarily because they believe they can. If you start to stand up for yourself in a mature way, they will lose power over you. When they say things like "I wish you'd die", tell them something like "I wish you'd grow up" or anything sarcastic will do and let them sit on it and just leave them in the dust. Basically, if they don't appreciate you and show you the love you know somewhere in them exists, don't feed into the bullying they are doing. It is making the problem worse by agreeing to be around them and take it or doing whatever they want.

As for your parents, if your siblings bring them into it for not helping say "I don't feel I should be helping them when they wish I was dead all the time. A dead person can't help them." Tell your parents if you can that you want to talk to them and just want some more family unity and cohesion. Realize though that when and if you talk to them, screaming matches always tend to fail big time. You want to get them when they will listen and are calm and you want to be calm yourself and not too emotional. You may even be able to try to get one of your siblings at a time and try to have a serious talk one on one. Getting them in a group may fail if you don't do one at a time first. Do you feel more comfortable talking to either of your parents? Usually as we grow up there's a preference to try to talk to one parent over the other for very serious issues. You may want to try one parent even first. Just remember, there's a difference between sounding 'whiny' versus sounding like you are mature and just want things fixed. This is not to say you sound whiny here or would to them, because you don't here at all. It's just to recommend the best approach.

I have a few questions for you though before I can give more advice. How old are you? What is your 'rank' in your family, as in how old are your siblings? When do you seem to get in the most trouble? Watch perhaps what it is you do that might be sending the family wrong signals. I hope you feel better and any of the advice here given assists you. Keep with it and hopefully things will work out for the best.

 

I'm 13. Helpish much, I do most the cleaning out my two sisters, my parents to respect me but not when I don't so something or say something that doesn't really help. One is 11 and the other is 18, so I'm basically in the middle. Whatever I say like " goodluck or something" when they're in a bad mood they seem to come after me, which is hard to get away because I don't want to trip on the stairs when I'm running away.

Although it is hard to talk to others espically my family. My parents I don't have the confidence to talk to either one about my feelings. No one would listen to me when i say something important that came from the inside. Whatever I say to one them, they could tell me to shut-up...knocks my chin.

 

Either talk to them about it, find a Guidance Counselor at school, or let this keep on happening. No one should have to live like that. Does your dad live with you? Because if he doesn't, he might take you in if you ask him.

 

Man, this seems serious. You seem like a really nice person who wouldn't try to purposely upset someone. It seems they are targeting you because of your character, you are nice, you wouldn't try and hurt someone, you would try and make friends instead of making enemies. I understand all of this, but you can't let them do this to you. Try speaking to someone that is close to you and see what they say, a friend, cousin, anybody. Never let your guard down though. Fight back a little, with some force and try to get them to stop bothering you. They will continuously keep this going if they don't get some sense coming back straight in their faces. They don't understand the meaning of siblings.
Anyways, there is also another solution you can use. Try to figure out the whole "behind the scenes", part of the problem and figure out why they are particularly targeting you. Sit and think for a while before taking complete action.

That's my advice. :)

 

Your one sister being 18 kind of means she's probably getting ready to leave and has other things to do. It could be that your parents now, because you are the second oldest at 13, want you to step up and help assume some of the 18 year old's chores because she won't be around as much.

The other girl at 11 though, should not be able to even touch you. If she's hitting you, just get away from her like she's a waste of time. You have 2 years on her. Also, I would still, if she's being a brat to you, not help her out unless you genuinely WANT to. She can learn to do some things for herself and it almost seems like she's the baby of the family and kind of spoiled. You may have to start standing your ground here to make your presence more known.

I would say also that perhaps you are having some miscommunication issues with your sisters. If I was upset or mad and someone said 'good luck' to me, I might take it as the person doesn't care. With how you write here, I can tell you are trying to be sincere to them but yet they may be taking it that you aren't and it makes them more mad so they throw it out on you. If someone is upset, you might instead want to say something like "I'm here if you need me" or "Want to talk about it? Maybe I can help." That would reach a more deeper level of sincerity I think you might want to have. If you are trying to uplift spirits when people are sad or angry, that approach doesn't always work if someone is in that sort of mood until after they can get it out what is wrong. I hope this makes sense to you and you may have tried what I am speaking of, but it may not hurt to try another angle with the sisters if they seem to get more aggressive to you when you try to lighten their mood. Different people cope differently with pain. You seem to take it easy most of the time but they don't.

However, you are obviously in some dire straights yourself. I think your only option to get out of the situation is to come forward and say that you and they need to talk sincerely with no joking around and both sides may need to hear one another's complaints and also how both sides can fix things. You may have to start off the conversation by saying "I want to make things work between us and I love you all but I feel like it isn't returned. If I'm messing up, tell me how to fix things and listen to my side too so you can see how you are affecting me." The biggest thing here is to open up and -be- sincere with them and no joking about it. They need to see your real mature emotions and that you want to fix things and you also need to see theirs. That seems to be from what you say, is the problem here. You and your siblings and parents lack communication and aren't being understood. Because you seem quieter and such, you may come off as snobbish to them, which is of course what you are not. As I said before, you may want to try to talk to one sister at a time, or a parent first, or if you are up to it, get them together. They really though need to see this side of you that is troubled and wants to mend and fix things because it's depressing you.

Do you think you can try to talk to them? I really think it's your best shot. If you can't, someone above suggested a school guidance counselor, which may be an option to try to help give you an up front opinion on your best course of action. Hang in there, and I hope things get better for you. It can be hard to try to deal with these things but you can come out of this better if you can isolate just what exactly is going on and see where the miscommunication is happening.

 

I guess you are right. Talking to them would probably be the best thing Mexony could do. Unless, they won't allow that to happen.

 

That's.... sad. I too have a trouble. My mother hates me being here posting. She'll think it'll be part of my habit which is what I want but for her, she doesn't cause it may affect my grades. She yells at me, she would sometimes say "You two are not my sons" to me and my little brother. This hurt me alot and I too wish I live in the streets and die quietly. But this place is my everyday need. I think you should stay in your room and stay until they leave and or you leave to avoid them.

 

Instead of saying goodluck i ask them if they're okay but I seem to get a shut-up or leave me alone sentence. It's kind of hard to keep my little sister to stop attacking me, she is strong on me. Gives me a few bumps sometimes. I always end up telling her to stop but she doesn't.

I was washing the dishes and then I said something that made her mad.. Heh, my way with words all I said was something about to quit being mean to me. She got up and threw my box of pencils on the wall, which In my mind I think she was aiming the box at me. All my pencils dropped out and she walked up to me punched me in the arm over twenty times. She ran upstairs crying...saying how she feels.. i my mind I wanted to break out. Which I did.

She was upstairs, I cried, fell to the floor on my knees, fell again on the floor, lying on the floor crying. I was tired of it all. But I was going to tell me parents about this but I didn't. I was too scacred to see what was going to happen next. A month ago my dad told me that I should ignore them and said that was the way they are...it didn't help me much... so still my sister's get mad at me for what ever I say that relates to something else. I should keep my mouth shut.


Having a guidance counselor could help but.. I don't know if my school has one. I'll try to find out. I'll stop joking or kidding with my sister's . I won't break anymore promises... there I can gain some respect, I do alot for those two. And I could quit crying in the middle of the night on my pillow, my family members think i'm drooling.

Thanks.

 

Hey. That sounds a good idea. Well stop doing what they tell you to do and then keep them out of your way or out of your room by threatening. That's what I do.

 

This happens to me, too, Mex. I feel that everyone targets me, especially when I used to live with my mom.

I would get yelled at everyday over every little thing, and no one appreciated all the work I did. I was underfed, and lost about 10 pounds, so at 12 years old I weighed 65 pounds. My brother and I did all of the chores and such and I felt like a ragdoll, too.

I don't know what to say, except just keep tryingto get treated well. I live with my dad now, so it's better.​

 

Oh and that too, I should stop doing what they ask me to do. And I should stop asking them to do stuff for me.... it's cause I'm lazy at one moment. my room could me impossible because I feel like I'm going to be trapped in there get some smacks, but out my way could go good, I do have my own way on a track. So I'll send them on a different train track.

65 pounds!? I'm sorry to hear that.



It's hard for my mom though, living with a dog and taking care of three daughters. My dad visits at time, I remember when I cried to my mom, I didn't understand anything at the time. Which was only three or four years ago. I still don't understand, so apart of me is kind of ripped off.

 

Mexony i've got some more adivce for you since the other advice doesn't work for you.
I know that you mightn't like this but you have to just turn into an angry person.Obviously they don't repect you as a human being like they should so just turn you upset into anger and Make them repect you or Fear you.Refuse to do anything your parents tell you to do and if you siblings want something of/from you refuse to even ecknowledge them and if they try to annoy you,Use blackmail of an embarrassing moment they have had to quiet them or Figuritively rip their heads off.After enough of this they'll get to the point when they realise that you have a problem with them, they'll get angry with you and try to wear you down in one giant arguement but you hold your ground and roar twice as hard that they and your siblings never respect you as a human being and that either you get treated with respect from them or this continues.

I know this is completely out of character and that i know that there is a big chance that you won't do this but please concider it because this is only a last resort.