The title is a work-in-progress... anywho. I've made what you call a 'fanfic'(even though in my mind a 'fan' is a crazed phsyco who screams, loses there voice and screams some more ripping the clothes off celebrities) anywho... its only after I put the title in I saw that 'Legends Reborn' has already been used, again, the title is a work-in-progress... of course you don't care about any of this so I'll get straight to the story-telling. Spoiler They say you dream….. …. about what was most important to you. Then why do I keep dreaming about two things? Two things that don’t make sense to me… … would they make sense to you, if you had them? CHAPTER I The Boys are Back A year ago, our order was stopped by a fifteen-year-old boy with a special blade. Nine months ago, we were brought back. Seven months ago… I was ‘created’, I suppose that makes me seven months old, its funny to think that I’m seven months old and have seen the things I’ve seen, done the things I’ve done, fought the monsters I’ve fought. I suppose I should explain what happened a year ago. A year ago, we lost. A fifteen-year-old boy and his friends, a loud Duck, a Goofy dog, one consumed by Darkness, a girl like me, and a girl with red hair. How they are the cause of our downfall I do not know… they said the boy had a special blade. Some sort of… Keyblade? I don’t know, anyway… he and his friends defeated our Superior and destroyed our Kingdom… and crushed all of our dreams. At least, that’s what I’m told, that this boy is the enemy. I don’t know why he would ever destroy our dreams… they all despise him, I actually like the sound of him. He apparently has something We don’t… what did they call it, a heart? I can’t remember much about having one… but I know the importance of them, they are what makes you whole, without a heart you are nonexistent, shunned by both the Light and the Darkness. You are a Nobody, that’s right, a capital ‘N’. I know, it sounds cruel… but its what we are called… Nobodies… I’m a Nobody. Apparently, I’m rare because I have a ‘twin’ Nobody. I suppose people usually start off with one heart, apparently my original persona started off with two. What happened nine months ago? Hmm… I can’t say for sure, but we were, apparently, brought back. The Superior(at least, I’m told he’s superior) hasn’t returned yet, so, The Diviner has taken over until the Superior returns(some say that the superior got his original persona back.) . For days The Diviner worked overtime to find and reunite all of the Organization, and he succeeded, we’re all back together. At least, most of us, apparently guys who were taken out at a place called ‘Castle Oblivion’ haven’t returned so… they had to get new guys… I suppose that’s what they did, I should proberly list everyone, both old and new. No. I: Xemnas the Superior of the In-Between. He hasn’t returned yet but they still call him Number I… so I thought I’d mention him. No. II: Xigbar the Freeshooter. He’s got an Eye patch and Arrowguns… he apparently controls Space, all though I don’t see him with any stars or anything. He tells bad jokes most of the time. No III: Xaldin the Whirlwind Lancer. He…. Doesn’t say much, if he does say something it never makes any sense… to me, at least. He apparently controls the Wind(all though I’m having trouble figuring out which wind he controls… he smells really bad) and uses six lances. I don’t know what happened to Numbers IV V and VI, but apparently they were taken out in Castle Oblivion… which somehow means there not coming back? I don’t get it, neither does No. VIII. I should properly get on with the list. No. VII: Saix the Luna Diviner. He’s somehow the ‘Acting’ leader of the Organization… I don’t know why, but I wouldn’t ask him, that Claymore of his is scary enough. No. VIII: Axel the Flurry of Dancing Flames. I once asked him to make Dancing Flames… that didn’t go down to well. He’s generally a nice guy, I like to spend time with him and No. XIII, he’s always trying to get everyone to ‘get it memorized’, which I find hilarious. No. IX: Demyx the Melodious Nocturne. I suppose he’s not to bad, but a word of advice; if you get a choice to go on a mission with him or not, do it alone… unless its recon. He controls the Attribute of Water and has a Sitar. No. X: Luxord the Gambler of Fate. I don’t like Gambling that much, that, and he’s just creepy, I don’t know why but he just is… its like a natural-born trait he has, apparently he controls time, I’ve never seen him freeze time though… then again… Apparently No. XI and XII are the same as IV V and VI… so I suppose that leaves us with… No. XIII: Roxas the Key of Destiny. He’s an awesome guy(although trying to teach him to play video-games is… well… I think I’ll leave it to Axel) Apparently he’s our last and only hope of Hearts, he says he doesn’t understand why we need them, I tried to explain it to him only to discover I don’t know either… I suppose we’ll find out. He controls Light and also has a ‘Keyblade’… actually, he has two, Oathkeeper and Oblivion. He keeps on going on about how he has a nagging in the back of his head, like he’s forgetting something really important. Now for the ‘rookies’… like me. No. XIV: Xagranos the Unresting Oracle. That’s me, I control the Attribute of Fate(I don’t know what that means, yet.), apparently I’m supposed to be really powerful… I can’t even cast Fira without burning Xigbar’s underwear. No. XV: Xenith Nature’s Howl. This guy has some odd Hair, apparently he controls Nature(which would explain why his room is full of vines and stuff), he’s older than me, but I don’t really care, I just try to avoid him if possible. Axel says that Eco-freaks are all worried over nothing, Xenith seems worried of nothing… but I think its different ‘nothings’ No. XVI: Ragnaroxs the End of Time. That’s my ‘twin’ Nobody, apparently his title was chosen for his names sake(which was Raknaros, whatever that is), his Attribute is Shadow(although according to research, his Attribute could change… which has never been done before). I suppose him and I have a ‘sibling’ rivalry. No. XVII: Roxanmag the Witch of Heartless. This is one of two girls in the Organization(the other being No. XVIII) she controls the Attribute of Magic, and has a menacing staff to boot. I feel like I know her… and I get a weird feeling whenever I see her. Axel says I can’t have feelings, if so, then what is it I keep ‘feeling’ whenever I see her?(apparently Ragnaroxs gets it to) No. XVIII: Zexo the Midnight Shade. She’s about as old as me and has a Bow and Arrows(which seem to come from nowhere) and has the Attribute of Night(I have no idea what help that would be). Axel, Demyx and Xenith all say she should have the Attribute of ‘Sexiness’… Ragnaroxs, Roxas and I are still trying to figure out what that means. No. XIX: Hexicalm the Smooth Criminal. One thing about him is his nose… he has a whole collection of them. He won’t tell me(or anyone else) why he doesn’t have a real nose. He controls the Attribute of Dance and has a habit giving Demyx guitar tabs and getting him to learn them so he can dance to them. The moves he does most are Moonwalk, the Zombie and ‘Crotch-grab’… Axel won’t tell me or Roxas what a crotch is(neither will anyone else for that matter). Credits 'n' stuff. Spoiler Kingdom Hearts and the Organization and whatnot belong to Square Enix and Disney. Xenith belongs to Conney Bengsston of the Warcraft Unlimited. Zexo belongs to Artermis(spoilers). Chapter 2 coming soon. This was made with Microsoft Works Word Processer(and my imagination). Feel free to comment away, and give contructive critism not trolling(there's a difference). Feel free to ask questions. They will be answered... tomorrow, right now I'm going to eat Icecream, watch top gear and hit the sack. *waves* *leaves awkwardly*
That's odd... this is my first time writing a 'fan' fic... but I'm glad you liked it! Now I've got to figure out what to put in chapter two(yipee!)
Wonderful! This is a great introduction. Please hurry with chapter two!!! XD I noticed quite a few runon sentences, and a few spelling errors. If you want, I can PM them to you later. A question: is Ragnaroxs' namesake supposed to be Ragnarok, not Raknaros?
... your right, I always thought it was a 'K' because of the way I've heard it pronounced. But your right, it is Ragnarok. And feel free to PM them to me, chances are I won't of noticed them, and don't worry, I'll try to hurry with chapter 2(prepare yourself for suprise and shock)
I do apologise for the double-post but I just wanted to let ya'll know I'm still working on this. So far, I've got the title and a basic idea of what happens in Chapter 2. You wanna know the title? click on the spoiler below. WARNING: DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE THE TITLE. Spoiler Roxas tells us a bedtime story
Right, here is the long awaited(or forgotten about) Chapter 2... and on that bombshell its time to read. Spoiler CHAPTER II Roxas tells us a Bedtime Story Today I had to help Roxas with collecting hearts… which was easy, especially since he has two Keyblades. After work we went to the usual spot on top of the clock tower in Twilight Town, Axel arrived later with the Ice cream. “Your early” He says. “No, your just late.” Roxas ‘corrects’, I laughed. We sat there eating Sea-salt Ice cream when Axel breaks the silence “So… how was work?” I replied “Same as usual” “oh, alright then… anything unusual happen to you this week?” I shook my head, obviously nothing had happened to Axel. Roxas on the other hand seemed to have something on his mind. You see Roxas, Axel and myself are Friends, all though(as I stated earlier) Roxas keeps on saying that he feels like he’s forgetting something really important. At first I thought that he was trying to remember what it was for all this time, then I noticed his expression, something else was bothering him. “I… had a weird dream ten nights ago…” Axel seems to sit up “Yeah? What was it?” Roxas takes a deep breath, and begins. “ I was in a Garden, it had flowers and grass and everything… what it was missing was tree’s, I was being pulled along by some girl--” “Well that’s unusual” Axel laughs “gee, thanks!” we all laugh, and then I gave the motion for Roxas to continue. “Well, she was saying something in a language I couldn’t understand… I felt really strong… like, like I didn’t even know how strong I was. We were running from something, then I stop and say something in the same language, so I gathered I wasn’t myself. She started begging me, then she sighs and gives me a sword… then, she screamed, I turned around and something jumped at me, then I woke up” there was silence for two or three minutes even though it seemed like ages… “Do you remember anything else?” I asked, he sighs, and then says “Yeah” “What is it?” asks Axel, “The name of the sword…” he shudders as he tells us the name “Anaklusmos”. That night I couldn’t sleep, I thought about the dream… and repeated the name of the sword “Anaklusmos” once or twice, there was a constellation in the sky, it had appeared two or three days before we found Zexo, I decide to go to the Grey Area, to my surprise Ragnaroxs was there with Roxas. “Hey little brother” Ragnaroxs calls out when he see’s me. “Hey Ragnaroxs” I reply “Couldn’t sleep?” he asks “Yeah.” he nods. “Well, neither could Roxas or myself, so we came here” We looked out at the Constellation, it looked more or less like a girl with a bow, running in the sky. Suddenly I felt dizzy, the last thing I heard was Roxas saying my name, and then it all went black. I woke up, at least I thought I did, then I realised it was a dream, I was in a cabin, in a bed, next to the bed was a table with a lamp and a ballpoint pen, I(or whoever) was staring at the mattress above him, meaning it was a bunk, I could hear waves and owls… so I could be anywhere. Suddenly, whoever it was I was seeing the point of view of threw off his covers and walked over to a Fountain… hang on, a fountain? And it was glowing? There was vapour and a mini-rainbow coming from the fountain, in the fountain was a gold coin, seriously, pure solid gold. I heard a voice saying “Please deposit one drachma” whoever this person was took the coin, which I assumed was a drachma and tossed it into the vapour, it disappeared. He(I learned it was a he from this next part) then whispered “O Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, show me… uh, whatever you need to show me” his voice was male, about fifteen… I could tell that he had a heart. The vapour or mist or… whatever, shimmered, and then took me completely off-guard. The mist had turned into some sort of portal… that’s the best way I can describe it, and showed him the dark shore of a river, like literally dark, as in… dark grey sort of dark. The beach(if it can be called a beach) was covered with jagged rocks… which did not look like your average rock, mind you, it too was dark grey, but darker still than the shore. A young boy was sitting at the shoreline or riverbank or whatever, tending to a fire, it burned an unnatural blue. I woke up, looked up and the first thing I saw was Axel. “Good morning sleepy head, I wish I got to sleep that long” I sat up and groaned, then I looked at him. “Axel… How long was I out?” Axel made his thinking face… “About, two days, maximum” I stared at him shocked. “I--” Axel cut me off “Better get to work” “err… yeah” I got up and got to the Grey Area, “Ah, he lives… good, a giant thing has emerged in Twilight Town, we need you to take it out” I nodded, and then the realisation hit me. “Thing?! You mean its not a Heartless?” Saix waved his hand like he does. “Yes, now finish preparations and depart as soon as you are ready” I nodded, and got myself ready before going to combat this thing, whatever it was. everything that I didn't make up belongs to the respectful and rightful owners.
Good chapter! You're still using a lot of run on sentences. I suggest reading your sentences out loud. Every time you stop to breathe, that's a period. Also, you should start a new paragraph when you change speakers. There's an example at the bottom of the post. I like how you incorporated Percy Jackson into the story. Keep it up! EXAMPLE Axel said, "Good morning!" "How long was I out," I replied. "Two days maximum."
Thanks for the advice and whatnot, this was kind of a rushed chapter so I didn't have time to read the sentances out loud, I'll try that for the next chapter. I'll also try the paraghraphs between sentances, seems like a good idea. And Percy Jackson... yeah, I always intended him to be in the story, read my sig, it says it all(heheheh), I suppose with that, you proberly know who Zexo is, right?(if you don't, then you're gonna have to A: wait, B: read the Titans Curse, or if your just to lazy to figure it out---this is the least likely--- then... I have no idea how to deal with that.) Anywho, I'll work on chapter 3 sometime... this year. *does a thumbs up*
This has not been forgotten about... believe me, I can't wait to work on the next chapter... so here's chapter III. Spoiler CHAPTER III I Fight a Guy with one Eye. I arrived in Twilight town, wondering what I was looking for. I wasn’t feeling to good knowing it was a giant thing, but I had to go on… if I didn’t I’d get turned into a dusk. “If I were a giant thing where would I be?.. The sandlot?” I continued looking around, but nothing. “Where the heck is th--” “RUN!” “The Heck?” I turned and saw three people, about my age, running from the Clock tower. I guessed it was Hayner, Pence and Olette, three local kids in Twilight Town that Roxas wants to make friends with. I, being stupid, went towards the Clock tower… and saw something there, it was an extremely tall guy with absolutely no hair whatsoever… not even on his chest, he was carrying a big club and wore armour only on the bottom half of his body. Another thing I noticed was completely unnatural… it had one eye. It was a giant thing, so I presumed he was my target… so I rushed towards it and summoned my weapon. It is more or less a sword with runes on it, the guard or whatever they call that point which divides the hilt and the blade, has a rams skull, whenever I go into my Limit it glows blue, like, the rams eyes glow blue, the runes glow blue and mist emerges from it… anyway, I charge with my sword, it just swung its club at me and I flew into the doors of the clock tower, class shattered, but I got up. Then something odd happened, I pointed my hand at him trying to cast Fire… when suddenly, I feel a surge of something go through my hand… next thing you know the giant falls to the floor, I ran over to feel his pulse… it had just stopped, it couldn’t be anything else apart from a heart attack. But how? Did I do it? Was that part of my attribute? I didn’t know but I didn’t stick around either, so I RTC’d. Saix was pleased with my mission and said that I am “making good progress”, still don’t know what he meant. Afterwards I went to the clock tower with Axel and Roxas, they had noticed the shattered door, so I told them everything about my mission. Axel seemed to think for a time, and then answered “Hey, the important thing is your still alive, got it Memorized?” I nodded, but I still couldn’t get that a dream out of my head, who was that boy? The heck was a fountain doing in a cabin? Oddest thing, the giant thing’s body, it was gone. Like it had vaporized or something. Next morning, Saix gave us some mission’s like usual. Axel got paired up with Zexo, which he didn’t complain about about. I was put with my ‘twin’ and Roxas was on solo duty, more heart collection. My mission was eliminating a Darkside in Neverland (with my twin, obviously). Axel and Zexo were apparently going to do Reconnaissance in a new world. I wonder what it is. I don't know wether next time I should switch over to Sora and co(yes, there gonna be in it. What, you think I'm gonna let the Organization have all the fun?) Or go with Axel to the 'new world'... please tell me if I'm improving. Oh and btw, after chapter IV I'll put all the chapter's on the first post as well as keep them in these posts... for lazy people.
