KHV, I am afraid

It's been 11 years since I last saw my cousin. As a result, she has probably...ahem...matured since I last saw her. Tell me KHV, how do I keep myself from being attracted to her? I need an answer within two hours.

 

if George Michael from Arrested Development can do it, so can you.

 

Take a deep breath,
and then tell yourself
"In-breeding is wrong!"
works for me ;)

 

Deny your relation. Get on the couch.

Srsly.

 

It's not wrong if only you two know it happened.

 

GOD WILL KNOW lol. no, just tell yourself "NO, BAD BABY MAKER! DONT POKE MY COUSIN!"

 

you shouldn't have to ask yourself this .

 

Think outside of the box! KHV, you disappoint me.

 

if she's hot, and you are a guy, it's normal. these days.... just dont act on it.

 

This thread is in the Spam Zone. Why are you being srs?

 

since WHEN was that srs? fine, ill interpret it.

If you'd like tappin her ass then go ahead and think it. if you do it the female being will totaly pimp slap the puberty off ya face.

 

So I see you speak fluent Spamese? Nice. I've been trying to learn in the past few months.

And for those of you wondering, I only asked for advice:
1. For the lulzy answers.
2. I want to avoid akward staring that I may do without thinking.

 

QFT.a .

 

Just had dinner. Spent most of my time looking at my plate and around the room. Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice how awkward it was for me. But because of how quickly I ate, she now wants to set me up with my uncle's girlfriend's daughter. Still trying to avoid awkward situations. Help?

 

[highlight]1. Stare at shoes.
2. Stare at uncle's girlfriend's daughter.
3. Get set up.
4. ????????
5. Profit.[/highlight]​

 

if you'd like to tap that, go for it. this one isnt exactly your cousin now. its absolutely normal if she's hot and your baby maker is saying "hey! point me in THAT direction!"

 

Yeah, but I go back to America in 10 days. It'd make me feel awkward.

 

oh...long distance? :P um... tell your cousin "no."

 

*looks at the clock* Too late. Anyway I've gone through this before. As long as you have protection you will be fine.Just think of old Nuns.

 

Clearly you're hiding your sexual attraction to this female. The first thing you need to do is go up and say, "<cousin's name>, ever since you're sprouted those voluptuous chest growths, I've found myself quite attracted to you. Yes, family geneology dictates that we shouldn't explore these raw and passionate feelings, but I say, 'To hell with that!' and think we should act upon these. It will be our own forbidden love."

At about this time, she'll try to interrupt. That's when you just hug her tight and kiss her. Chicks dig that, especially hot female cousins. Don't be afraid to slip her some tongue.

Okay, after that, dinner will be awkward for the both of you. You'll still have that animalistic instinct to mate with your cousin and she'll be feeling overwhelmed by your powerful making out. This next step is crucial. Make eye contact with her, but while you do, do something sexual with your food. As she watches, her weakened will is going to crumble even farther into the depths of her desire. She's now yours.

Okay, you've already admitted your feelings, made out with her, and acted out sexual behaviors with edible food. All that's left is sleeping with her. This should come easily after all that. Just open her door at night, "Shhh...it's just me, <real name>. Can I come in?" She should nod yes. When she does, just say that you're still feeling urges to experiment with her. Slide your hand up to her chest melons and caress them. She'll begin to faint, slightly. She's yours. Now, just plow your cousin and complete the redneck family!

But seriously, why the hell did you read all that about nailing your cousin? You're a sick person. At least it wasn't the family dog.