KHV, I am a father.

Say hello to my daughter. Her name is Mausi. Right now she's in Wales with her three husbands (yay polygamy), but she'll be back shortly. In the meantime, she'll be on the forums.

 

Oh, I see. What name will she be under?

 

Awesome, glad to hear it. :3

 

All three, and they changed their names too.
Mausi Wright Gavinstorm (Gavinstorm sounds cooler than Gavin Storm).

 

Oh, I see.

This is sounding rather like an Ace Attorney reference.

 

Given that her husbands are, in order, Phoenix Wright, Johnny Storm, and Klavier Gavin, you'd be 2/3 right.

 

If this is another puzzle, I am too lazy to think about it.

Want to skip to the end of the story?

 

Nope, it's not a puzzle.

 

I half expected the star wars scene

 

No imagination.

 

DAAAADDDY!
WE LOST KLAVIER IN THE WOODS AND JOHNNY BURNT HALF THE TREES!
... Oh yeah, and Nick's in a river.

 

We...we are going to have a serious talk about losing husbands when you get home. Klavier's...what? The fourth husband you've lost in the woods? And don't even get me started on the remote island incident.

 

What the feck did I just read?

 

a bunch of words I believe

 

And maybe some sentences.

 

...Nick's still in the river you know. And none of us can climb down. Klav miiight be able to but I have no idea where he went. I'll go find him again in about 2 weeks.

 

Nick'll be fine. This is a good opportunity for him to learn how to not die.
(I still can't believe you married him. That Miles fellow was so much better for you, and wealthy too!)

 

B-b-but... HE'S THE ONE I ACTUALLY LOVE!!

 

And if you love him you'll let him learn from this experience and help him by shouting encouraging words in his general direction! "Come on Nick! Don't think about your imminent demise! Just remember that you can do it! I believe in you!"

 

There was that one time he was hit by a car and got away with nothing.

He has the devil's luck. Not unlike me.