I need Help Badly "Click ME Please"

Ok hellow! I've been gone for a while so it feels good to be back. Hellow! Ok well I'm having a huge problem and it would be huge if you could help... its sorta a long story but just please read the whole thing...


About 5 years ago a girl moved into my neighborhood... I was 9 years old and she was 10. Since the moment i saw her i liked her more then any other girl. 5 years later I still think the same. ok heres the whole story.

I'm now 14 and she's 15. We've always been pretty good friends, never "best" friends but we always laugh and talk. I'm not really sure that she knows i still like her, I know she doesn't like me that way...
She's always been attracted to older guys, she's the type of girl that likes the really cool guys you would see at beaches and California... ---___---

At the moment i've found out that she likes a guy who's 17. But I've talked to him about it and he doesn't really like her that way. But I don't know if that is true since i've only met him once...

So recently i went to a semi-formal party where there was mostly just dancing... Unfortunatly there was about 17 slow dances... Constantly he was asking her to dance to the slow songs right before i was about to. And likewise she would answer "yes." I have a really good friend (she's a girl) and hangs out with her ALOT. Unfortunatly for me she's a two timing backstabber! She always says she's helping me but i recently found out that she's gettin her his number and really tryin to get them together... Ok back to the story... Finally i got up the guts to ask her to dance and she said yes surprising me that she wouldn't say no that she would want to dance with him... Well it turned out to be really nice. Ok so the next day i hung out with her again at a park because there was a large picnic goin around... So most of the time i was sittin on the swings tlakin with her and her friends. At the end of the nite she began to talk about him Alot. It really hurt to have to listen to her talk about him this much. Well i walked along with her best friend (not the two-timing backstabber lol) and she knew that i had liked her before this. So she asked me "you still like her dont you?" and i answered "Yeah 5 long years..." And so she proceeded to say "You do know that she's really tryin to go out with that guy right?"
(condensed version) I solemnly said" Yes i know, but i dont really care i just want her to be happy" It almost hurt me to say that= I wanted her to be happy with me not him...

OK thats the story! Please im so freakin confused i dont know what to do. Just someone tell me, give me some addvice to go by! Everytime i see her i feel sick in my stomach. HELP PLZ

 

You probably aren't going to like this, but the only thing you can do is try to get over her. From what you're saying, it seems there is no chance you two will be together, so just find someone else. I know what it's like to like someone for a long time and have them not like you the same way. It took me awhile, but I eventually got over her.

 

Well I've got to give you credit, you're certainly loyal. A lot of girls would kill for that.

But anyway, you just got to stick it out. If it's meant to be, then it'll happen. I wish you lots of luck. <33 I can't be much help. I have absolutely no experience in this area. xD but I can add a girl's perspective.

 

ya know ur right.... its just ive enver felt this way... ive liked girls b4 this just not like this... There's a billion other guys that like her, and when they tell her basically all they say is You are Pretty. She thinks that guys just like her for her looks. But theres so much more. She listens to all my jokes. I suppose you might be right...

Do you mean that i should tell her? its just i would have no problem i just dont want it to be awkward when we hang out...

 

Yeah, it would be a different story if she did like you as more than a friend, but as you said, she's into older guys, which you are not. I'm sorry man, but that's just how it is. I know your pain.

 

God ya know it sucks... all of the other girls around where I live are either taken/ugly... it sucks just so badly

 

I know, same with me.

 

Well, don't tell her if she's involved with another guy.

But sadly, DSK might be right. If nothing's happened in five years, there's not too much hope.

 

man im totally caught between a rock and a hardplace

well im not really sure the other guy likes her back... but if something does happen i wont stop it, i dont want to hurt her feelings and just destroy our feelings completely

 

Whew! Well seems like you are in quite a pickle. I think you should put it all on the table and tell her. Rejection is hard to bear, but it's a cold hard fact of life.With any luck you guys can still be friends.

 

Okay, honestly, that is really nice of you. I would say that, you could maybe try to get over her, but you know, sometimes it just takes a while for things to happen. If it is really meant to be, it'll happen. You just have to keep your hopes high for now, and who knows, maybe when you least expect it, someone else will come along and you will like her even more.

 

The way we say things is often going to affect the outcome of a situation. When I said you should tell him how you feel, I meant take him for a walk and really get in depth with him and see if the two of you can ever really be. If not, then I don't think it's healthy to continue chasing a dream.

 

ok well actually its a she and i had to go to sleep last night i had 3 strange dreams only one actually pertained to this... thanks fot the help tho vice its just i can barely ever get time alone with her it seems, she's always with her friends, and even when i say i gotta say somehting personal someone always seems to come along and listen in...

 

It's like staring in the mirror.
I was in the same situation six years ago and I give you massive respect points due to the fact that you have not given up, yet haven't forced yourself forward. You being her friend might not be what you want, but if she and this 17 year old do go out and it goes downhill, she'll need friends, and as long as you tell her that you are always there if she needs you, she'll remember that for a long time.

i can't tell you how many times i've helped my one friend that i've liked for 6 years with breakups and her ex fiancee calling off the wedding.

Be there for her. She'll appreciate it.

 

Thanks that's the best answer i've gotten so far...

 

What a pickle. I've been there too and liked someone for years but she and I were just not destined to be. For some others, the situation is different.

It's a debate on whether you should tell her your feelings. Many school relationships don't last long and it seems like she's pretty into this guy. You were screwed over by that other girl who was supposedly helping you, but I can say one thing straight out. Whether shy or not, never depend on others to help you set up a relationship with a girl if you can help it. Too often, someone does something wrong to you intentionally or unintentionally.

If you do wish to tell her how you feel, you'd have to do it soon because if she does go out with this guy, it's a done deal for the time it lasts. If you do tell her I'd say something along the lines of you care for her and would want to be more than friends if she wanted to and you know you aren't an older guy but are mature and you'd hope she'd consider you. Also, mention that you are friends and you'd not want to lose that whether she said no or not. The rejection that may happen will hurt but if you truly care about her, at least you'll know your answer that it's just not meant to be but you can still at least have that friendship, which made you find her so cool. With that answer, it may help you to also free your feelings up in time and try to find another girl. Also, when you like one girl, others look less appealing naturally. When you sort your feelings out you may find other girls to not be so ugly.

If you decide to not bring it up to her, then here's where you need to weigh your own options. You should probably accept that the answer is 'no' on you being together, at least for the time she's with this guy, and well, decide if the friendship that brought you two so close is worth tossing away to move on or if you can maintain it and be close to her still and be that awesome friend you've been in the past. For me, I did decide to keep the friendship and though at times I wished more would happen, I became used to it and the girl became like a sister to me. Feelings do alter and mend themselves with time whatever you decide. You can still have great memories in the future even if they aren't the memories you had hoped on for 5 years and she will be grateful that she can have a friend so cool as you.

I hope you'll feel better about things no matter what you do. It's a rotten situation and anyone that goes through it is confused at the beginning. I wish you the best.

 

Love doesn't force itself. If she's happy with someone else you'd be better off saving your dignity and stepping aside.

 

I'm gonna go with styx on this.

 

Hmm... I've thought it over and im just gonna let her go... i think the thing that hit me biggest was what Misty And DSK said if nothing has happened in 5 years i seirously doubt anything will... Also thanks L, what u said really helped, and also shades and everybody else... but i still have one problem... after 5 years of liking her this much, how do i just let go?

 

You can't. Not just like that. Don't avoid her for you'll run the risk of her getting mad at you. Just "carry on" and have patience.
There's no easy way to do this.