I haven't made on of these things in ages ...

So a guy walks into a bar and he's like: Yo, what's up with this random lightning rod?
The lightning rod says: I'm not the one walking into people.
Dude replies with: Whoa, you can talk!?
Lightning rod says: No.
Guy becomes confused: Wait, what?
Lighting rod continues on to say: You're suffering from a massive concussion and are currently in a delusional state. You should really find the nearest medical facility as soon as possible.

I can't remember but I think that's how these are supposed to work.

Side note: I haven't told a joke in ages.

 

My insides!

 

I've actually been working on a small stand-up comedy-esque bit regarding baseball themed euphemisms for various sex-related things, but it doesn't translate to text very well. It's best I say it aloud. So far, it goes:

I've noticed something really odd about slang. It seems that a lot of sexual euphemisms are related to baseball in one way or another. I mean, we obviously have the whole "bases" thing that puts levels of intimacy into baseball terms, but it goes further than that. I mean, look at one of the most common euphemisms used to refer to gay people: "Batting for the other team." Who's "the other team?" Are we talking about the "Away" team? That would make the most sense, considering that heterosexuality is the more popular of the two "teams," making it to "Home" team and, as I mentioned earlier, homosexuality the "Away" team. But then where does bisexuality fit into this mix? You can't be on both teams, can you? Well I thought on this for a good long while and decided bisexuality should be Little League. "Why Little League," you ask? It's a well known fact that in Little League, every kid has to play. But there's still more! What about asexuality? Antisexuality? Well, following my train of thought, it would only make sense for asexuality to be all the cheering fans in the bleachers and antisexuality would have to be tee ball, the most boring baseball variant imaginable. And then there's pansexuality which for now I'm going to consider the Cricket of the sex world. That could change in the future depending on how well I understand either pansexuality or Cricket, but I have a feeling that won't be happening any time soon.

It's a work in progress. I have to work on making it more concise, for one thing.


Also:

Spoiler

 

this is genius

 

I'm taking a module for the history, theories and performance of stand up comedy. I'm on the history stage and will progress to the performance stage later this year. So, some tips from someone who has basically not learnt anything about stand up routines yet but knows a bit of its history!

- Cut down on the overly long/complex/scientific words, for example, take away the sexual in 'sexual euphemisms'. Your audience will understand their sexual, you don't need to tell them that part.
- Add in jokes in the middle of the overarching joke, for example 'Who's "the other team?" Al-Qaeda?'

But yeah, good work, just keep at it.

 

This is partially relevant >:3 But it's Whose line is it anyway so relevance isn't relevant!

 

Colin's puns give me life.