How manipulative are you?

Discussion in 'Discussion' started by Ars Nova, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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    Can you get just about anyone to do what you want? Do you know just the right words to provoke a reaction? Are you ever tempted to manipulate someone who has left themselves vulnerable? How often? Have you ever given in to that temptation?

    You don't have to go into detail, if it's uncomfortable for you. And please, no snide remarks or judgement calls about other posters—This is a place of sincere confession, not hatred.
     
  2. Misty gimme kiss

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    I do believe I have manipulative tendencies, though they're often a result of already negative situations. Without going into too much detail, in a past friendship of mine (I no longer talk to this person), I was often very insecure about their level of trust and appreciation for me. Suffice to say there was fault on both sides as to why I felt that way, it was during a very unhappy period in my life, but I would often pick fights with this person to manipulate out a reaction. I wrote about it in my feelings blog (SO EXCUSE THE MELODRAMA it is my depression remedy), I'm not sure how else to articulate it:
    I think in the back of my mind I also knew that, when we would inevitably make up after these fights, that we would exchange some words of affection (I'm sorry to have hurt you, I care about you, etc.), and so I picked fights to manipulate those expressions out.

    I'm not proud of this habit and I realized, as the friendship was crumbling, that it was very unhealthy and even abusive behavior on my part. Since I have tried to recognize when I am falling into the impulse to manipulate, to question why I'm doing or saying things, and avoid exploiting people in this way. I identify quite strongly with INFJ personality types (and I get INFJ as my result in nearly every test I've taken), one of the particulars being an insight and intuition about people. I feel I have a strong sense of other people, that I can read them quite well, and that I'll often know how to draw the reaction I would like. And I don't think it's always a negative practice, like when working on a team it comes in handy, but generally speaking, I don't like the idea of utilizing others as objects. It demeans them and is quite egotistical in relationships.
     
  3. Sebax Avatar by Xerona

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    I work as an actor who writes in his free time. Manipulation, in its good and bad elements is probably my most inherent skill. I have a firm grasp of respect and honor, so I do not try to take advantage of others if there is no honestly good reason to; my skills in perceiving manipulation tend to also make me aware when someone else is inherently manipulative. What I try to do is get a real emotion out of someone. I try to manipulate their mind into knowing exactly what I am trying to portray either on stage or in written word; the translation can be difficult sometimes, as no one has exactly the same perception as someone else on everything collectively. That means trouble for trying to reach a wide audience, but it is doable, and I have done this many times to great effect.

    I do think I am manipulative, but I'm a person of few wants, so I utterly rarely use this skill in its darker forms.

    I have a supposition that people who make good leaders and people who find themselves in place of power have this skill to be able to manipulate others. Manipulation is not, as I have hopefully expressed, is not evil by itself. Just look at Misty. I don't think I've ever heard a distasteful opinion of her as an Admin the whole year I've actively been a member of KHV, yet she confesses to having Manipulative tendencies. Exemplified, manipulation can work towards good. That's what I've thought through my use of it.
     
  4. A Zebra Chaser

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    i'm incredibly manipulative, to the point where I do it without realizing, fairly recently I started noticing this and tred to make a change, which has led to me having a bit of a tic where I can be incredibly honest for no good reason (ie telling the truth in a situation where it doesn't benefit anybody but hurts me in some way)
    Still really manipulative though