Hey KHV, I have a challenge for you.

Fayt-Harkwind · Mar 20, 2010

Korra · Mar 20, 2010

Captain Hero said: ↑

You skipped me. :-(
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Sorry. D:
I've seen it before though. xD

Fayt-Harkwind said: ↑

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...You're winning right now. By a lot. xDDD

Captain Hero · Mar 20, 2010

I know HOW to make you laugh, but it's hard to reproduce inside jokes between theater techies.

Darkcloud · Mar 20, 2010

DPWolf said: ↑

Sorry. D:
I've seen it before though. xD

...You're winning right now. By a lot. xDDD
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So, does that mean he buys the meat pies? D8

Chad Thundercucc · Mar 20, 2010

P said: ↑

I'll give you my school's top five jokes, in no particular order.

Q: Whaddya tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who cares? Why isn't she in the kitchen?!

Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam?
A: You can't jelly a dick into a baby.

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: The boy scout came back from camp.

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 6,000,004. Two in the front, two in the back and six million in the ashtray.

Yes, I am aware my school is sexist, racist, disturbing and has horrible jokes.
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Your school sounds a lot like /b/.

Ventus 13 · Mar 20, 2010

Yo..... what's up

Tootsie · Mar 20, 2010

What did a monkey said to another monkey?

I don't remember the punchline but you're a whore.

Always Dance · Mar 20, 2010

Captain Hero said: ↑

You skipped me. :-(
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And me >.>

Spike · Mar 20, 2010

Laugh? LAUGH?! The hell, lady? I don't have to make no one laugh! >:I

I fought in the WAR, ya know! Maybe not Iraq, maybe not even FREAKING Vietnam, but I've been in the flame war, maaaan. The freaking FLAME WAR of '06!

You know how many people I saw vanish right in front of me!? I saw my MSN poker buddies get turned into Lolcat spamming NIGERIANS, maaan! I don't care about inheriting money from no God damn PRINCESS! And lemme tell you something, when a Nigerian spams your inbox, he does it THOROUGLY! Not just your mail inbox, but your JUNK inbox, too! And you know what that means!? I'LL TELL YA! It means TWICE the spam to go into your DELETED box! It took me 3 DAYS to clear my inbox....before realizing it was too much and being forced to change my e-mail adress COMPLETELY! I had the coolest Overhead picture EVER for that account, MAN! And now it's GONE, MAAAAN!

That forum used to be the cleanest **** EVER, maaan! Then those damn 4*****s invaded and everything went to ****, maaaaaan! The kind of **** that hits a fan that's already had **** on it and made the fan go "SH*******T, MAAAAN! That's some crazy ****!"

And then they found my house and took my Cadbury Cremes.....b******s >:I

Ars Nova · Mar 20, 2010

VideoGameNerd246 said: ↑

Your school sounds a lot like /b/.
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The virus is spreading.

Captain Hero · Mar 20, 2010

TheMuffinMan said: ↑

so today I painted a bathroom

painting bathrooms is not fun

well

actually

if you break it down

painting is not fun

and bathrooms aren't fun

so I could have guessed from the beginning that I wasn't gonna get right into it and be all like

OOOHHHH MY GOOOOD THIS IS AMAAAAZIIIIING

but you see

I was promised sandwiches

delicious delicious sandwiches

have you ever had someone offer you a sandwich?

no you fucking haven't don't you god damn lie to me you son of a bitch

I swear to god

I will murder your dog

...

so anyway

my bro guy home boy slice ham and cheese omlette du fromage g grizzle phat homey from the hood

was all up in my hizzous like

YO DWAG YOU WANNA GET PHAT BEATS AND THEN BE BUMPIN ALL UP IN MY CRIB AND THEN WE GET DAT WHITE BUNNY YU KNO WA M SAYN??

and I'm all like

"yo g i know yu wan me to get awl in there and splat splat with my gat gat"

(that's slang for a gun for you guys who aren't hardcore like us)

"but mang, yu kno how i rol n ima gon need som o dat green stuff yeah yeah"

and he's like

"o yeah it coo I've got a lot of lettuce we can make sammiches"

"...."

"dear god I love you yes let's totally do that"

and then we have bro grabs

*bro grabs*

...

lol i'm just kidding we're a bunch of nerdy white guys and he just asked me to do it

also we made lunch afterwards and played Dragonica

(supa supa kawaii mmo)

(sugoii neeeee~~~)

but still

I get the feeling like

more manual labor should be compensated in the form of sandwiches

because

1. it's a gat dam sammich

and 2.

that's probably all the mexicans want anyway

to get a nice flatbread pita

(that's what I ate)

(with my mouth)

(digestion followed)

(mastication)

...

(penis)

and I mean

if the mexicans are happy

we all get tidier lawns :\

which is good for everyone

so wait

I just figured

given my wording, I think it's been left ambiguous what was actually taking place in the phrase

"painting a bathroom"

and I'm sure that atleast a certain percentage of people

(dumb people)

were mixed up as to what I was referring to

*****s be wonderin

like

did I find a bathroom

prolly do some business

(I just got done digestin after all)

(poop jokes)

(who knows maybe I touched my penis, you don't know, don't judge me)

and then did I proceed to paint the walls of said bathroom

for the sake of it being a more aesthetically pleasing environment

in which to touch your penis too?

or you have to consider

was I struck with the great desire

the burning passion within

my roaring fist telling me to grasp victory

my love

my anger

and all of my sorrows

shiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

god damn painting of a bathroom?

like

if I just got really into it

got a canvas

read a book on how to be a buddhist

pray to buddha

so that when I kill mahself

I get reincarnated with cool as fuck painting abilities

and motherfucking paint like a fist of the north star?

8 straight days of painting

stopping only to eat delicious sandwiches

and to bang hot chicks

(all the hot chicks ever)

(I'd probably stop often then)

(....might be why it took 8 days)

but still

when I'm done you are left with the Mona Lisa of bathroom art

just a bathroom so beautiful it brings a tear to your eye

which is questionable because given the setting my painting would probably contain a man reading a newspaper taking a dump

or a 13 year old boy locking himself in there at 7am trying to masturbate while his sister is banging on the door telling him to hurry up because she needs tampons and it's almost time to leave for school and what the hell is taking so long and he's just shouting at the door "shut up I'm brushing my teeth" but we all know he's not brushing his teeth because brushing your teeth doesn't sound like skin slapping against other skin

...

my childhood aside, you would still totally cry woman tears

also if you were wondering

it was totally the first one lol

we just painted the walls and stuff because idk I guess he needed a better color to shit to

it was blue before

and I dunno, maybe blue reminded him of

hmm

whale penis?

definitely whale penis

so he's like we need to paint dis and I'm like

*sunglasses*

awwwwriiiiiiiiight

so we had to pick a color and the first thing he pulls out is

"Egg-Shell White"

and I look him directly in the eyes and say

"I dun like eggggs on mah face :|"

so fuk dat shyt, we decided to go with

uhh

I don't know what it was called but when it was done it kinda looked brown

so I guess it was appropriate

we were gonna invite our other friend over to help

(see: do most of the work)

but ***** got his wisdom teeth taken out

you know, like a bitch does

real men will their teeth to stay straight cause we ain't gay

on that note, the new slang word for describing when a sort of illicit substance is particularly enjoyable is now "gay"

feel free to mix it up with some enhancement words like "mad gay"

some prospective scenarios include conversation such as

"dooood, chad, brooooooo, this natty ice is mad gay, you gotta butt chug this maaaaang"

or

"oh god I'm tripping balls over this LSD it's so gay, I can see forever"

umm

what was I talking about again

oh yeah so we also had to repaint the ceiling

cause his ceiling was ugly as **** and ***** needed to get cleaned up

so we gave it a new coat of white paint

(not egg-white though)

(remember)

(i dun like eggggsss on mah face)

you really should have seen this ceiling though

was so white, it was like God came down in a golden chariot

bearing Billy Mays

(good night, sweet prince)

and Billy Mays just oxy-clean'd the everloving fuck out of this ceiling

like God just blew a huge load on it was like "oh my bad" but we're like "no it's cool God, we wanted it white anyway"

you know what happens then?

Bro Grabs.

God tries to grab my ass and I can't have none of that

so I get out my de-sexing stick

and I wave it around most un-sexily

and God backs the fuck down

de-sexing stick never fails to kill the sexiness in any moment

I need it sometimes because I arouse the ladies so much

and sometimes I just gotta be like

BITCH PLEASE

I AM TRYING TO PLAY PERSONA 4 HERE

CHIE-SAMA-SEMPAI IS LOW ON HP AND MY KUKURI-HIME NEEDS TO USE MADIARAHAN

YOU AND YOUR STUPID VAGINA CAN WAIT

*de-sexing stick*

man

women and their clown-car vaginas

amirite men?

they're always like

whine whine whine whine

PERIOD

why don't we ever talk

do you think my labia looks like a blooming cherry blossom

NO WOMAN IT LOOKS LIKE A PITBULL ATTACKING A JAR OF MAYONNAISE

I WILL PRAY TO BUDDHA AND REINCARNATE MYSELF AS A YEAST INFECTION

SO THAT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

and then she'd make me a sandwich

...

oh man

I never told you what my sandwich was, did I?

ohmegawohmegawohmegaw

so, it was a sesame ginger chicken sandwich with romaine lettuce and string carrots on a whole-wheat toasted flatbread

*****, you would sell your balls for this god damn sandwich

hell, I would turn gay for it

like if that sandwich just...

had a big 'ol man-ass

I would be all up in that because it would just be so effin good

I wanted to motorboat the contents of that sandwich

but I was so busy eating it

with my face

it was totally worth it in the end

and I would do it a thousand times over for the same reward in the end

and you know, I just might

because tomorrow....

the same friend asked me if I wanted to help him build a fence :]
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There you go.

Guardian Soul · Mar 20, 2010

I lol'd so hard at that. It's almost impossible to not laugh at that.

Boy Wonder · Mar 20, 2010

Captain Hero said: ↑

There you go.
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I'd have sex with you.

Captain Hero · Mar 20, 2010

Then my job is done. God, I miss that glorious hunk of forum anus.

Fayt-Harkwind · Mar 20, 2010

Guardian_Soul said: ↑

I lol'd so hard at that. It's almost impossible to not laugh at that.
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Indeed. I read it without laughing.

Captain Hero · Mar 20, 2010

Fayt-Harkwind said: ↑

Indeed. I read it without laughing.
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Probably because you're not normal and wield the ability to not laugh at ancient posts.

Sabby · Mar 20, 2010

DPWolf said: ↑

[ Make me laugh. ]
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Why the hell should I ? >:

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Hey KHV, I have a challenge for you.

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