Growing Up

Dear KHV,
Usually I'd go to a male role model for this type of question. But seeing as how most of you here are from my generation or are generation ahead or behind. I've decided to tally that with the fact that Jayn trusts you to pose my question here.

The Scenario: At the urging of my Jayn, I've taken a bath for the first time in years. How long has it's been? I don't remember anymore. Anyway after realizing how relaxed I felt and that I must try baths more often(because showering has dominated my memories of bathing). I felt something that I am currently struggling with as the water drained itself when I pulled the stopper. I started thinking of when grabbing a few toys and making them crash into each other as I acted out and narrated a story was the greatest thing in the world. For moments I wanted to get up and do so. But I didn't want to be childish. I am struggling heavily with growing up. I am legally a 19 year old. But I am still a kid who's trying to become a man.

Is that urge to grab a few toys and play with them like old times just nostalgia? Or is it me reverting back to my childishness. A thing I fear is losing touch with the child in me but also I fear that childish side becoming to dominate to the point where I can't even keep a potential job because I'm kidding around to much or something immature like that. Hell, I suppose I don't even have a question. I'd just really like some advice, please.

PS: Bring the rules of the Help With Life section to your posts.

 

It is probably nostalgia. We all have those moments in our lives and that isn't a problem. I mean if you don't act mature then just try to be more serious. If you are attempting to "change yourself" it won't happen overnight. Keep in mind though that even the most childish people can be very very serious it just depends if the scenario calls for it or not. Plus the whole "being a man" thing is way to broad at this point. Pretty much all I can tell you is be serious when it is time to and joke around when it is not. Last but not least just be yourself. You don't need to change because society is telling you to.

 

Oh trust me, it's normal. I do act childish quite a lot. When my nephew comes around I always enjoy letting out my inner child and playing with him, it just feels nice. I think it's maybe a longing to have life back as it was when it was simple with little hurt. That's how it is for me, to be honest I can switch between my sensible side and immature side quite quickly and as long as you know which one to be for different situations you should be fine.

You can still become a man and enjoy the simlper, playful parts of life. My Dad is still quite immature at times and it's amusing, he won't pick up Action figures and start playing with them regualrly but if he got them out he'd probably still play around with them... just to remember. He is at the same time a very grown up individual who works hard, he is one of those people who can get a job easily- he isn't stopped by his childish side. My point is I think we all have an inner child, it's what we should let out and use and exercise to make life more fun, otherwise it;s just boring facts, numbers, work and all that xD So don't worry, you are normal.

 

I'm also 19, and I know exactly what you mean with this. My house's attic has been cleared out recently, bringing a lot of toys back into the open, most of which I hadn't seen in almost a decade. The first thing I did? Put together the Zords from a Power Rangers set, just because I could again. It's perfectly normal to have the urge to do things that would be seen as 'childish', because the real part of 'growing up' is just learning to balance enjoyment with neccessity.

 

What you're feeling is perfectly normal.

Think of it as a phase, kind of like some people try drugs, kids experiment with each other's bodies, etc
It doesn't make them weird, it makes them normal.

True, not all of us do it, but if we do it, it's normal.

Anyway, as long as you don't act childish in public, unless it's instructed to do so for whatever situation, you're fine.

 

Ah, just a bit of nostalgia. I occasionally do some things like this too. Don't be ashamed of it, it's perfectly normal.

 

I have a lot respect for people who who do not grow up. What is the point in growing up, living simply to continue your existence? I would not worry about your mental stability, but I would not try to suppress your feelings and impulses, either. There is no right way to live your life, and you should not conform to society just because you are afraid of not fitting in with either gender or age-based stereotypes. Especially in your home, you need to feel free. Do not stress over things like growing up, or you will lose any chance of mental stability. It is not healthy to force yourself into any mindset if your emotions run against it. You need to resolve them normally, or you will have what is called repression. It will make you die sooner, among other things.

 

Great advice has been given here today. I suppose I've been wanting/trying to supress my childishness. What I know that I want now is to learn and find the balance between seriousness and childishness. Thank you all.

 

I know how you feel, I still play with my transformers and even buy them and sometimes watch old PR episodes because of the nostalgia and the cheesyness. I like to express my inner child not lock it up forever just because Society says so. The point is that you need to have a balance. Joke, play with toys, be happy. But not to the point where it dominates your life, know when to get serious, take action, and be mature when the time calls for it. It's a lesson I learned the hard way.