GirlFriend/Boyfriend Help thread

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by willi_211191, Nov 1, 2007.

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  1. Repliku Chaser

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    Some girls have a very protective nature and also just don't trust guys much. Usually it means that either she's very dominant and controlling and mistrusting and trying to guilt you, OR that she is very co-dependent, wants someone to be there and has a low self-esteem, but acts tough.

    There's nothing wrong with talking to other girls if you are dating and after having gone out with a girl that tried to control my 'habits' of being friends with anyone and hanging around with whoever I wanted, I can say I did the smart thing and when she 'dumped me' for talking to two girls I had known for 5 years, I told her 'thank you'. There honestly was no way to make her happy and just be around only her all the time and certainly I don't think people should feel guilty about having any friends as those are hard to come by. Guys and girls that do this jealousy thing need to grow up because I really don't think 'jealousy' is a real part of love, despite how some movies and books all try to act like it is. If someone has a decent self-esteem and isn't either depressed all the time or arrogant, they would know that life can't just be centered around a girl/boyfriend. Married people have to get out and go hang with other friends now and then. Otherwise the marriage will just get really dull.

    Now, I'm curious why you say this. You said above she was a friend, so if she was just a friend, what has changed now? Did you 'like' her before? I'd actually think this through and see if your feelings are right in all this. Just breaking up with someone and then asking the girl who you said was just a friend prior seems like you are either listening to this girl you went out with and doing it as a thing of she told you to, out of revenge or because you were actually interested in this girl before. So think on it, because the last thing you want to do is use this other girl as a 'fill-in' for a break up and you'd want to actually be genuine on it before making a move like that. That would be my suggestion any way because as JustaNobody said, it does give the impression of being a drifter, and it also kind of contradicts what you said earlier.
     
  2. JustANobody Twilight Town Denizen

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    Thank you. It does contradict,though. You were just talking to her,now debating whether or not to ask her out...

    OBJECTION! D:<

    (lol,Phoenix Wright reference)
     
  3. daxma Hei Long: Unrivalled under the Heavens

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    If thats the case then leave her to her small mindedness and jealousy.You can get another girl.I know this guy(he's a sc*mb*g) and his girlfriend broke up with him.She tries to get back with him and while shes doing that shes spreading rumors about him,saying that he's desperate for her and that he got another girl pregnant.Some girls are worth the trouble but people that brake up with you for some non-sensical reason are not worth it.Start going out in public with other girls just to annoy her.Some girls and Guys are jealous when they see their Ex- with someone else.
     
  4. Advent 【DRAGON BALLSY】

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    Well my friend told me one of her friends told her she likes me (she's a very trustworthy friend, and I could tell she was flirting with me). I also would go out with her in a second; we're both into anime a little, and we just get a long really well. But one of her other friends who also knew about it told me her last boyfriend was a major ass to her and she may not be ready yet for another relationship. Not to mention she lives a good 30 minutes away from me. What should I do? I'm kinda torn here.
     
  5. kingdomhearts123 Traverse Town Homebody

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    well long post here guys so srry but. i had the same thin happen to me,if u see her sit next to u,talk to u, or just notice u dnt freak out cuz trust me i made out with plenty of girls lol. all u gotta do is just be urself, and hopefully shell see who u rlly are and then u might get a kiss, just stay on ur guard and keep ur chin up. like peter pan said just believe =]
     
  6. Advent 【DRAGON BALLSY】

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    Well my problem isn't approaching her- I'm perfectly comfortable talking to her. The problem is whether or not I should ask her out. Some of her friends were telling me to wait to ask her out (because of her ex) if I was planning on it (which I was once my friend told me that the girl liked me).
     
  7. The Lone Wanderer Twilight Town Denizen

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    Well, Advent, ask her. If she isn't ready, I'm sure she'll tell you.
     
  8. Advent 【DRAGON BALLSY】

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    Yea, I probably will just ask once I have some time.
     
  9. The Guy Destiny Islands Resident

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    My gf broke up with me one time for the SAME REASON. We got back together in like 2 or 3 weeks.
     
  10. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    the best you can do is ask her...=

    but give her space if she's not ready , its simple really.
     
  11. daxma Hei Long: Unrivalled under the Heavens

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    Advent as you said your comfortable talking al that stuff.You even said that you flirt which means shes interested aswell.Just go for it.
     
  12. Destined Working for WDW

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    girlfriend / boyfriend help is one thing....what about helping the guy who has to watch his best friend self destruct because her wedding is canceled a week before her wedding and she lives in New York and I live in the west and all i can comfort her is by saying that i'm sorry?
     
  13. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    umm, as in....his fiancee ditched her?

    why did he'?
     
  14. Zekushion Traverse Town Homebody

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    I suppose this would be catagorized as "girlfriend advice" considering the nature of the problem. Well, problems, actually.

    Okay. So there's this girl (for sake of not naming names, let's call her Crush) that I really like. I've been on friendly terms with her for a couple of years and we have plenty in common; we like a lot of the same music, games, movies and whatnot, we both like to write and draw. We click in so many ways and I would love to ask her out, but therein lies the one of the problems.

    I don't even know if Crush swings that way. I've picked up hints that she might be at least bi, but I'm afraid to ask her outright if she's bi or lesbian or what. I know she's had issues with guys in the past and that she doesn't trust men very well. I've thought about asking her sister, whom I met her through, about it, but there's the other problem. I have admitted to liking the sister that way in the past and Crush knows that. I don't want it to look like I want to date Crush because I can't date her sister.

    Any ideas on what I should do? Should I follow through and ask Crush out or just try to forget it?
     
  15. tofuman Twilight Town Denizen

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    well see you should ask her friends if she is bi or not. If you known her for a long time i think that you should bring her to a place that is calm or no one there and tell her about your feelings. Then you should go for it, if you don't do it soon she might be taking but i would say go for it and good luck. ;)
     
  16. daxma Hei Long: Unrivalled under the Heavens

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    Slip the question in "Imagine if we went out" and look at her response.That will allow you to make a decision on where you should go.
     
  17. Zekushion Traverse Town Homebody

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    If I knew any of her friends, I would do that. She's pretty reclusive and doesn't really talk to me about any other friends.

    I'm just a little nervous about asking her out, even if she is bi. I've never actually asked anyone out before. And I'm afraid of ruining the friendship we have.
    Then again, that's a pretty common fear. And usually, it turns out alright.

    I think I might try that. I'd just have to work up the nerve and manage to control my stupid rambling. Thanks, I'll keep the hint in mind. :)
     
  18. Advent 【DRAGON BALLSY】

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    Yea go for it! I like daxma's advice, that's a good idea.
     
  19. Xamad Traverse Town Homebody

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    Ok, have no idea whether you're a guy or a girl, but I'm going to just tell you what I'd tell anyone else in this position...

    The last thing you should be worried about is the sexuality of Crush & any possible relationship you would have with her. If I had to guess, she's probably had issues with her sexuality in the past & I wouldn't suggest mentioning it at all. If she wants you to know, then she will most likely tell you herself. So untill she confirms her sexuality either verbaly or in some other form of direct communication, then just assume that Crush is whatever she would be to have a relationship with you...

    That thing about the sister though is pretty tough. Look, it's ok to date someone you like reguardless of their relationship to someone else. Seeing as you're not dating her sister though, I see no reason why you can't date her. Crush probably won't make that assumption unless it's obvious, but she might struggle to deal with that fact.

    However, I strictly advise that if things don't work out with crush then you should forget about dating her sister. One of my friends was caught in that spot when his older brother started making moves on his ex-girlfriend...it was very hard for the both of them & he eventually started hitting on her A LOT of the time...which made it very hard for her to trust him...I was eventually able to talk to him & tell him that he should back off seeing as she dumped him & her patience was running out...I also told him that she might not have kept him around for very long, but that's her loss and his gain...truth be told this guy is the school stud and he can get any girl he wants if he tries...I just gotta warn him not to be too clingy...poor guy...

    hope I was either helpful or entertaining... :)
     
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