generic fanfiction generator

OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS :v

 

1000 Guitar Solo Velociraptors

Artemis paced noisily back and forth. Large dread filled his heart. Butler should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my unusual love, Artemis thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Butler had been taken hostage by Gregarious Crotch, a supervillain who had the city in a state of magical terror. Artemis fainted dead away, like a buzzsaw, cheerfully cutting apart flesh in a most socially acceptable manner..

When he came to, there was a bump on his eyebrow and the large dread had returned. "Butler, my British honey bunny," he cried out secretly. "What is Gregarious Crotch doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing happily as he raped him in the hair.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Artemis remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 guitar solo velociraptors, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Artemis ordered in a supply of guitar solo and set to work, folding velociraptors until his eyebrow was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last velociraptor when Butler walked in the front door.

"Butler!" Artemis screamed and threw himself into Butler's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 guitar solo velociraptors and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on a glacier. He kissed Butler angrily on the hair.

"Actually," Butler said, pulling away surprisingly, "I was rescued by the Holy Spacetime. He's a new superhero in town." Butler sighed. "And he's really beastlike."

The large dread came back. "But you're horny to be back here with me, right?"

Butler checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Holy Spacetime for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay undead, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Artemis choked back a sob and started folding another velociraptor. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

 

This did'nt come out right.

 

To Softly Stab

Gary Stue and Mary Sue were celebrating a normal Valentine's Day together. Gary Stue had cooked a disgusting dinner and they ate in my house by candlelight.

"My darling," Mary Sue said, stroking Gary Stue's eye, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Gary Stue. "It is but a shiny token of my pretty love."

Gary Stue opened the box. Inside was a scary goo! He gazed at it slowly. Then he gazed at Mary Sue slowly. "It's dead," Gary Stue said. "Come here and let me stab you."

Just then, a sad crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a generic metaphor. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a handsome voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Mary Sue read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other sharply as the crone cackled some more. Gary Stue's soul began to tremble. Then Mary Sue shrugged, pulled out a self, and hit the crone on her heart. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Gary Stue said and kissed Mary Sue hardly. "This is an angry Valentine's Day!"

They quickly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they shot each other all night long.

 

Oh my, this is hilarious xD

 

Well wow that was funny.

 

Huh. So this is what happens when you type in random awesome words:

 

Xddddd d

 

I decided to mess around with it, this is the result:

 

I died! This thing is hilarious! XDD

Apparently Steve is a girl. Oops.

 

LOL xD .

 

I think Sturtheim Reinbach III is confused.