I waited until I'd gotten the full picture to say anything because I wasn't sure what to think. To be completely honest with you I still don't know what to think. The technical aspect of your writing definitely puts you ahead, but as interested as I was in finishing this I didn't really care what happened. This piece was more notable for its intensity and form than for its base story or characters. Told a moderately interesting story in a very interesting way I suppose. That's pretty much all I can say without wondering what I'm talking about. Whatever, I suppose. Not like any crit you'd get from me would be worth the time it takes to read it. I had fun, hope you did too.