I've known this guy for years, he helped me through a lot of rough ****. Including a lot of personal stuff and I helped him through all his problems. We even called ourselves bro and sis after a while because of how close we got. Recently I haven't spoken to him because he/I seemed either horrendously busy, or when I spoke about my recent problems at work/home, he got angry that I didn't take an invite to live with him or get a better job despite the horrendous economy around here. I spoke to him after about four months of not talking to him recently, he basically was pissed I haven't been around, he said he's found more friends now and he was looking for more. He still saw us as friends, but he didn't want that, he wanted more. EDIT: He's also been having a horrendous time himself. For about a year now to be fair. I told him how I felt, how sometimes I felt the same, but didn't want to ruin it between us. I didn't tell him that I honestly didn't want a relationship right now, the last one I had was crushing to me, and I realized after it that I needed time to regroup and mature and get more stabilization emotionally. He left after talking about how he gave me a "fair opportunity" and how I knew his "desires and wants." I honestly didn't know how to reply to something like that... It hurts like hell to lose him, though. Really hurts.
The only criticism I have for you is that you should've told him you weren't looking for a current (romantic) relationship and give the reason why, like you did here. Not saying things would turn out differently, but I'd say the history you two shared would've tipped him to be a little more considerate than being upset for not getting what HE wanted. Regardless, good on you for not being pressured into a relationship you believe/know you're not ready for. Way I see it, better to be miserable alone than risk being miserable together (with each other...whatever). I know losing a close friend is pretty hard, but sometimes circumstances just get in the way and those tough decisions just have to be made. Don't try to dwell on the "what ifs" either because the grass always looks greener on the other side and all that jazz. Really, focus on what YOU want and what YOU desire, Sara. If somewhere down the line you two do get to more stable states in your lives and get back to at least being the close friends you were, great. Otherwise, appreciate what friendship you had and don't think you can't have such a close connection with another person. (Now for the butt-kissing/uplifting bit xP) I see you as a respectable and mature adult, and I know you can get through this tribulation better than most because of that.
I kinda was in shock on how he threw it at me... To be honest... He basically gave me an ultimatum after ripping me a new one about not trusting me anymore because I never was on and never spoke to him and how he was no longer trusting me amongst other things. Including saying I was basically replaced with other friends. I probably would have if he didn't say that first. I'm not trying to defend, but I honestly didn't know what the hell to say at the end when he threw that out there. Thanks... I appreciate your kind words and take them to heart.
Yeah, that's what it seemed like to me. Still think you made the right call given the choices you had.
