Don't you just hate...

When you make up the girl who'd be perfect for you if only she were real? I think that's what happened to me with Katrina. She set fire to an abortion clinic. How can I NOT fall in love with that? Dammit.

 

LOCK FOR TROLLING

 

QUICK, CALL THE MEME TEAM!a

Spoiler

 

Chapter 2 of Katrina Changes the World should explain quite nicely.

Spoiler

And so after two days in school, Saturday came. I was glad to finally be away from Katrina after two more days with her. On Thursday we literally scoured all of Columbus looking for paranormal mysteries and on Friday we did a protest on an abortion clinic which might have been at least semi-normal if she hadn’t started giving out coupons to McDonald’s and Wendy’s in exchange for the promise not to get the abortion. We were successful in driving away many mothers and I felt proud of it, but we went home at midnight with none of my school supply shopping done.

So I woke up on Saturday morning to a normal day. I got up at noon after much encouragement from my parents as per my normal Saturday routine and proceeded to make lunch for myself. After lunch I went upstairs to my bedroom to get on the computer. A normal day. Then, for whatever reason, my parents decided to leave me home alone. My mom went to the IKEA in Cincinnati with my grandma and my dad went to Lowe’s to pick up some tubing for new gutters on his shed. So I continued my day as normal. Then I heard a knock on the door. Being wary, I carefully crawled down the steps and looked out the peephole to see none other than Katrina standing there with a worried and panicked look on her face. Naturally, I let her in. Almost immediately after she had enough room to get in she grabbed my arm and proceeded to drag me to my room and pushed me down on the bed before sitting in the chair to my desk, on the opposite wall to my bed, and began talking.

“AJ, can you hide me here for a few hours to the rest of the day? You know, just until it gets dark.”
Sighing, I worriedly replied, “Kat, what did you do this time?”
“Remember the abortion clinic we were protesting yesterday?” she asked rhetorically.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Well, today the police are after me because of something I did there.”
Uh-oh. “Just tell me what you did. I’ll hide you, but first tell me what you did to tick off the police.”
She though about it for a moment before finally giving me an answer. “Well…I kind of set fire to it,” she replied, a high pitched whine in her voice as she did.
“You did what!?” I yelled, standing up now, “What do you mean you set fire to the clinic!? Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten in?” At the moment I seriously felt like an angry father yelling at his daughter.
“Well I just wanted to show them that pro-life is serious business!”
“You idiot! Are you saying that you potentially killed all the people inside for the purpose of promoting a PRO-LIFE cause?”
“Of course not. I did it several hours before it was open for business. I’m not stupid.”
“And now the police are after you?”
“That’s right. But I didn’t lead them her or anything. I took an extremely out of the way route, so I doubt they could have followed me here,” she said with a huge grin on her face. It’s like she enjoyed evading the police like this.
“Okay fine, you can stay. Just go in the guest room and take a nap or something. I don’t want you to get caught up with anything huge and as a result draw attention to the house.” Now she was beaming.

“Thanks AJ, you’re the best!” she said with a huge grin on her face before casually hugging me and heading to the guest room like I instructed. Exhausted from the conversation, I plopped down on my bed for a nap of my own. Not even five hours in and I’ve already had too exciting of a day to handle. I fell asleep almost instantly and ended up dreaming about just what Katrina had done to set the clinic ablaze. Knowing her she probably made lines and symbols out of gasoline and then set a fuse to it so she could run away.

At three PM I woke up to find Katrina sitting at the side of the bed in the chair from my desk. I was startled and fell out of my bed into her lap, the inside of my knees landing on her legs and conveniently allowing me to stand up without getting too embarrassed. However, both of us were still blushing for the next couple of minutes. She quickly explained to me that my dad got home and then left again to go visit a friend of his who moved another city about a half hour away. I don’t know what was weirder, the fact that he trusted Katrina alone in our house with me sleeping, or the fact that he trusted me alone at home with a girl sitting AT MY BEDSIDE. But my concern wasn’t that at all. I asked, very calmly, “What are you doing in my room, and why did you put that blanket over top me while I was sleeping?”
“Well,” she replied, “I heard you yelling my name, so naturally I came in here to what was up. It turned out you were having a bad dream. So I put this blanket on you help you sleep and then stayed here to wake you if you started yelling again. It was the natural thing to do, you know, since we‘re friends.“
“Okay then, I guess I owe you my thanks. But what about my dad? Did he really trust me alone with you? And do your parents know that you’re here alone with me yet?”
Pressing her fingers to her lips, as if flirting, but I knew better, she said, “Yeah, I called my dad and he‘s cool with it.”
“And he trusts me?! What’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing. He knows that if you tried anything untoward,” she moved behind me and grabbed my waist, her left knee against my back ready to snap me like a twig, “I could put you intensive care before you had the chance to take it any further.”
“Your dad’s one smart guy.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” she said, releasing me from her death grip, “Makes me wish mom was still around though.”
“Really? What happened?”
“Well,” she hesitated, as if wondering if I could be trusted, “My mom left us about a year ago when my dad decided he wanted me to finish out high school in a place where he could trust my friends. A Catholic school like yours. But mom kept saying that I’d miss all my friends at my old school, despite it being literally just does down the street from my new school. I told her that I disagreed, but she wouldn’t hear it. She also said that we couldn’t afford it and that to pay tuition would drive us out of middle class straight down into the poorhouse. I was all for the new school, especially since I heard about the great special needs program. So she up and left.”
“Wait, why would you need the special needs program? You’re smart and seem at least more normal than myself in your ability to learn.”
“I don’t need it stupid! But people in the special ed program are so much more fun to be around. With a good program for that I can more easily find out who’s normal and who’s worth hanging out with. That’s why I like you so much. You’re not normal, and I can’t stand normal. It’s boring and lame.”
“Well said Katrina. Anyway, did my dad say when he was gonna be back?”
“No, as a matter of fact he didn’t.”
“Oh great. Well I’d best make us some dinner then.” We’d been talking for a good couple of hours and I was getting hungry, “You have anything you’d especially like?”
“Nah, whatever you feel like is good.”

So I made both of us each a bowl of Maruchan brand ramen. We turned on the TV in the living room and ate up. On Katrina’s request, I switched the channel to Nickelodeon, which was showing an old episode of Spongebob. At first I thought it was sort of silly, but eventually I started to see little jokes that I didn’t quite understand when I was a little kid. All in all we had a normal day hanging out, except for the reason Katrina came to me of course.

By six PM Katrina decided that she was bored. For reasons unknown even to myself, I didn’t want her to leave, so I offered her a game of Igo. Luckily, she had played it before, so I didn’t have to explain much. Unluckily for me however, she started getting the hang of it back after a few games and started killing me one game at a time. By the time I decided to move on to Abalone (which she killed me at too), she’d beaten me well over ten times in less than a half hour.

By the time my parents got home at nine PM, Katrina decided that it was a good time to leave. With all the excitement from today, I went upstairs, to take my shower and went to bed, positive that there would be more craziness involving Katrina on Sunday.

 

Real life ish boring on the internet >->

 

@Finale: This isn't real life. This is a story based on real life with the addition of a new character.

Perhaps just this segment then.
“AJ, can you hide me here for a few hours to the rest of the day? You know, just until it gets dark.”
Sighing, I worriedly replied, “Kat, what did you do this time?”
“Remember the abortion clinic we were protesting yesterday?” she asked rhetorically.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Well, today the police are after me because of something I did there.”
Uh-oh. “Just tell me what you did. I’ll hide you, but first tell me what you did to tick off the police.”
She though about it for a moment before finally giving me an answer. “Well…I kind of set fire to it,” she replied, a high pitched whine in her voice as she did.
“You did what!?” I yelled, standing up now, “What do you mean you set fire to the clinic!? Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten in?” At the moment I seriously felt like an angry father yelling at his daughter.
“Well I just wanted to show them that pro-life is serious business!”
“You idiot! Are you saying that you potentially killed all the people inside for the purpose of promoting a PRO-LIFE cause?”
“Of course not. I did it several hours before it was open for business. I’m not stupid.”
“And now the police are after you?”
“That’s right. But I didn’t lead them her or anything. I took an extremely out of the way route, so I doubt they could have followed me here,” she said with a huge grin on her face. It’s like she enjoyed evading the police like this.
“Okay fine, you can stay. Just go in the guest room and take a nap or something. I don’t want you to get caught up with anything huge and as a result draw attention to the house.” Now she was beaming.

“Thanks AJ, you’re the best!” she said with a huge grin on her face before casually hugging me and heading to the guest room like I instructed. Exhausted from the conversation, I plopped down on my bed for a nap of my own. Not even five hours in and I’ve already had too exciting of a day to handle. I fell asleep almost instantly and ended up dreaming about just what Katrina had done to set the clinic ablaze. Knowing her she probably made lines and symbols out of gasoline and then set a fuse to it so she could run away.

At three PM I woke up to find Katrina sitting at the side of the bed in the chair from my desk. I was startled and fell out of my bed into her lap, the inside of my knees landing on her legs and conveniently allowing me to stand up without getting too embarrassed. However, both of us were still blushing for the next couple of minutes. She quickly explained to me that my dad got home and then left again to go visit a friend of his who moved another city about a half hour away. I don’t know what was weirder, the fact that he trusted Katrina alone in our house with me sleeping, or the fact that he trusted me alone at home with a girl sitting AT MY BEDSIDE. But my concern wasn’t that at all. I asked, very calmly, “What are you doing in my room, and why did you put that blanket over top me while I was sleeping?”

 

Don't you love when the girl you liek seems like the perfect girl for you, and you don't have to go through that?

 

You're the perfect girl for me KS <333

 

Why were you screaming her name while you slept? .__.

...do i want to know?

 

Please don't, she will post several tl;dr posts that don't explain anything and, if you read them, will give you more brain damage than all of Ghetto's rap songs combined. Are you really ready for that?

 

I've met the perfect girl for me.

Unfortunately, she's apparently the perfect girl for someone else, too.

 

No comment except to say that I have no comment, which really seems counter productive.

You probably don't. But I'm gonna tell you anyway.

It's because I was having a nightmare and for whatever reason was wanting her to rescue me. It's a fictional story, so the dream wasn't even a real dream that I had.

@Christhor: I'm a guy.

 

DON'T DENY OUR LOVE!!! ;-;

Wait... You're a guy? Wow, that's unexpected, you used to be a chick though, right? I see no other way it's possible for you to be a guy than that you were born a chick...

 

I've met the perfect lass for me, too. <3

 

The perfect girl for me would be a sort of man girl... or more just like a man :D

Everyone you want is either
a) Gay
b) Taken
c) Fictional
d) Out of bounds -_-

It just sucks really

 

I would give you my fictional ideal boy but... sorry, he's mine! :P

I totally agree. Or, you get with them and then you find out they're total jerks and then you kinda want to punch them in the face or knock them out with a shovel...

 

Actually, it's only the last three.


@Christhor: I was a girl in the womb, and then I turned into a guy before I was born. At least that's how my niece explained it when she was three. XD