Child Discipline

like i said before kids need to be hit as hard as you possible can. with out this teckneque kids would do what ever the hell they wanted. so i say whip out your base ball bat and smack the kids with it or even better hit them with ninja stars and make them bleed out.

 

yes that is what i think as well

 

Well, I think that there are other ways of discipline, but a simple slap on the back of the hand does wonders. I voted yes on the subject, I got spanked when I was a little when I was bad, and now I know how to act in front of other people. Some kids are really rude these days though. I've seen those kids on those nanny shows Their cussing at there parents!!!!If I ever did that, I would get slapped.

 

bump....i wna discuss this topic again and i wna see wat members who weren't here b4 when it was active think about it. and no, i not doing to to be "cute" or "funny"

 

I have mixed feelings on spanking children. Coming from an abusive household where my mother beat the tar out of me until I was 12/13, ran away, and refused to just take it anymore, I can say that some people have no control. This woman would suffocate me with pillows over my face and beat on me, doing stupid stuff. She had no control and often it was because she was mad at my dad or being left alone all the time. Needless to say, now we don't associate with one another very much.

However, I have seen kids that are horribly spoiled because parents do not do anything to them in the lines of discipline and just let the kids walk all over them. This in turn leads to kids doing scenes like in the stores etc and a parent cannot -dare- to swat the kid on the rump gently or grab the kid's hands and hold them etc for fear of child services being called.

I cannot say myself, despite my upbringing, that I would not spank a child who is doing something particularly dangerous to him/herself or someone else, or smack a hand etc. I would not want the child to be -hurt- but if that kid is doing something that could potentially cause severe harm, I know what has to be done. I would never want to hit my child 'out of anger' which is where I believe the child abuse situation comes in. My mother as well as others who abused children, were always enraged and furious. They would say later they 'had no control' and be all anxious etc. I would never want to discipline my kid without 'control'.

So, my discipline would mostly be like this...

1. Small things - no way would I hit a kid. Part of raising a kid is teaching them ethics and how to be in control yourself. If I was that mad at them, I'd probably pass the duty over to my significant other or try to relax first before dealing with it by giving them time-out or sending them to their room so I can get myself in the right mood. I don't see this as a problem though because regularly I'm pretty calm and have worked with kids for years.

2. Things that harm others such as beating someone up or being really rotten or putting someone's life in peril, like the kid is trying to set fire to things etc... I may have to but it would depend on the situation. If I felt talking would work, I'd use it. If it's a repeated pattern, yes, I would spank the child and/or be focusing on that habit to break them out of it. I would never just spank a child though and not say what it was for and what they need to learn.

Also, I want to clarify I'd never consider hitting a child anywhere but the bottom dollar. And I'd also not use some instrument i.e. a belt, to do such. Really, in the end it all depends what the kid does. I was not a -bad- kid so I don't think my kid would be too horrible either. Here's to hoping heh. I don't believe that all kids 'need' spanked and that if discipline is started early, you may not have to hit them at all, but for more serious things, kids don't learn their bad habits just at home. They can get them from friends at school too and socialization that is poor quality. This is why parents need to just pay attention and not get furious if they can help it.

 

RIGHT ON DUDE!!!Yeah.I believe that too.I mean,childs often don't understand with words,so the next thing to do is...SPANK,SPANK,SPAAAAANK!Am i evil or what...?

-__-

 

Rule number one - Never spank when you're angry.

I think some parents just jump right into spanking when their child does something wrong. I don't have any of my own but I've learned enough and seen enough to be able to say this. They don't explain what the child did wrong, didn't bother with time out, it's just a swat to the backside when the parent gets upset with them.

I think I only got spanked once or twice when I was a kid and my mother would then explain why I got spanked. And when I nodded that I understood I'd get a hug.

That's another thing, kids know when they've done something bad. Spanking just makes them feel worse. When my mother hugged me she made me feel better.

Spanking should only be done when you've exhausted all other options. Explaining doesn't work, Time out doesn't work, warnings don't work. If that is your only option left to you, fine, but if you're rolling angry, don't. Calm yourself down first.

I think I'd send them to a guest bedroom. Sending them to their room doesn't work. All their toys are in there. Not to mention the room becomes a punishment( when overused) and when bedtime comes, they don't want to be in there. A guest bedroom or another room without stimulation.

Physical punishment should only be a last resort and if you resort to it too much, maybe you need to find another method that works. Not all kids are the same. I was relatively easy as far as discipline went since I didn't really do anything.

I think mothers and fathers need to explain before anything else. Say your little one has spilt milk on the kitchen table. Don't yell right away. Say, 'Well you made a good try but let Mommy pour milk for you next time.' And then have them help you clean the mess up.

 

yea but i think that far too many parents aren't punishing their kids when they do bad things, and worse sometimes they make excuses for them

 

Well said, Laurence Fox. I agree with everything you posted. You may have to discipline the child with a spanking, but it should be when all other options have been exhausted and not when the parent is not in control due to rage or anxiety.

 

I think children should be spanked either on the behind or hit on the back of the hand when they do something bad. Then when they think about doing it again they will remember the pain. But it has to be consistant, meaning hitting them every time they do something bad and only when they do something bad. Also, it should not be causing permanent marking. It should be enough to cause pain but not so hard you are actually trying to hurt them.

 

totally agree with above statement

 

The voting options are too extreme. Positive reinforcement and the removal of reinforcers have a better effect on the child psychologically and behaviourally than just smacking them when they get out of line. The point is to establish that you/the parent are the ones that are in control, all the while still maintaining the role of a parent/guardian. Hitting has a very high chance of making the child think you hate them and damages the parent-child social relationship.

 

Yea, what he said!

 

Children need to get beat to learn their lesson

 

Nah they just need to learn who's in charged. It's a shame most parents don't have the balls to do so.

 

Agreed, some more the child would have remember the pain and revenge on you some days

 

My mom used to spank me every other day or so when I was young. And I hated it. And I hated her. It made me want to prove that I could do something right.

I used to push my friends away and hate them just because they got a higher grade then I did on a test. Even when I got like an A- I would get really mad with my self. I remember when I would stay up all night studying and then do the test and then find out I got like one or two wrong out of 20 questions and break down about it. It made me feel worthless. Then my mom would shout at me and it just made it worst. Then as I got older, I isolated myself from everyone, studying everyday, just to do something right. I was almost begging to hear a good praise from her since she barely gives any.

Later on, it took me a while, but I learned to except mistakes and to know that I'm not stupid or worthless. I slowly opened up and I learned to fight back. I got my friends, my life and everything back. Now everytime I see a B+, I would be ok about it.

My mom doesn't beat me anymore, but we still get in fights once or twice. It's gotten better, but there are those tense moments when it's only she and I in one room. I don't hate her anymore, but I don't love her to death.

 

yes i KNOW the voting options are too extreme, ppl told me that a year ago when i made this thread, lol. there's nothing i can do about it now. but plz vote to the closest of your opinions. also, i don't think spanking is nesscarily bad, becuz some kids obviously need to be spanked to become a better person

 

As I have observed myself, being verbal with a kid or putting them in time-out does NOT affect them too much. Society is becoming very... how should I put it... visually learning like? It's not enough to type at someone or yell at them. We look for pictures and want to feel with our sense of touch rather than listen or read words. Children don't respond to verbal lectures anymore. I know sure as hell I don't.

A nice, sharp feeling in a kid's rump is enough to keep them from doing too much more harm. :/ I don't support beating the shnikes out of them with a pan or anything. A whack once or twice with a firm palm or a profound thump on the head does the trick just fine.

 

Yes, sometimes kids will not listen to a verbal lecture and make sure after a while to let you know it's a humdrum boring old 'lecture' with rolls of the eyes or they'll just come out and tell you so and that they don't care. Time Out works for little kids..and only so well too.

So, sometimes I do think that you have to swat a kid on the hand or on the rump to show that kid you are -very serious- about them not doing something that could cause harm to him/her or someone else. Each kid is different so some may just adhere to the words spoken and positive reinforcement. Others are more stubborn and even animals in the wild, when their kids are doing something dangerous, will grab them and bark or growl or give them a bat of a paw. Of course, this doesn't mean someone should beat the tar out of a kid, but I can say that a swat on the rump really can get it through when words just aren't enough.