Innit: Hello. Innit: I have HIV, Hepatitis C AND Rabies! Innit: Please could you give me your dog so i can have sexual intercourse with it. Innit: I am a stupid, fat ass of a chav. Innit: I hate you because you are better than me. Innit: I hate pond life because it is better than me. Innit: I did not pass my GCSEs/I was expelled two years before i had a chance to take them. Innit: I am in fine possession of an ASBO. Innit: If it is better to exist than not exist, and God is perfect, does that not mean God exists? Innit: Good evening fine sir, could one be so ostentatious as to ask a fine gentleman/madam as yourself to part ways with your currency? Innit: Excuse me my good sir, are you searching for a slap to the face? Innit: Do you subscribe more to an empiric or rationalist school of thought, my good man? Innit: I believe I have obtained the sole rights to sexual congress with this woman, and if you do not stop looking at my esteemed female partner here, I may be required to place my fist in your visage. Innit: Aren't these big hoop earrings just lovely? Innit: Just when will the government enforce a socialist regime, that is, a socialist regime within a democratic state? Innit: I haven't got anything interesting to say. Innit: I am pregnant/have got someone pregnant. Innit: I'm too ******ed to learn an instrument so I will proceed to swear along to a mixed version of the famous 1985 song 'girls just wanna have fun' I illegally downloaded from an internet porn site. Innit: I am too thick to get a job, so I will now proceed to steal all your cash/possessions Innit: Can you direct me to where I obtain a car body kit, big boy spoilers and chrome alloys for my 1987 Ford Escort, prithee? Innit: Would you be so kind as to purchase an alcoholic beverage for me? I am awfully thirsty. Innit: Why yes, today is a rather splendid day for a walk in the park, I'll make the picnic, you go steal us a car. Innit: I am currently employed at a McDonald's franchise. Innit: I am currently employed at a supermarket (part time). (don't bother learning those two - you're unlikely to meet a chav with a job) Innit: I am currently unemployed. Innit: I live in a council shed in Middlesborough. Innit: I have no idea who my child's father/mother is. Innit: I say sir, touch me again and I'll be forced to take appropriate actions by reconstructing your face. Innit: Please place all the money you possess in my hand within the next 7 seconds or I will be forced to perform the well known 'Pimp slap' maneuver on the right hand side of your face. Later this day I will either hand the money to my drug dealer who has been asking "Where's my money?" over and over for the past 4 and a half months, or I will use it to buy a 3 litre bottle of cheap cider from my local Aldi. Innit: I got my 12 year old sister pregnant. Twice!
