So I am doing this in hopes that it will push me to continue writing this story. At the time I was super hyped to write it, and I still am, but I get distracted easily. I am no where near the end and I passed the deadline I set for myself, so now I am trying to find another way to keep myself accountable and I also want to write another story at the same time. I need to finish one before starting the next. I plan on posting a new chapter every Wednesday, at least one chapter. I am 17 "chapters" in so far but barely feel like I am anywhere. There is so much more to write, so much more I want to share, I just need someone to hold me accountable, and hopefully this will help. Since it isn't a Wednesday I will leave you with the prologue. Prologue The road to hell is paved with good intentions. That is how the saying goes, but no one realizes just how true it is until there is a pain burning in your eternal soul. It isn’t a physical pain, no I can’t feel that anymore, but the emotional pain, and the separation, it burns deep inside me. His laugh still echoes in my mind, the shedding of the skin that I knew. I had to watch him kill my friend, thinking that what he was doing was for the good of our world, thinking it was what it took to save our world from the demons, but that wasn’t the case. It was me, this was my fault, I collected those skulls and brought them together. I failed to save my friend so he is likely also stuck in the same state as me. I could have… I should have saved him sooner, I should have done more, and I never got the chance to apologize to Tallak, for failing him. I was a cleric, it was my job to keep my friends alive, like it was theirs to keep me safe, but I failed. I pray that Saitama found peace. I pray to Torm that his sacrifice let his soul be released to go beyond and that Torm’s blessing falls upon him, that he is not trapped like I am, tied to a creature of the dark that I cannot control. If I could cry, I would, I would cry for all who I have failed. I would cry for Terry, who we never returned to like we promised, who tried so hard just to keep his bar open and running and was always there for us despite everything we brought his way. Apparently I wasn’t the first dead body that was brought to his inn and brought back to life. Saitama was there before me in the same situation. I was impressed, by the end not even bringing in my pet dragon had sent him running. Oh Tseng, I wonder what happened after death. I wanted to bring him back, I had the daimons ready for the ritual, all I needed was time, but death found me too quickly after. Did he reincarnated back at the proving grounds? The place that I had first rescued him from after defeating the adult version of him? Did his soul get released and he found peace? I am just glad that I didn’t ask Arcturus to take care of him and leave him at his house like I first planned. To have that thing… to leave Tseng with that. Under the incorrect guidance it would bring terrible destruction, though that seems inevitable now. What was released upon the earth, I don’t think it is even in the same plain of existence from what I grew up with. If I could have I would have sent him to Allen, another man who had gone through so much and helped us despite everything that he had to go through with us. Three months. We had disappeared for three months together after our ship was wrecked by pirates and our gold taken. We had found our way into the Feywilds, where we had to save it from a creature corrupting it, taking life from the tree that sustained that world. What was no more than three days in the Feywild plus travel time. Over all from when we had left the north it should have taken only a week, but there we were three months later returning to Tulip Bay, it took a day before we realized how long we were gone. When Allen came running into the tavern we were staying at, talking about how his wife was freaking out. I gave him a necklace to help him make it up to his wife. I was going to have the refugees sent up to him, but the poor man has been through so much, I don’t know if he would have been able to handle all that, all those people showing up at his door, sent by two people he barely knew, just the only man who had agreed to take us through the passage to the north, all to find another skull, the same skull that I happen to be trapped in now. We lost a dear friend on that trip too. So much loss on this journey to save the world, only to bring destruction to it. Everything we did, all the sacrifices made, they were all in vain, they were all to do the very thing that we were trying to prevent, and now I am left stranded, trying to hold on to who I used to be by looping through my mind who I used to be, where this all began. Trying to remember the Arcturus I looked up to, admired above anyone else in my temple. Trying to remember the man who saved my life. I think… I think his soul was still trapped there. I think that he still lived, even with that demon, the moments we had, the hugs, when he brought me back. I refuse to believe that was fake, I refuse to believe that was all just part of his plan to get me here. He didn’t need me here and he didn’t need to threaten those around me to keep me safe. Perhaps if I was needed for the sacrifice, but no, Saitama took that upon himself. All this, why would he have done all this, keep me around? Why would he have come whenever I called and helped all ways that he could if he wasn’t there somewhere. I missed my Arcturus, my mentor, my teacher. I missed the temple I spent most of my life, the warm touch of Torm, I just want to go back. I want to be taken back to those days, I want to see my mother smile as I set off into the temple doors where an old man in grey robes awaited me.