An account of Purgatory, courtesy of Mark Z. Danielewski

This is a bit from House of Leaves that I thought I should share. Something sublimely dreadful about it, and now I can't get it out of my head. Haunting. More haunting than anything before or after. The context: a description of a dream had by one Will Navidson, during a series of night terrors.

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Mia Haven entitles her analysis of Dream #1: "Wishing Well: A Penny For Your Thoughts . . . A Quarter For Your Dreams . . . You For The Eons." Unfortunately, as her treatment is difficult to find and purportedly exceeds 180 pages, it is only possible to summarize the contents here.

As Haven recounts, Navidson's first dream places him within an enormous concrete chamber. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all veined with mineral deposits and covered in a thin ever-present film of moisture. There are no windows or exits. The air reeks of rot, mildew, and despair.

Everywhere people wander aimlessly around, dressed in soiled togas. Toward the centre of this room there lies what appears to be a large well. A dozen people sit on the edge, dangling, their feet inside. As Navidson approaches this aperture, he realizes two things: 1) he has died and this is some kind of half-way station, and 2) the only way out is down through the well.

As he sits on the edge, he beholds a strange and very disconcerting sight. No more than twenty feet below is the surface of an incredibly clear liquid. Navidson presumes it is water though he senses it is somewhat more viscous. By some peculiar quality intrinsic to itself, this liquid does not impede but actually clarifies the impossible vision of what lies beneath: a long shaft descending for miles ultimately opening up into a black bottomless pit which instantly fills Navidson with an almost crippling sense of dread.

Suddenly next to him, someone leaps into the well. There is a slight splash and the figure begins to sink slowly but steadily toward the darkness below. Fortunately after a few seconds, a violent blue light envelops the figure and transports it somewhere else. Navidson realizes, however, that there are other figures down there who have not been visited by that blue light and are instead writing in fear as they continue their descent into oblivion.

Without anyone telling him, Navidson somehow understands the logic of the place: 1) he can remain in that room for as long as he likes, even forever if he chooses—looking around, he can tell that some people have been there for thousands of years—or he can jump into the well. 2) If he has lived a good life, a blue light will carry him to some ethereal and gentle place. If, however, he has lived an "inappropriate life," (Navidson's words) no light will visit him and he will sink into the horrible blackness below where he will fall forever.

The dream ends with Navidson attempting to assess the life he has led, unable to decide whether he should or should not leap.

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Chilled me in particular because the feeling of sinking is one of my worst fears. I've nearly drowned twice, both as a child: once by accidentally wandering into the deep end of a pool, and once during an outing with the Cub Scouts where I jumped feet-first into a lake too abruptly for my water wings to stay on. I'm still a poor swimmer, so bodies of water in general unnerve me, especially when I can't see their depth. I also don't consider myself very "appropriate" by traditional Christian standards, which do still cling to me from my childhood. Forming my own morals has been a rocky process.

So, thoughts? Interpretations? What do you think is the significance of the chamber, and the mineral deposits lining the walls? of the people dressed in togas? of the well? Is it truly an image of Purgatory, or is there something deeper there? Does it scare you? Do you think you could make the best of things if you stayed in the chamber? And, perhaps the most important question: Would you jump?