Amethyst's Poetry Thread

Hey hey!

So I figured rather than posting individual poems on individual threads, I'll make a poetry thread! (Great idea, right?) :D

I wrote this one yesterday, cnc is very welcome!
-----------------------------------------------------------

​

MISTAKEN​

​

You saw them​

An aphotic chocolate​

Were they brown or black?​

Regardless, they were arrows.​

​

Aiming at your remains​

The final fragment​

Of the fabric​

That frayed​

Constantly​

Consistently​

​

Every breath you took​

Led you back there​

And your lungs​

Had exceeded their limit​

Your ribcage bruised​

With blindness​

With frustration​

With The Ache​

​

You see them now​

Darker than before​

Hiding a beast​

Mercy deceased​

...Or is it?​

​

All you see are knives​

But all I see is guilt​

Maybe we're both wrong​

And that was our flaw​

​

Still, I see yours​

A tranquil sapphire​

Masking joy or pain?​

Regardless, they were targets​

​

A bullseye in progress​

The blue would become​

The burgundy​

That bleeds​

Constantly​

Consistently​

​

You see the devil with daggers​

But inside​

Is a lonely, lost, little girl​

And all she wants is a hug ​

​

​

THE TEXT​

​

My only friend glowed​

Green symbols and your name​

The letters burned my eyes​

And bounced around my brain​

Crowded with questions​

Clouded with cautions​

I know all too well​

Your twisted, taunting game​

​

A quiet violence​

It sent a seismic wave​

My fingers, my arms, my nerves​

My aimless little veins​

Leading to hollow​

Seeking to borrow​

Never to return​

‘Its’ torn, tattered remains​

​

Only a handprint​

Pink refuses healing​

Prominent guilt reminds me​

My cheek should not have feeling​

Painted guilt with force​

Tainted with remorse​

A falsely accused​

Tempestuous twit, stealing​

​

Cavity had a cause​

A chest without a Beat​

A Boom​

A Break​

An Ache​

Lucky, demons can cheat​

Rhythm out of time​

Stanza out of rhyme​

Torture a heatless​

Until declared defeat​

​

A virtual code​

Hides an apology?​

Your regretful words​

Sign your psychology​

Demonic dream’s end​

I’ve changed into your friend​

Sudden change of heart​

Taught through technology​

​

Almost if instant​

The pain fades from my cheek​

And deep inside the hollow​

There’s a ​

Beat​

Beat​

Beat.​

​

​

​

FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE​

​

It was missing​

Supposedly degraded ​

In a raging flame​

Of Selfishness​

And Greed​

And Apathy​

And however else you had defined me​

​

My chest’s abyss​

Its absence defined me then​

My self worth dissolved​

Which satisfied​

Your Need​

And Desire​

To torture my remaining sanity​

​

The lightbulb sparked?​

Deep within your twisted mind​

It didn’t make sense​

When did that happen?​

And How?​

And Why?​

You really are delusional this time​

​

In this whole scene​

You were never to be blamed​

Nothing was yours​

It was my heart​

My fault​

My selfishness​

So naturally, I am the demon ​

​

But then you said​

In amongst my confusion​

‘You’re not a demon​

You are my friend​

So Breathe​

Exhale your stress​

So we can start again, for old time’s sake’​

​

IS IT A HURT?​

​

You watch a scene​

And glimpse a moment​

Accounting for your status​

Maybe the reasons aren't clear​

Yet​

But you can still feel it​

​

It was a look​

That reminded you​

Of the unforgivable​

A shriveled heart thrown to waste​

Yes​

No illusions this time​

​

Your stupid mind​

It pulled the trigger​

Sent an abundance of pain​

Through your soul, back to your chest​

How​

Does that make any sense?​

​

But is it a hurt?​

Or a pain of joy?​

Is it a sink?​

Or a jolt in the void?​

​

Then there was a kiss​

And the flashbacks flooded​

And your confidence frayed​

​

As did your ego​

As did your conscience​

As I was on the other line​

Vodka-soaked tears​

Revitalised my fears​

And in that instant I knew​

​

It wasn't your hurt​

It wasn't your pain​

It wasn't an act​

Of your memory-ridden brain​

It was a reminder of your mistake​

That only another fool could make​

​

And when that time comes, I'll feel sorry for him​

​

GREY

I only see my world in black and white
The present is a curse in my twisted little mind
Everything I see is grey, apart from your blue eyes
Is that because you're still alive?

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

Too much colour then something's not right
One more colour and I'll be blinded by light
Everything I see is grey, apart from your blue eyes
Is that because you're still alive?

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

You're a fragment that I kept in my mind
I really am delusional this time
You're a fragment in this little grey world of mine

You're a fragment of hope in my day
You're a part that will never go away
You're a fragment of colour in my grey

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

​

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

I had to read it a second time to get a better feel of it. Good use of some literary techniques, alliteration and imagery that gives you some god poetic feelings.

It was quite fast and felt a bit stop and start. That's probably because of the short lines you've been using, which speed it up, but yeah I liked the imagery. And I think I get the general story element of it, the arrows and knife imagery is quite interesting.

Anyway, good poem. I liked reading it! : )

 

Much like PaW, I read it twice in order to get some clarity out of it. That's not a bad thing in this case, since the poem itself was a pleasure to read. I like how you seldom describe emotions as such, and how you portray them in numerous metaphorical ways instead. It makes the poem more challenging but also more interesting to read. I like this piece.

Good of you to replace your individual threads with one larger one. Helps keep things tidy, I guess.

 

Thankyou both for your lovely comments :)

UPDATE!!!!!!


The Text:

Spoiler

My only friend glowed
Green symbols and your name
The letters burned my eyes
And bounced around my brain
Crowded with questions
Clouded with cautions
I know all too well
Your twisted, taunting game

A quiet violence
It sent a seismic wave
My fingers, my arms, my nerves
My aimless little veins
Leading to hollow
Seeking to borrow
Never to return
‘Its’ torn, tattered remains

Only a handprint
Pink refuses healing
Prominent guilt reminds me
My cheek should not have feeling
Painted guilt with force
Tainted with remorse
A falsely accused
Tempestuous twit, stealing

Cavity had a cause
A chest without a Beat
A Boom
A Break
An Ache
Lucky, demons can cheat
Rhythm out of time
Stanza out of rhyme
Torture a heatless
Until declared defeat

A virtual code
Hides an apology?
Your regretful words
Sign your psychology
Demonic dream’s end
I’ve changed into your friend
Sudden change of heart
Taught through technology

Almost if instant
The pain fades from my cheek
And deep inside the hollow
There’s a
Beat
Beat
Beat.

 

I have to say this is some of the best, if not the best, work i've seen on this site. The way you word your poems and the way you set them up is breathtaking to say the least. There is no bad criticism I can even give you. To say without any better way, you blew my mind. I don't know if i've read any of your work before and simply overlooked it, but you are definitely a lyrical genius.

 

UPDATE!!!!
Both poems in this update are fairly cliche IMO, so I don't like them very much, but they are my work, so enjoy them anyway!!

BREATHE

Spoiler

[I wrote these lyrics a while ago, enjoy!]

(Verse 1)
It's like math
One plus one equals no one
Two halves and a setting sun
A cliche romance that wont
Exist with us

Like a dream
Reality is for thinkers
Thoughts slipping through the fingers
An optimistic dream that won't
Exist with us

(Pre-Chorus)
Regardless
I will find you in a crowd
Amongst a silent chaos of sound
I will find the words
If they don't find me first
But all I will do is

(Chorus)
Breathe
The words never came
There's nothing to say
You're walking away
'Cause you wont stay with

Me.
I wasted your time
You said you don't mind
You spoke to me
But I'll respond when I can do more than
Breathe.

(Verse 2)
It's like art
Seven colours of the human heart
Follow it back to the start
A cliche romance that won't
Exist with us

Like a storm
Lightning flashes and you change your thought
Thunder rolls and I begin to talk
An optimistic dream that wont
Exist with us

(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)

FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE

Spoiler

It was missing
Supposedly degraded
In a raging flame
Of Selfishness
And Greed
And Apathy
And however else you had defined me

My chest’s abyss
Its absence defined me then
My self worth diffused
Which satisfied
Your Need
And Desire
To torture my remaining sanity

The lightbulb sparked?
Deep within your twisted mind
It didn’t make sense
When did that happen?
And How?
And Why?
You really are delusional this time

In this whole scene
You were never to be blamed
Nothing was yours
It was my heart
My fault
My selfishness
So naturally, I am the demon

But then you said
In amongst my confusion
‘You’re not a demon
You are my friend
So Breathe
Exhale your stress
So we can start again, for old time’s sake’

 

Hiya people!

So I know I haven't been updating, and I'm very sorry. But I have a new poem! :)

Is it a hurt?

Spoiler

You watch a scene
And glimpse a moment
Accounting for your status
Maybe the reasons aren't clear
Yet
But you can still feel it

It was a look
That reminded you
Of the unforgivable
A shriveled heart thrown to waste
Yes
No illusions this time

Your stupid mind
It pulled the trigger
Sent an abundance of pain
Through your soul, back to your chest
How
Does that make any sense?

But is it a hurt?
Or a pain of joy?
Is it a sink?
Or a jolt in the void?

Then there was a kiss
And the flashbacks flooded
And your confidence frayed

As did your ego
As did your conscience
As I was on the other line
Vodka-soaked tears
Revitalised my fears
And in that instant I knew

It wasn't your hurt
It wasn't your pain
It wasn't an act
Of your memory-ridden brain
It was a reminder of your mistake
That only another fool could make

And when that time comes, I'll feel sorry for him

 

As always your work is amazing ^_^ I almost burst into tears while reading this. You let the emotions show through, soaking into the readers. And I loved the first three verses, the parts where you would just use one word, it gave it an elegant touch. Of course I loved the whole thing, I could read it again and again and still feel the same ^_^ loved it as always, anticipating the next.

 

Hey all! I wrote a new song!

GREY

I only see my world in black and white
The present is a curse in my twisted little mind
Everything I see is grey, apart from your blue eyes
Is that because you're still alive?

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

Too much colour then something's not right
One more colour and I'll be blinded by light
Everything I see is grey, apart from your blue eyes
Is that because you're still alive?

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

You're a fragment that I kept in my mind
I really am delusional this time
You're a fragment in this little grey world of mine

You're a fragment of hope in my day
You're a part that will never go away
You're a fragment of colour in my grey

I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I like nostalgia, I don't like today
I love my world in shades of grey

I like nostalgia, and the games it plays
I like the memories, they toy with my brain
I love my world when its all grey

 

MORE LYRICS

False Hope
V1:
It's like being told
Your favourite childhood hero doesn't exist
And you realise no-one's here to save you
But at heart
I'm a kid, with my hopes and dreams, I'm optimistic
Then you come
And you ground me
And it kills me
But it frees me

Chorus:
'Cause I'll go to sleep
And you won't be
Waiting for me in my dreams
And I'm letting go
Of my false hope
Even though it's all I know
So let's stay friends
It's all you expect
Me to forget with no regrets
So I'll let go
Of my false hope
But my false hope is all I know

V2:
It's like being told
Everything you believed in was a lie
And you realise there's no truth staring back at you
It's so frightening
To face the facts, things have changed, but you relax
Because you've come
To ground me
To kill me
But to free me

Chorus:
So I'll go to sleep
And you won't be
Waiting for me in my dreams
And I'm letting go
Of my false hope
Even though it's all I know
So let's stay friends
It's all you expect
Me to forget with no regrets
So I'll let go
Of my false hope
But my false hope is all I know

Bridge:
Now we're all good
It all makes sense
What happens when
One of us bends
For a new one
What will you do?
Who will you lose?
How will you get through?

Chorus:
So I'll go to sleep
And you won't be
Waiting for me in my dreams
And I'm letting go
Of my false hope
Even though it's all I know
So let's stay friends
It's all you expect
Me to forget with no regrets
So I'll let go
Of my false hope
But my false hope is all I know