Almost Immortal

Discussion in 'Written Works' started by Technic☆Kitty, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. Technic☆Kitty User Is Inactive

    Joined:
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    Almost Immortal
    Chapter 1
    Strawberries

    Marceline awoke just as the sun was setting. For her this was like waking in the morning. The night was her day. She casually rose out of bed and meandered her way to the bathroom. It was difficult keeping up appearances when you can't see yourself in a mirror. She'd likely put it in a ponytail as she didn't feel like putting in the extra time. After her shower, she donned her typical grey shirt and blue jeans. She also threw on her favorite plaid jacket. She only had the one plaid jacket. Still, it was her favorite.

    The rumbling of her stomach said it was time to grab a bite to eat. What was she in the mood for? Apples? Cherries? Most likely the decision would be made at the fridge. She hovered downstairs into the kitchen. "Hmm hm hm-hm-hm-hm-hm hm hm-hmm," she hummed as she opened up the fridge. She looked around for a moment before pulling out a bowl of strawberries. She didn't really like strawberries, for some reason the red just didn't taste right. They were a gift, though, so she couldn't just toss them. This was especially true considering the gifter.





    Knock knock knock. "Hold on," Marceline called as she made her way to the door. Who would be knocking on her door at this time of the day? Probably Finn wanting her to go do something again. Knock knock knock. "Okay, okay," she cried as she opened the door. To her surprise she was met by a pink fist halfway through the motion of knocking again. "Bonnibel?"

    Princess Bubblegum blushed in embarrassment, "Oh, s-sorry. Oh glob, I'm such a dufus. You were sleeping, weren't you?"

    Marceline gestured to her pajama pants. "No, I always dress like this," she replied sarcastically. After rolling her eyes emphatically she continued, "So to what do I owe the pleasure of her highness' company?"

    "Marceline," Bubblegum sighed. She shook her head, "Nevermind. I just wanted to thank you for your help the other night. I'd have never made it through that cave. If you hadn't been there then I couldn't have gotten the jelly-bean mushrooms I needed for my research. ... ... Why were you-"

    Marceline interrupted with a cough, "So, if that's all then I think I'll be going back to bed now." She attempted to close her door but was stopped by a strangely powerful hand.

    "Hold on, I've got something for you." Bubblegum held out a gift-wrapped box with a ribbon on top. "My way of saying thanks."

    Marceline eyed the package for a time before carefully taking it in her hand. "Thanks, but you know you don't have to give someone something when you thank them, right?"

    Bubblegum nodded, "Yes but it's a good emphasizer. It usually has a high success rate with my citizens." At that Marceline sneered. "Sorry! Sorry," Bubblegum frowned. After a very long moment of silence she coughed, "Well, I guess I'll let you get your sleep now. I'm sorry to have disturbed you." Without another word she turned and left the cave where Marceline's home resided.





    "Stupid Bonnie," thought Marceline as she drained the red from a strawberry. "She just comes and goes as she pleases. Who does she think she is? Me?" She sighed as she returned the now half-empty bowl of strawberries to the fridge. She headed for the front door and thought, "I don't even like strawberries."





     
  2. Magick ~Meaner then my demons~

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    So I haven't seen Adventure Time, and I'm not familiar with the characters. I pretty much clicked on it because of the author and the title. And I didn't regret it.
    The one grammar snag I saw was "her highness' company?" Highness is typically capitalized since it's a title that is used to address someone.
    I'm kind of intrigued, and since you rated it PG-13 I think I'll stick around.