A tip for the ladies (and gents):

How so? It's not like you would ask anyone you are attracted to out on a date, there are multiple factors. And just because you don't ask someone out then and there, doesn't mean that you might do so in the future, again, there are multiple factors.

You are talking with someone, just finding out stuff about them. You get on the subject of boy/girlfriends. Isn't it natural to ask if the other person has a boy/girlfriend at this point? It seems like a natural thing to ask, someone having a significant other is a part of who they are. And if they don't have a significant other, is there a way to get away from the subject without "insulting" them? Or "friendzoning" them?

I just don't see how this would work. Then again, it might be because I've never actually been friendzoned, so that might be why. Eventually I will grow bitter like the rest of the people around here.

 

You know you're really cutting it close. "Bitter" is not a thing you call someone, much less a generalization you make, in polite company. Can you manage to carry on this discussion without taking shots like that?

 

Yes, I will carry on the discussion.

... What discussion? There has been none since my post. Besides, that was more a suggestion of a solution as to why I didn't understand your problem with this phrase. Bitter can be changed, it was more for a lack of a better word. Much like how troll seems to be used on this forum.

taking shots at the entirety of khv heck yeah

 

You did not simply state that they were attractive. That would be one thing. You made a blanket statement about their relationship status itself. In order you to speak of someone's relationship status without referencing yourself, you must exclude yourself.

In essence, you have to be a friend or less to say this. Because of this requirement, in saying it, you show the subject that you consider them a friend. That is what we call "friendzoning".

 

Christhor be friendzoning all the ladies up in here.

 

Don't blame someone else for choosing your words poorly.

Then perhaps you should stop assuming and read what it actually says.
It's actually really simple. Why are people surprised when someone isn't in a relationship? Because they are attractive, and attractive people are quickly taken. If I was hairy, smelled of corpses and was a prick to everyone to boot, no one would be surprised if I was still single.

If you don't follow it up with "I would date you", then it implies exactly zilch. Not outright saying that you would or intending to can still have a variety of reasons, ranging from genuinely not being interested, to not having considered it seriously (yet) to thinking about it all the time but not being able to spit it out. Could give a personal example to drive my point home but since you're considered to be one of the more intelligent members here, I'm hoping I won't need it.

Yes, we did. See above.

===

Also, being friendzoned or even outright rejected isn't an insult at all and you may have to cut back on soap operas if you still think that it is. If she lets you walk away with your dignity intact rather than yelling "Ew creep, piss off!", then she deserves some respect and gratitude for that.

 

I believe you are assuming on your own. You assume that they are being honest. You also assume that when a person does mean it, they are referring to the attractiveness of your appearance. They could mean that you have an engaging personality, are rich, are skilled in something or any number of other factors that might drive someone to date you. It is rather context dependent. And beyond, they could be trying to cheer you up or become friends with you. This phrase is a very common tool for false flattery.

In all cases, this remark is not something that I can see someone saying if they themselves have an interest at the time, or it certainly is an indirect and ineffective way to express it if they do.

You do not need it.

Ah, let me rephrase. In most cases in which the receiving party is interested, it causes the other person to infer that you are not interested, whatever your intention was. If you know that it will cause this reaction, then you are knowingly or intentionally implying that meaning. Is that clearer?

You did not. Also see above.

I agree. I do not consider it a problem to friendzone someone. The problem is that when said person is interested in you and is perhaps obvious about it, saying this will crush them. It is not a nice way to intentionally friendzone someone. And it is nearly as big of a crime to crush them unknowingly. There are far better ways to go about it. Is that not what you meant, Sforzato?

 

Whoa boy, this oughta be good...

Guilty as charged, but it's an assumption I make out of necessity. You can't interpret any remark thrown at you without assuming honesty or dishonesty a priori. Or you could choose not to interpret it at all and just sit there with a dumb look on your face. Not my style, funnily enough. Next!

I do not, I merely used appearance as an example (and not just appearance if you read carefully). I used the term "attractiveness" as a blanket term for all of the above. Think of it as a report card. Obviously you won't ace every single parameter; you may even fail a critical one. But when someone basically calls you attractive, you must have done something right.

Of course, and I never once said that said phrase is always translatable to "Hey honey, let's hook up.". My point was that it shouldn't be interpreted as "instant friend zone *trollface*" which still stands. And as far as the "false flattery" is concerned, It's a phrase used for a variety of purposes but seldom spoken as an outright lie. Like I said, surprised means surprised and nothing else. No one is going to lie about being surprised that someone is single when they saw it coming from a mile away. Not even when that person is standing right in front of them. They'd rather not remark at all, as logic would have it.

It's only ineffective if you expect it to do miracles. No single compliment is going to win someone over. Telling a girl that she has beautiful eyes isn't going to get you into her pants.

Not unless you put it in a quick-and-dirty "Person A says / Person B says" form. I'm in my exam month at the moment, so I have to deep fry my brain more than enough without the "administration of justice" speak in a KHV debate.

Pray tell.

 

You guys are fucking asking for it.

I'm sick of being reminded of this thread. Someone lock it.

 

_Locked


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