A tip for the ladies (and gents):

Oh yeah no those are horrible

 

I really don't get how being suprised at someone not having a boyfriend is rude, or means that you're not interested in them. I have been interested in people I've told something like that before, because I'm genuinely suprised. People can also look attractive without you being attracted to them.

 

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

And so if it's not a compliment, is saying "Im not surprised you don't have a gf/bf" any better?

 

It's a rare, rare exception in my experience.

Yes but then why would you put yourself in that situation

Could you not find another way to compliment them

Opposite in syntax does not mean opposite in effect.

 

Im sure the other person will know that you are complimenting them.

 

people say that to me a lot B|

oh god. i am in everyone's friend zone.

 

Really?

Any time I've said anything remotely similar (I'm so oblivious. For the most part, I genuinely mean I'm surprised.) to that I always get something like ,

"Surprised? Why? /fishes for compliments."
"Um..."
​

​

 

In this thread: People who were friendzoned at least once in their lives.

 

hmm, If someone told me that they're surprised I don't have a boyfriend...I'd take it as a compliment...just my opinion...

how to be friendzoned:
"...I think we should just stay friends..."

"I kinda like somebody else..."

"Oh how awkward, I started going out with your bestfriend last week..."
^yeah, that'd do it...

 

Wrong.

I've never even been friendzoned. ;~;

 

Okay. For realisies. Since when was the friendzone ever so bad?

 

When you idealize someone, and they are the only person you can see yourself with in the future, and every time you see them, you feel your heart beat faster and your hands get clammy, knowing they don't feel the same way is pretty damn bad.

Most people get over it after a (possibly long) while, but at the time it sucks bigtime.

 

I remember saying that to my girlfriend before she was my girlfriend.
Being surprised that one doesn't have a partner doesn't convey any implication of interest whatsoever. It's basically a subtle (still blatantly obvious) way of saying "Hey, you're pretty attractive.".
At least, that's how I use it.
If you've been at the receiving end of that sentence, man the fuck up and say thank you.

 

I have to agree with Sticks here.
Stop taking things the worst way possible, or else you will just look like a pussy. A girl is staring at you? Assume that she can't tear her eyes away because you're so beautiful, not because you look like an absolute freak. It's the only way for a true man to look at things.

 

While I agree in a way, the double standard is there.

To say "I am surprised that no one else would date you" implies that you are good enough for others, but not for me. I do not personally condemn people for considering others below their standards. However, if you mean to ask them out, then do so. If you do not wish to offend them, then do not suggest that they are below your standards.

To the best of my understanding, Sforzato's intention was not to suggest that others should not reject using this phrase, but rather that they should know that it is insulting and only use it with that knowledge in mind. To make them aware of their actions is not to say that they should not take them under any circumstances. He simply wishes for people to be more conscious of their actions.

In retrospect, this problem arises because people believe in 'dating' or 'not dating' states. If you drop those pretenses, then it becomes less of an insult, but I can see why many would have trouble dropping them.

 

But that's not the line D!Nova said, it was:

Those two are completely different lines. One is stating that you are suprised someone else doesn't have a boy/girlfriends, which doesn't have to have some ulterior motive, except saying you seem like the kind of person who would be in a relationship. While the other is more "I'm suprised that not a single person in this world has decided to date you, I won't either though". They are nothing alike.

 

Thank you Mr. Take It At Face-Value Only When It Would Irritate Someone.

Would it satisfy you if I amended the statement to basically what Makaze said? If so then consider it done.

 

Yes. Yes it would.

You can all thank me later.

 

I get the feeling you've use that before.
A lot.

 

It is assumed. You are saying, "I am surprised that you are not currently dating someone," without saying, "I would date you." If you do not follow it up with, "I would date you" or intend it that way, then it implies my statement.