LARiA

Hello there, Laria. How're you this wonderful evening night day afternoon

Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that you should head over to the Postbox! There's a surprise for you there.

Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that you should head over to the Postbox! There's a surprise for you there.

Hahaha. It has a lot of different meanings. I was using it to refer to arousal.

How's jesus camp treating you?

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Checking in on all of you lovelies while I have computer access for this limited time, can't help but notice myself quoted in Forzie's siggy. Don't know if I should take offense or feel flattered. Silently mocking me, Forzie? Flattered, more like. You shouldn't have.

Why did you.
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Because it was magnificent and it gave me the vapors *fans self*. I wish I had the pleasure of seeing you mad more often~

To an extent, I would suppose - though I must say my skill at signature creation and image alternation is not the best. I suppose it is a reason why I am not as active in the Graphic Art section, but thank you dearly for the compliment madam.

I would certainly not mind, though I must say I experience a combination - I usually do think quite a bit in words but not to the point of obnoxious insecurity and incessant chattering. Thus I am not too sure where my vote may lie, perhaps towards the affirmative.

And I must say, it is indeed quite true. Never have I met anyone such as yourself, madam - prior to this account, of course.

I am patient. Don't worry. Take as much time as you need.

I went to Universal Studios in Hollywood today. It's awesome there.

That is exactly.. (And I mean exactly) How I acted, and STILL act, after my parents "found out" about Scott. (BF)
I don't love him anymore. Here's what happened after they found out. I told my BFF Kaylee to go onto her account on my website, and she did, I told her to message him and tell him I was gone for him, and couldn't possibly come back, because my parents would beat the f***ing HELL out of me. I told her to tell him that I loved him, but wasn't allowed to. You know what he does? He doesn't even reply to her, when I finally get the courage to be my webmasterly self again and go online to edit some things, sure enough, he's on the chatbox, lazy mod not doing his job. I log on, what do I get? "Hi." After everything that we had been through. I was absolutely mortified. I get so pissed whenever I see him online anymore. All he does is blog about how his fat-a$$ parents get him stuff he doesn't want, and that his virtual school classmates are annoying. Okay, get this, HE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO SCHOOL. HE DOESN'T KNOW HALF OF THE BULLYING, STRESS, AND WORK YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH. He doesn't even care that I loved him more than anything in the whole world. He literally doesn't have a life. He's online almost 24/7, plays wii fit for 20 minutes because he's overweight by a lot (I admit I'm overweight, but only by about 5 pounds, the doctor said. 121 pounds is actually pretty normal for my age. My friends aren't overweight but they weigh more. WTF.) Anyway, I'm just super pissed off all the time. I wish I could be calmer, but yeah.

(this is the story I've made you wait for)
I am Christian, as you may know already, but my faith in Jesus Christ has been dwindling down to almost nothing within the past 3 months because of what has been happening. I kept praying over, and over, and over, and over, and over for him to gain some feeling for me. I wanted him so bad. He didn't even notice me. I could die and he would say "Oh". He almost constantly gets involved with other girls (including anime girls that don't exist, and pretends to go out with them. Wtf.) So, I got frustrated. I prayed for all this to go away. I prayed for help, I prayed for mercy, whatever it was that was making him not like me, ignore me, whatever it was. Why is it that he was so paranoid, he was so bland, and he hid things from me? Before, I had gotten a "Good Morning :)" or an "I love you" every five seconds, and then when he hit 13 years old, it became "Hi. My name's emotionless. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I'm going to ignore you." I believed that God wasn't listening either. He didn't care either. Jesus Christ was a waste of time. Kaylee wasn't any help anymore. My first actual best friend, my first actual trusted, loved, real life friend.. Didn't matter to me. Lucifer was my option. One stupid option, I'd say. It was a snowball's chance in hell that it would work, but I believed it. In the nightmares, Lucifer had told me he'd take me somewhere better. God didn't care. God was mud. God was absolute bulls**t to me then. I believed that there really was another option. "Feed the fire, fade away, and be welcomed to paradise" was my last resort. It had happened before, it had stopped. But it was happening again, after I'd decided to become Satanic. No rituals, nothing, but I wanted to live with Lucifer, in a better place, where no one would care, where I could devote myself to helping Lucifer. I would feel as if I was going to sleep. Then in a matter of seconds, *blink*, back to the real world. As if I had taken a short nap. It turned out, that one day that I was so fed up, I had blanked out, and somehow, all of my devices had demonic messages to my friends, from me. I know you're thinking that this is absolute baloney sandwich, but what I am saying is true. Kaylee started to freak out (she was one of the people who got the messages) and everything kind of went from there. I decided to go get my pocketknife, and you can guess what I tried to do next. I tried to feed the fire. Tried to fade away. Tried to be welcomed to the paradise. I guess I had told Kaylee and some other people, even on the website, because soon enough, I don't even remember how long it was before many people were freaking out about how I was "possessed" and was acting.. not like myself... I realized, Scott went away because Scott wasn't worth it. I was better than him. I cared. He didn't, so he can go f**k off. I apologized to my true lord, my true saviour. Jesus Christ will have my love for eternity. Scott, however, I hope he gets damned and goes to hell. He made my life miserable. He didn't even.. try to make me feel better, he never apologized.. He didn't care..

I know it sounds like bullshit. What I experienced was for me to believe true and for others who heard, to believe it or not.

Maybe. I dunno, on my worse days I feel I might be outright anti-. But yes, I believe I meant asocial, thank you.

It's up to you. I would like it, though. And if you'd like to get to know me better and/or vice-versa, I'll gladly talk on any subject. I'm just not very good at thinking them up is all. >_>

From where stems the guilt? Just from not talking to people?

I understand. I'd like to get to know you, though. I love conversation, I'm just not prone to start it up. I'm actually very antisocial, if you can believe it. If it bothers you to have those names sitting there, wasting space, then I wouldn't be offended; I could still contact you anyway, unless you were to block me.

Is something on your mind, hon? You seem a little tense.

To be honest, I don't consciously see why only thirteen people led you to feel suffocated. And if you wanted to, you could have always talked to me; I'm pretty much omnipresent on MSN/here. And it's my fault too, for not talking to you as much as I could have. So I am sorry for that.

But on a subconscious level, I guess I do the same, so there's understanding there?
Mind **** how does it work.

EDIT: Okay, that sounded horribly rude. :c

But if you ever do want to talk or get to know me, I'm here. I'm usually the one that tends to initiate conversations, but there are moments where I just don't feel like putting much effort into it...because I id when I srtared it X amount of times, y'know? It's one of m major flaws; antsocialness.

And it's none of my business so you don't have to tell me, but are you okay? Your sentences seem to just be poring out, which is something that you don't normally do. I'm here to talk/vent to if you need it. :c

I did.
And left a message for you over MSN.
But you probably did not receive it.

>:

That thriller idea sounds good. Something with a Lovecraftian bent, perhaps, but from the perspective of a composed, polite gentlewoman. Yeah, I can see myself reading that.

So are you mad at me in particular? What's this about divulging secrets? Feel free to take it to PMs if it's personal.

Am I worthy of your presence on MSN? c:

So you type in shorthand when you're angry. Interesting habit.

Yes.

All sorts of things, but how much rep you have first of all. I have 665 and I only have a rep power of four.

Your rep points still count for nothing.

Good point, lol. I was just trying to say he'd be able to word it better. I'll tell the story. It happened over about 6 hours though. o_o I need some time to type it up on word and then c&p.